I'm going through a really rough time and I'm not sure this is the best place to put this post but I guess I need someone to hear me.
I moved to Brazil in 2019 and, short story, I had an urgent hysterectomy (open abdominal) 2 days ago. The nursing staff at the hospital here were extremely indifferent toward me. I was very frightened before the surgery and was crying, nobody held my hand or told me it would be okay. They only talked to me to tell me to move this way, put my arm here, etc. 1 day postop I tried to ambulate to the bathroom (no one would help me) and fainted, hitting my face on the bathroom floor (currently have a black eye and bruised cheekbone). I woke up and yelled "help, help!" about 10-15 times before anyone came, finally it was my boyfriend who woke up and came to help me. The nurses stood there sucking their teeth and saying they can't believe I did this as he helped me back to bed. No one examined me afterwards, looked at my face, or even asked if I had symptoms.
The doctor came shortly after that and said I could go home, and you could believe I got out of there as fast as I could. The doctor only sent me home with ketoprofen. For an open abdominal surgery. I am currently using old prescriptions of zofran and hydrocodone I brought with me from the states.
My feelings are so hurt at being treated like this. I would never in my life let a patient fall. I would never let a patient sit in bed and cry. I have always made sure to tell my patients to call me if they feel anxious, upset, or need to talk. I hold my patients' hands and say I am here for you.
I feel like these nurses hated me. My boyfriend, who is Brazilian, says this is normal here. He says it is his fault for letting me fall because the family is supposed to do all the patient care, the nurses are just there to give medication. I am beyond offended at this idea, that nurses are just pill pushers. I am having a lot of second thoughts about living in a place where anyone would act like this, to me it's just common decency.
I was discharged to home yesterday and honestly terrified of having complications and having to go back to the hospital. I also feel like I need to find out what the governing body is for hospitals here and file a complaint against these people.
Given the screen name change I believe the OP has decided to disengage from our community.
Her initial post was within the norm and she got a lot of sympathy for her treatment by the staff at that facility, however, her reactions to some people at AN were inflammatory and rude. Such behavior is not welcome in our community.
Her initial post was within the norm and she got a lot of sympathy for her treatment by the staff at that facility, however, her reactions to some people at AN were inflammatory and rude. Such behavior is not welcome in our community.
That really makes me wonder if I missed some of her comments. Because while I completely agree with the posters here, I wouldn't call her comments inflammatory.
I find this post very interesting, but am having trouble putting it into words. Something rubbed me the wrong way about the initial post. I'm American and found MYSELF feeling defensive, let alone how I'd feel if I were a nurse from Brazil.
The public perception of what nursing should be has been irking me to no end. I tried expressing it on a fb comment, but admitted in my comment that I wasn't expressing myself well. I was absolutely roasted in the comments...by fellow nurses. I am just SO DONE with the "Nurses are supposed to be" comments. Because I'm a nurse I'm supposed to be more emotional, more caring, more *visibly* empathetic...AT ALL TIMES, not just at work? Ridiculous. If you hear people tell stories of medical encounters that didn't go how they expected, you will see tons if comments starting with "Nurses are supposed to be..." from people who have zero clue about my profession. To then hear a fellow NURSE complain about it just rubbed me the wrong way. To then not even consider that you are in a different country, or at LEAST take into consideration the replies received and try to understand others view points...is just astounding. Then to further basically tell people to not reply if they do not agree...can you tell I'm a bit PO''d? I can't even finish my sentences. Inflammatory, though? I must have missed something.
That really makes me wonder if I missed some of her comments. Because while I completely agree with the posters here, I wouldn't call her comments inflammatory.
I find this post very interesting, but am having trouble putting it into words. Something rubbed me the wrong way about the initial post. I'm American and found MYSELF feeling defensive, let alone how I'd feel if I were a nurse from Brazil.
The public perception of what nursing should be has been irking me to no end. I tried expressing it on a fb comment, but admitted in my comment that I wasn't expressing myself well. I was absolutely roasted in the comments...by fellow nurses. I am just SO DONE with the "Nurses are supposed to be" comments. Because I'm a nurse I'm supposed to be more emotional, more caring, more *visibly* empathetic...AT ALL TIMES, not just at work? Ridiculous. If you hear people tell stories of medical encounters that didn't go how they expected, you will see tons if comments starting with "Nurses are supposed to be..." from people who have zero clue about my profession. To then hear a fellow NURSE complain about it just rubbed me the wrong way. To then not even consider that you are in a different country, or at LEAST take into consideration the replies received and try to understand others view points...is just astounding. Then to further basically tell people to not reply if they do not agree...can you tell I'm a bit PO''d? I can't even finish my sentences. Inflammatory, though? I must have missed something.
The OP said...
"Thanks for the judgment, dude. I'm sure that's what you would want in this situation. I hope trying to make someone feel like crap on the internet made your day better."
"Maybe if you don't have anything helpful to say and just want to make someone feel worse, maybe just go on ahead and refrain from replying. That's what I want you to do. And anyone else who has a *** sarcastic reply as well."
That is the dialog I consider inflammatory as apparently did some others here. There was absolutely no need for it. The OP was not treated rudely but got angry because she did not like the replies she got.
Specializes in Psych, Corrections, Med-Surg, Ambulatory.
10 minutes ago, juniper222 said:
The OP said...
"Thanks for the judgment, dude. I'm sure that's what you would want in this situation. I hope trying to make someone feel like crap on the internet made your day better."
"Maybe if you don't have anything helpful to say and just want to make someone feel worse, maybe just go on ahead and refrain from replying. That's what I want you to do. And anyone else who has a *** sarcastic reply as well."
That is the dialog I consider inflammatory as apparently did some others here. There was absolutely no need for it. The OP was not treated rudely but got angry because she did not like the replies she got.
The statements that jumped out at me were from the original post: "It hurt my feelings so much." "I felt like the nurses hated me."
1. Most healthy adults have taught themselves not to personalize some else's behaviour to that extent.
2. If that's the way they do things in another country, that's the way they do things. Clearly the pits if you're a patient there, but definitely one of the many things to consider when moving to a foreign country.
3. After she fell and hollered 10-15 times, her boyfriend finally woke up and responded. I'd be mad at him for being so slow to wake up and respond.
4. I'm all for sympathizing when someone has a bad experience, but the whole post screamed professional victim. Maybe it was just a reflection of the recent postop status and poor pain control, but I couldn't help feeling my sympathy drying up. The nasty comments to responders who didn't jump on the bandwagon didn't help.
5. Some people thrive on the adventure of living in foreign countries and don't mind some less-than-stellar experiences. The OP should really consider if this is for her, or she should just come home.
This post makes me very sad. I don't mean this in a cruel way, but if you knew that you were going to move to another country, you should research important aspects of the place, like banking, health care, the economy, transportation, etc. Had you done more research for yourself, these events may not have happened, or they could have been avoided or minimized. This is the problem with Americans when we travel overseas. We have expectation that the standards are the same, when they are not.
I'm glad to see you're feeling we'll enough to post such feisty comments here. Maybe in a backwards way I'm helping you recuperate. Get your mind off your troubles.
The statements that jumped out at me were from the original post: "It hurt my feelings so much." "I felt like the nurses hated me."
1. Most healthy adults have taught themselves not to personalize some else's behaviour to that extent.
2. If that's the way they do things in another country, that's the way they do things. Clearly the pits if you're a patient there, but definitely one of the many things to consider when moving to a foreign country.
3. After she fell and hollered 10-15 times, her boyfriend finally woke up and responded. I'd be mad at him for being so slow to wake up and respond.
4. I'm all for sympathizing when someone has a bad experience, but the whole post screamed professional victim. Maybe it was just a reflection of the recent postop status and poor pain control, but I couldn't help feeling my sympathy drying up. The nasty comments to responders who didn't jump on the bandwagon didn't help.
5. Some people thrive on the adventure of living in foreign countries and don't mind some less-than-stellar experiences. The OP should really consider if this is for her, or she should just come home.
Perhaps she is in shock due to major surgery, physical pain, and a very different culture than she is used to.
OP, come home. This can and does happen here, too, of course.
Maybe consult with some lawyers there?
Who takes care of people with no family/friends to help them in hospital?
Why? Because they didn't hold her hand? Or because they didn't respond to her calls? If it's the latter considering her boyfriend was in the same room and didn't hear her maybe the staff didn't either. You can't sue them for having a different culture.
I'm stuck on a few things. So was the boyfriend in the room when she was yelling for the nurses and only got up once she fell and cracked her face? Did he not hear her yelling for help? Did he not tell her beforehand, or after surgery, he (being her family in Brazil) was expected to take care of her?
OP go to the US embassy and bring yourself home. Brazil isn't the country for you and your boyfriend may not be the one or he needs to come to the US. After an experience like that I would be coming home!
I will say that I lived in another country for five years that was some what underdeveloped and had universal type healthcare and had my baby there. It's a very different idea of healthcare as well as the influence from the culture itself...it seems its common in places like these that the family is expected to provide much of the care following the instructions of the nurse or doctors as well as supply much of the medication and supplies. When I had my baby I picked up a list of all the supplies and had to go buy everything including the sterile gloves, drinking water, food, bandages, etc. I did often feel I was treated a bit coldly because I was American, but I learned how to speak the language and how they expected me to act and I acted accordingly and was always treated much better than other Americans who would be demanding, angry, upset. It's just very different and you absolutely cannot expect what you get in America...there is no patient satisfaction scores and you are expected to cooperate and agree with the course of care the doctors dictate. Hospitals in countries like these are places you only go if you absolutely have to and you get out as soon as possible because the expectation is you have a large family to help care for you. Having to have a lot pain medication and help is kind of a shameful thing...it looks bad on you as well as your family, it would be considered embarrassing. Sorry for your experience...I don't think anyone was acting maliciously, I just think you have to understand the culture you are in
Specializes in Psych, Corrections, Med-Surg, Ambulatory.
I suddenly remember a letter shown to me by a mutual friend of a coworker who had moved from Canada to the Dominican Republic. She had married a Dominican and wrote an interesting account of having a baby in the Dominican Republic.
The conditions would have been appalling in Canada, but since she chose to move there, marry a local and have a baby she approached the situation like a big adventure.
The mutual friend and I agreed that neither of us felt the need for any such adventure, but we admired our friend for taking it on. We would probably have admired her less had she complained about the hospital conditions after having chosen voluntarily to more there.
I worked with Docs and nurses from China, Mexico, Philippines etc. All said that the Healthcare system is like others have described, at least for people who are not wealthy. Basic medical care and that is it. Buy supplies prior to admit, no food, no bathing etc by staff, 20 people to a room with little to no curtains. We are way too spoiled here in the US and could use a few cutbacks, IMO. People should not go from one country to another and expect the new country to conform to them.
OP, i feel bad for your situation but hopefully you are feeling better now and realize that maybe it was just cultural differences and not personal.
HandsOffMySteth
471 Posts
Her initial post was within the norm and she got a lot of sympathy for her treatment by the staff at that facility, however, her reactions to some people at AN were inflammatory and rude. Such behavior is not welcome in our community.