I'm going through a really rough time and I'm not sure this is the best place to put this post but I guess I need someone to hear me.
I moved to Brazil in 2019 and, short story, I had an urgent hysterectomy (open abdominal) 2 days ago. The nursing staff at the hospital here were extremely indifferent toward me. I was very frightened before the surgery and was crying, nobody held my hand or told me it would be okay. They only talked to me to tell me to move this way, put my arm here, etc. 1 day postop I tried to ambulate to the bathroom (no one would help me) and fainted, hitting my face on the bathroom floor (currently have a black eye and bruised cheekbone). I woke up and yelled "help, help!" about 10-15 times before anyone came, finally it was my boyfriend who woke up and came to help me. The nurses stood there sucking their teeth and saying they can't believe I did this as he helped me back to bed. No one examined me afterwards, looked at my face, or even asked if I had symptoms.
The doctor came shortly after that and said I could go home, and you could believe I got out of there as fast as I could. The doctor only sent me home with ketoprofen. For an open abdominal surgery. I am currently using old prescriptions of zofran and hydrocodone I brought with me from the states.
My feelings are so hurt at being treated like this. I would never in my life let a patient fall. I would never let a patient sit in bed and cry. I have always made sure to tell my patients to call me if they feel anxious, upset, or need to talk. I hold my patients' hands and say I am here for you.
I feel like these nurses hated me. My boyfriend, who is Brazilian, says this is normal here. He says it is his fault for letting me fall because the family is supposed to do all the patient care, the nurses are just there to give medication. I am beyond offended at this idea, that nurses are just pill pushers. I am having a lot of second thoughts about living in a place where anyone would act like this, to me it's just common decency.
I was discharged to home yesterday and honestly terrified of having complications and having to go back to the hospital. I also feel like I need to find out what the governing body is for hospitals here and file a complaint against these people.
Perhaps she is in shock due to major surgery, physical pain, and a very different culture than she is used to.
OP, come home. This can and does happen here, too, of course.
Maybe consult with some lawyers there?
Who takes care of people with no family/friends to help them in hospital?
From what I have been told (by those who have personal experience), pts in the hospital almost always have a family/friend that can help, those who truly dont have to figure it out, maybe pay someone to bring food, supplies etc some have even had other pts assist them or slip staff a few bucks to do it. IMO, pts in the US don't get assistance from family/friends because they dont have to.
Specializes in Psych, Corrections, Med-Surg, Ambulatory.
37 minutes ago, Daisy4RN said:
From what I have been told (by those who have personal experience), pts in the hospital almost always have a family/friend that can help, those who truly dont have to figure it out, maybe pay someone to bring food, supplies etc some have even had other pts assist them or slip staff a few bucks to do it. IMO, pts in the US don't get assistance from family/friends because they dont have to.
Not only that, but I've had patients call me to perform little tasks while perfectly able family members stand by. I've had family members bring a water bottle to the nurses' station for me to fill, but not wait while I fill it and expect me to follow them with it back to the room. One day a patient can ambulate the entire length of the hall. I come back the next day, no change in condition but the commode is back in the room, sitting about 3 feet away from the actual toilet.
And people think they want single payer health care? They have no idea.
Not only that, but I've had patients call me to perform little tasks while perfectly able family members stand by. I've had family members bring a water bottle to the nurses' station for me to fill, but not wait while I fill it and expect me to follow them with it back to the room. One day a patient can ambulate the entire length of the hall. I come back the next day, no change in condition but the commode is back in the room, sitting about 3 feet away from the actual toilet.
And people think they want single payer health care? They have no idea.
Exactly, and not only do the family not assist the pt they call for the nurse to do things for them, ugh, yeah no entitlement there!
I'm just glad to have a better understanding of why many of my immigrant patients always have so many family members all the time. I figured it was a close-knit family culture thing, but learned that it is also because of the expectations of patients/families in many other countries.
For the 'entitlement' ones, getting asked by visitors to throw away trash..... ?
I'm just glad to have a better understanding of why many of my immigrant patients always have so many family members all the time. I figured it was a close-knit family culture thing, but learned that it is also because of the expectations of patients/families in many other countries.
For the 'entitlement' ones, getting asked by visitors to throw away trash..... ?
That would be great if all those family members actually helped the pt, (and I dont just mean immigrant families), my experience is they only make situations worse, not helping but instead complaining, and hanging around all day physically in the way, it is sometimes like a maze trying to do anything, i have had people bring in lawn chairs and set up camp.
Yeah, i have had families bring in their own fast food, drinks, snacks etc and just leave the trash all over the room, even with a trash can nearby.
That would be great if all those family members actually helped the pt, (and I dont just mean immigrant families), my experience is they only make situations worse, not helping but instead complaining, and hanging around all day physically in the way, it is sometimes like a maze trying to do anything, i have had people bring in lawn chairs and set up camp.
Overall, maybe I have a better experience with family visitors. They often take care of lots of the needs of the patients. I tend to "let" them take their family member to the bathroom. They feed the family members. Bathe them. Provide love and attention. Translate if needed.
Sure, some families are more "demanding" than others. But, often "demanding" it is because our system has put in place mandatory dependence. Medications are on our schedule, not theirs. Our hospital doesn't have microwaves for family use (or water fountains). Rooms are not all private. Linens, clothing, towels and supplies out of reach. Many of the things we'd all have free access to at home leave the patients/family at the "mercy" of the staff to supply them.
At least some understanding of a woman who was only 48 hours post surgical after a hysto done in a strange county-hormones bouncing, in pain and emotions running the full gamut. I had hoped my fellow nurses would understand these things might, just might have an impact on the tone and tenor of her post and cut her a little slack.
Perhaps with her first post Charlee but she shot herself in the foot when she got snotty. You’ve been here long enough to know the kind of reaction that gets. Why wasn’t her boyfriend holding her hand? Why didn’t he help her to the bathroom? She moved to a strange country to be with him. I think her anger is misdirected or the nurses are a safer target for it.
At least some understanding of a woman who was only 48 hours post surgical after a hysto done in a strange county-hormones bouncing, in pain and emotions running the full gamut. I had hoped my fellow nurses would understand these things might, just might have an impact on the tone and tenor of her post and cut her a little slack.
That would be true if you were on the job taking care of her, but no one here owes her anything. And I don't care what a person is going through, they don't have the right to treat others that way in a web forum and expect kindness in return.
Specializes in Psych, Corrections, Med-Surg, Ambulatory.
11 minutes ago, juniper222 said:
That would be true if you were on the job taking care of her, but no one here owes her anything. And I don't care what a person is going through, they don't have the right to treat others that way in a web forum and expect kindness in return.
Exactly. The whole point of this forum is that we're not at work and we can blow off steam with one another. It would be interesting if the OP were to weigh in after a few days when she is feeling better. Maybe her viewpoint has changed.
I think the responses to her were still measured. I would be even more blunt if a family member was voicing such unrealistic complaints.
Exactly. The whole point of this forum is that we're not at work and we can blow off steam with one another. It would be interesting if the OP were to weigh in after a few days when she is feeling better. Maybe her viewpoint has changed.
I think the responses to her were still measured. I would be even more blunt if a family member was voicing such unrealistic complaints.
If the OP apologized for those statements, I would be okay with that. I understand no one is perfect. Lord knows I've done some silly things.
Daisy4RN
2,238 Posts
From what I have been told (by those who have personal experience), pts in the hospital almost always have a family/friend that can help, those who truly dont have to figure it out, maybe pay someone to bring food, supplies etc some have even had other pts assist them or slip staff a few bucks to do it. IMO, pts in the US don't get assistance from family/friends because they dont have to.