Thankless at times, downright mean others!

**canoehead, BSN, RN** · Dec 6, 2004

That was from emsboss- and may he grace us with his wisdom more often!

Pattiecake · Dec 7, 2004

..what kind of 'NURSE' is he wishing for??????

Believe it or not, during the Crimean War, Florence Nightingale (a classmate and personal friend of mine) saw to ALL :imbar her patients' needs. This is why she died of VD.:imbar Just another piece of trivea from the crypt.

:chuckle :chuckle

webblarsk · Dec 7, 2004

Believe it or not, during the Crimean War, Florence Nightingale (a classmate and personal friend of mine) saw to ALL :imbar her patients' needs. This is why she died of VD.:imbar Just another piece of trivea from the crypt.
:chuckle :chuckle

LMAO :chuckle :chuckle :chuckle

alisunshine9 · Dec 7, 2004

I had one patient who was grumpy no matter what. I almost broke my back getting him from the bed to the chair, and when I finally got him there all he did was complain about being out of bed and threatened bodily harm if I didn't get him back to bed right after breakfast. :uhoh21: Then I gave him a sponge bath and listened to him tell me how horrible I was. After caring for this man for an hour and trying to talk him into giving me a chance before deeming that I was incompetent to care for him, he proceeded to tell me that I was a "horrible nurse with no sympathy." :imbar He was A+Ox3 and had just said the worst insult I could ever imagine receiving from a patient. :sniff: I told him, "I'm very sorry you feel that way. I do care, and if there is anything I can do to make your day better just let me know." I could've cried. I could've snapped at him. But sometimes people react with negativity when they are faced with their own vulnerability. You have to be confident in your nursing skills so these situations don't feel like a knife through your heart. :nurse:

Lrosemond · Dec 7, 2004

I think you started off right but took it alittle too far. He had no right to say anything to you about your hair or anything else. You stated over and over how his comments didn't bother you but by your long dissertation you proved other wise.

webblarsk · Dec 7, 2004

I had one patient who was grumpy no matter what. I almost broke my back getting him from the bed to the chair, and when I finally got him there all he did was complain about being out of bed and threatened bodily harm if I didn't get him back to bed right after breakfast. :uhoh21: Then I gave him a sponge bath and listened to him tell me how horrible I was. After caring for this man for an hour and trying to talk him into giving me a chance before deeming that I was incompetent to care for him, he proceeded to tell me that I was a "horrible nurse with no sympathy." :imbar He was A+Ox3 and had just said the worst insult I could ever imagine receiving from a patient. I told him, "I'm very sorry you feel that way. I do care, and if there is anything I can do to make your day better just let me know." I could've cried. I could've snapped at him. But sometimes people react with negativity when they are faced with their own vulnerability. You have to be confident in your nursing skills so these situations don't feel like a knife through your heart.

I think that was a wonderful way to respond. You could have sunk to his level and been hateful but what good would it have done!

Antikigirl, ASN, RN · Dec 7, 2004

Believe it or not, during the Crimean War, Florence Nightingale (a classmate and personal friend of mine) saw to ALL :imbar her patients' needs. This is why she died of VD.:imbar Just another piece of trivea from the crypt.
:chuckle :chuckle

LOL, wow am I glad that isn't in practice anymore (or at least I didn't have to attend "sexual gratification 101: making your patient happy!" in any studies LOL!!!!!!). Oh my..I can just see it...:uhoh21: "oh now time for your bed bath, then I must attend to your sexual needs, then another bed bath..." I can see that call light board staying lit like a blinking Christmas tree all the time!!!! :eek: Oh nurrrrseeeeeeeee! LOL and ewwwwwww!:imbar

Can you imagine the uniforms we would have to wear at that point??? :eek: The cap would soooooooo be a given:nurse: , as well as spiked heels...oh goodie!!! LOL!!!!! "Bum bu bu waaaa wow...."

MFlash · Dec 7, 2004

When I read this I had to smile. I have a dad that is now bed ridden and pretty much talks to me the same way. He keeps telling me I need to cut my hair, my legs look funny, I've gained a little weight. Luckily, I no longer let it bother me. As I think about it, he has prepared me for some of the crap I will have to put up with as nurse (still on the waiting list). Thanks for sharing your story.

I have this one patient that complains about EVERYTHING...well it must have been a slow day yesterday...so he turned to me!
I just got my hair cut, it is short and spikey and I put some highlights in. I went into his room and he went from hello straight on to how much he hated my hair! He told me it looked 'punk' it looked 'unkept' and it didn't look feminine in any way...that I should ask my husband for a appointment for a perm! (my avatar is me btw...that is how my hair is).
I must have looked at him like he was an exhibit from the dark ages in the museum! LOL! I just nodded, smiled and went on to my work. But this guy wouldn't let up! HOW rude is that??????
Finally he said "now if something was wrong with me, I would want you to tell me...is there something wrong with me that you don't like?"
OH WHERE TO BEGIN??? LOL!
But I simply said "you know something..I am a professional nurse, I see things in all people that can be improved, and things I like, and things I really don't like. But you know, I am not your friend, I am not your buddy...I am your nurse, you are a work subject only to me frankly. I don't tell my work subjects my personal opinion unless it is related to medical, and then it isn't my personal opinion per say as much as my clinical opinion. I don't go into peoples room because I want to...heck it is 0630 in the morning I would rather be in bed, but I come in because it is my job!"
Then I smiled :) "Now, if you want to go personal this hairdo matches my personality outside of work, which I do have a life outside of work contrary to popular belief. You are taking to a nurse by day...a tattoo'd, 6 hole earring wearing, smoking, belly peirced gal who plans on getting a nose ring and more tattoos in the future:smokin: , but you wouldn't know that because I don't show that in my professional life at all..out goes the earrings and the tattoo is fully covered simply by placement of clothes:specs: ! My husband loves it:kiss , and would rather me look like a fun loving gal than a permed up priss with her hair just so every day...and I don't ask his permission to get a hair cut, or piercings, or tattoos, or clothes (actually I do...LOL!) because I am an adult. As far as your comment about my hair...frankly mr. __ I don't take it to heart or would waste time being upset on your opinion of me unless it was professional...do you have any probelms with my nursing skills? "
He was shocked and said "well...ummmmm no".:chair:
And I cut him off, "Good, now onto your CBG..and another little tid bit of advice about nurses in general, not a good idea to tell one something to upset them when they have to poke you afterwards?!?!? Maybe a good idea to wait till after the pokes with some nurses...not me because as I said I really don't take your comments to heart and would be upset in anyway, but I know a few that may not make it pleasant!";) . And had a huge smile on that couldn't be told if it was an evil smile or a I am being friendly smile (ohhhhhhh that smile is powerful! LOL).
I won that little convo obviously..but OMG what gall!!!!!! Hi nurse I hate your hair you look like crap! UHGGGGGG. They say nursing is a thankless job..yes at times, but at times it can be down right mean!
What kinds of rude comments about your personal life or choice in hairstyles/clothing and what not have you experienced? This is actually my first, and no...I am not mad, a little shocked that he said it, but not made (infact I busted up laughing hard when I left like "OMG I can't believe he said that..heck I can't believe I said what I did..LOL!".:roll )

Diahni · Dec 7, 2004

Forget him! Rude people are everywhere. My favorite line when someone says an intentionally insulting remark is, "Flattery will get you nowhere."

Diahni

I have this one patient that complains about EVERYTHING...well it must have been a slow day yesterday...so he turned to me!
I just got my hair cut, it is short and spikey and I put some highlights in. I went into his room and he went from hello straight on to how much he hated my hair! He told me it looked 'punk' it looked 'unkept' and it didn't look feminine in any way...that I should ask my husband for a appointment for a perm! (my avatar is me btw...that is how my hair is).
I must have looked at him like he was an exhibit from the dark ages in the museum! LOL! I just nodded, smiled and went on to my work. But this guy wouldn't let up! HOW rude is that??????
Finally he said "now if something was wrong with me, I would want you to tell me...is there something wrong with me that you don't like?"
OH WHERE TO BEGIN??? LOL!
But I simply said "you know something..I am a professional nurse, I see things in all people that can be improved, and things I like, and things I really don't like. But you know, I am not your friend, I am not your buddy...I am your nurse, you are a work subject only to me frankly. I don't tell my work subjects my personal opinion unless it is related to medical, and then it isn't my personal opinion per say as much as my clinical opinion. I don't go into peoples room because I want to...heck it is 0630 in the morning I would rather be in bed, but I come in because it is my job!"
Then I smiled :) "Now, if you want to go personal this hairdo matches my personality outside of work, which I do have a life outside of work contrary to popular belief. You are taking to a nurse by day...a tattoo'd, 6 hole earring wearing, smoking, belly peirced gal who plans on getting a nose ring and more tattoos in the future:smokin: , but you wouldn't know that because I don't show that in my professional life at all..out goes the earrings and the tattoo is fully covered simply by placement of clothes:specs: ! My husband loves it:kiss , and would rather me look like a fun loving gal than a permed up priss with her hair just so every day...and I don't ask his permission to get a hair cut, or piercings, or tattoos, or clothes (actually I do...LOL!) because I am an adult. As far as your comment about my hair...frankly mr. __ I don't take it to heart or would waste time being upset on your opinion of me unless it was professional...do you have any probelms with my nursing skills? "
He was shocked and said "well...ummmmm no".:chair:
And I cut him off, "Good, now onto your CBG..and another little tid bit of advice about nurses in general, not a good idea to tell one something to upset them when they have to poke you afterwards?!?!? Maybe a good idea to wait till after the pokes with some nurses...not me because as I said I really don't take your comments to heart and would be upset in anyway, but I know a few that may not make it pleasant!";) . And had a huge smile on that couldn't be told if it was an evil smile or a I am being friendly smile (ohhhhhhh that smile is powerful! LOL).
I won that little convo obviously..but OMG what gall!!!!!! Hi nurse I hate your hair you look like crap! UHGGGGGG. They say nursing is a thankless job..yes at times, but at times it can be down right mean!
What kinds of rude comments about your personal life or choice in hairstyles/clothing and what not have you experienced? This is actually my first, and no...I am not mad, a little shocked that he said it, but not made (infact I busted up laughing hard when I left like "OMG I can't believe he said that..heck I can't believe I said what I did..LOL!".:roll )

Antikigirl, ASN, RN · Dec 7, 2004

Forget him! Rude people are everywhere. My favorite line when someone says an intentionally insulting remark is, "Flattery will get you nowhere."
Diahni

I have used that one lots of times..LOL! That or "oh now come on...you are making me blush!"....LOL!!!!!!!

As I said..this was the first time I really kinda got into it...and very tame for an Oregonain..LOL! But it sooooooo worked well, and as of yesterday he is asking about my volunteer exprerience with NW rock medicine (I volunteer as a medic at outdoor events and concerts!), and he is loving it! I really opened up a fun door for us to converse, and he is honestly interested..and told me he wants a story daily from my experiences..he thinks it is so cool! He is starting to realize I am far from eye candy or maid service but a real working nurse that knows her stuff! And for some reason it is opening more doors with caregivers too...he is actually being rather poliet now!

Who would have thought??? Guess sometimes stepping outside the professional constraints pays off..not that I will do this all the time..but it worked!

LOL, and yesterday I had a very stanch woman say basically the same thing about my hair..LOL!!!!!!! And I didn't get into it at all..just said "hey, no one said I wasn't different *big happy smile, which she did back..but she also shook her head and giggled!!*". She would NOT benifit from anything else I would say, but it was actually an honor that she even talked to me..she doesn't speak much, and her even saying this was a sign she was comfortable enough to tell me what she thinks! The guy was just being rude, she was actually communicating on a more personal level that I appreciated!!!

They say nursing is an art..well I went totally Jackson Pollock abstract on him...but it still turned out to be an benificial art form! LOL!!!!!!!

GLORIAmunchkin72 · Dec 7, 2004

you should have told the doc he's got a booger (bugger?) hanging out of his nose!

i had my hair in a ponytail once, and a patient commented "i'll bet you think your hair looks good. i just wanted you to know that it doesn't." wtf? another time, i was in an elevator with my patient, several visitors, and two doctors. one of the doctors stared at me for the longest time, and then said "you know, ruby (got my name off my nametag, i'm sure) you'd be a pretty girl if you didn't have such bad acne. come on down to my office and i'll write you a script." what an @$$! i had two zits, but even if i'd been a broken out mess, he shouldn't have offered an unsolicited opinion in front of a group of people! :( :angryfire :angryfire

paulicat · Dec 7, 2004

There are some patients that nothing said or done will change their hateful ways.

I have experienced times when I have said something that will kind of shock the patient. It really helps to get their attention first, and if possible, look at them in the eye as "kindly" as possible.

Some patients might be shocked if we said something like this back to them. I know we may not can do this every situation and with every hateful patient. However at times, we might say something like this:

"I am sorry to hear you say something like that to me because I had thought you were a really nice person."

"Oh, you didn't really mean to say something so cruel, did you?

"Do you think it would make your day go better if you said kind things to me, your other nurses and others, instead of such hurtful things? It would surely make my day go better, as I am sure it would yours."

I am not saying this will work on many or all patients, but it would be worth a try, that is if you are up to it on any particular day. If we get down to the hateful patients' level, we are not going to feel any better about ourselves.

When someone says something negative about you, make it a choice to go out and say something nice to someone else. If this sounds a little Polly Anna-ish, it may be. But it is worth a try. The main issue is really how we feel about ourselves and not how some mean person feels about us. :saint: