Terrible experience with nursing staff

[guest1074638]

I'm going through a really rough time and I'm not sure this is the best place to put this post but I guess I need someone to hear me.

I moved to Brazil in 2019 and, short story, I had an urgent hysterectomy (open abdominal) 2 days ago. The nursing staff at the hospital here were extremely indifferent toward me. I was very frightened before the surgery and was crying, nobody held my hand or told me it would be okay. They only talked to me to tell me to move this way, put my arm here, etc. 1 day postop I tried to ambulate to the bathroom (no one would help me) and fainted, hitting my face on the bathroom floor (currently have a black eye and bruised cheekbone). I woke up and yelled "help, help!" about 10-15 times before anyone came, finally it was my boyfriend who woke up and came to help me. The nurses stood there sucking their teeth and saying they can't believe I did this as he helped me back to bed. No one examined me afterwards, looked at my face, or even asked if I had symptoms.

The doctor came shortly after that and said I could go home, and you could believe I got out of there as fast as I could. The doctor only sent me home with ketoprofen. For an open abdominal surgery. I am currently using old prescriptions of zofran and hydrocodone I brought with me from the states.

My feelings are so hurt at being treated like this. I would never in my life let a patient fall. I would never let a patient sit in bed and cry. I have always made sure to tell my patients to call me if they feel anxious, upset, or need to talk. I hold my patients' hands and say I am here for you.

I feel like these nurses hated me. My boyfriend, who is Brazilian, says this is normal here. He says it is his fault for letting me fall because the family is supposed to do all the patient care, the nurses are just there to give medication. I am beyond offended at this idea, that nurses are just pill pushers. I am having a lot of second thoughts about living in a place where anyone would act like this, to me it's just common decency.

I was discharged to home yesterday and honestly terrified of having complications and having to go back to the hospital. I also feel like I need to find out what the governing body is for hospitals here and file a complaint against these people.

[Wuzzie]

To expand on my earlier comment it wouldn’t surprise me in the least if the person she’s really ****** at is her boyfriend for being so inattentive or herself for moving to a foreign country to be with said inattentive boyfriend. We are just safer for her to blow up at.

[AlwaysLearning247, BSN]

I am sorry that happened to you. It sounds like you’re in an undeveloped part of the world and they do things differently there. If I were in your situation, I’d probably be running back home. Hope you feel better soon.

[TriciaJ, RN]

On 2/18/2020 at 8:15 PM, Wuzzie said:

To expand on my earlier comment it wouldn’t surprise me in the least if the person she’s really ****** at is her boyfriend for being so inattentive or herself for moving to a foreign country to be with said inattentive boyfriend. We are just safer for her to blow up at.

It would probably be easier to tell the folks back home how terrible the health care system is, rather than that the boyfriend didn't quite pan out.

[Kooky Korky, BSN, RN]

13 hours ago, Wuzzie said:

Why? Because they didn't hold her hand? Or because they didn't respond to her calls? If it's the latter considering her boyfriend was in the same room and didn't hear her maybe the staff didn't either. You can't sue them for having a different culture.

Why? Because I would like to know who should have held her had. And why they didn't respond to her calls. And is there liability sihce she fell.

Maybe she can sue because they didn't make procedures clear to her and got hurt as a result.

[kp2016]

I have taken travel nurse RN jobs in several foreign countries. It is culturally normal in a lot of countries outside the US for family to provide all the personal support and TLC, holding a patients hand, reassuring them and even taking them to the bathroom is the job of family members. Nurses generally only assist if you require a bedpan.

I’ve noticed that health care professionals in a lot of countries have the perception that Americans think our education is superior and our standards are higher and are therefore very sensitive to any perceived criticism. I don’t think reporting the staff will achieve anything that will benefit you or help you feel better. I would suggest you focus on your recovery and try and let the negative feels go.

[TriciaJ, RN]

48 minutes ago, Kooky Korky said:

Maybe she can sue because they didn't make procedures clear to her and got hurt as a result.

Maybe. But I don't believe other countries (especially poorer ones) enjoy the same lucrative lawsuit market that exists in the US. I think it would be a long shot at best, most likely time, money and energy down the drain.

I think the OP would better spend her energy healing from her surgery first. That takes a good four weeks or more. See how the boyfriend behaves during that time. See what the follow-up care is like. See what else to appreciate or dislike about living in Brazil. Then reevaluate the whole situation.

Chasing lawsuits is a good way to create more negativity.

[Hoosier_RN, MSN]

1 hour ago, Kooky Korky said:

Why? Because I would like to know who should have held her had. And why they didn't respond to her calls. And is there liability sihce she fell.

Maybe she can sue because they didn't make procedures clear to her and got hurt as a result.

Since it's another country, I'm not sure she could sue. With different cultural requirements, it sounds as if she is receiving the standard for that country.

I've travelled outside of the US. The things we take for granted here are usually not even a thought in other countries, especially developing nations

[Hoosier_RN, MSN]

31 minutes ago, TriciaJ said:

Maybe. But I don't believe other countries (especially poorer ones) enjoy the same lucrative lawsuit market that exists in the US. I think it would be a long shot at best, most likely time, money and energy down the drain.

I think the OP would better spend her energy healing from her surgery first. That takes a good four weeks or more. See how the boyfriend behaves during that time. See what the follow-up care is like. See what else to appreciate or dislike about living in Brazil. Then reevaluate the whole situation.

Chasing lawsuits is a good way to create more negativity.

100%

[Horseshoe, BSN, RN]

3 hours ago, Kooky Korky said:

Why? Because I would like to know who should have held her had. And why they didn't respond to her calls. And is there liability sihce she fell.

Maybe she can sue because they didn't make procedures clear to her and got hurt as a result.

It's been stated more than once that in that country, as in many countries apparently, it is the family who takes on the majority of "care" such as helping someone to the bathroom and "holding the patient's hand" (and I would submit that due to the typical nurse to patient ratio, most US nurses don't have the time that would allow for the kind of emotional support the OP was craving). Even here in the good ole US, "hand holding" is usually the job of the family members. That is exactly why we usually allow one or two family members to come into the pre-op holding areas in US hospitals and surgery centers.

I don't know how much world traveling you have done, but many countries are quite disdainful of what a litigious society the US has become. Additionally, the OP states she fell, but what substantial injuries did she sustain? Just falling, even in the US, isn't as lucrative as you might believe if there are no permanent or serious injuries. Suffering a black eye and a bruised cheekbone is not an outcome I'd want for my patient, but that doesn't make them serious or permanent injuries. There is a kind of naivete here about how easy it is to recover enough damages to make going through a lawsuit worth it in terms of the tremendous amount of stress and time involved.

And finally, you don't think it's at all odd that the OP's boyfriend was right there in the room with her when she fell and it took yelling over "10-15 times" at the top of her lungs for the BOYFRIEND to hear her and come to her aid? Something is off about that, I don't care if it was 3 in the morning.

Thinking that US standards (whether they be cultural or professional or legal) can or should be universally applied is ethnocentric and not just a little arrogant.

[Wuzzie]

4 hours ago, Kooky Korky said:

Because I would like to know who should have held her had.

Her boyfriend! The one that was right there in the room.

[Wuzzie]

5 hours ago, TriciaJ said:

It would probably be easier to tell the folks back home how terrible the health care system is, rather than that the boyfriend didn't quite pan out.

Ain't that the truth.

[Wuzzie]

6 hours ago, Kooky Korky said:

Why? Because I would like to know who should have held her had. And why they didn't respond to her calls.

So sue them because they have a different culture and a different medical culture? Maybe she should sue her boyfriend for disregarding her calls for help when he knew it was expected of him to care for her. Maybe we should send people there to teach them the American way of doing things.?

Sorry KK. I'm really not trying to be contentious but her obvious disdain for the people in the country she chose to move to really rubs me the wrong way. I would have been more sympathetic if she approached this from an "I was terrified to have major surgery in a foreign country because it's very different" and not described the natives as "these people" who "stood around sucking their teeth" perhaps she would have garnered more sympathy from the members. Of course I'm sorry it happened but I have to think that the attitude she has displayed here was likely displayed there and may have played a role in the events that occurred. Not to mention her cultural ignorance. Now she wants to turn them in to a "governing body"?