Talk about turkeys? - Share Your Favorite Thanksgiving Stories

[tnbutterfly - Mary, BSN]

With Thanksgiving in a few days, let's talk about turkeys. Feel free to share your turkey jokes and stories.

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[Farawyn]

Okay, well...

One day I was making a turkey- this was actually Christmas and not Thanksgiving, but it was still a turkey. I took the turkey outside the oven to "rest' and was heading upstairs to make some room for the upcoming meal...

Suddenly, a shot rang out!

My son Ralphie, who most certainly did not shoot himself in the eye with his new Red Ryder Daisy Air Rifle with a compass and this thing that tells time, ran inside crying that a giant icicle fell off the garage and hurt his eye! Those icicles have been known to KILL people!

I took him upstairs to wash off his eye, while the Old Man read his funnies and eyeballed the turkey.

(I saw a gleam in his eye and told him to leave the turkey alone, as it still had a half hour to cook, and he could get worms. Again.)

Just as we were finishing cleaning Ralphie's wound with Lifebouy soap, a cacophony of barking and yelling and hillbilly music erupted from down below.. The Bumpuses' Dogs!!!

I ran downstairs in time to hear the Old Man bleating "Sonsabiiiikches,,,Bumpuses!" after the last departing hound, who was running out the broken screen door with a drumstick in his mouth.

The heavenly aroma still hung in the house. But it was gone, all gone! No turkey! No turkey sandwiches! No turkey salad! No turkey gravy! Turkey Hash! Turkey a la King! Or gallons of turkey soup! Gone, ALL GONE!

OH FUDGE!

We ended up going to out local Chinese Place for dinner and sang rousing chorus after chorus of Jingle Bells.

We still talk about that turkey to this day...

[Dogen]

Ahaha... that was awesome. 

[quiltynurse56, LPN, LVN]

One Thanksgiving, I had the turkey all prepared and stuffed, put it in the one and once there for a short time, the power went off. Information we received said it would be at least 2 hours to be back on. Well, that was so very unacceptable as we tend to put ours in in the late morning to eat around 5 or so. Off to the only place that seemed to open for meals other than the fast food places. Oh my, the turkey there was good, but not the potatoes or dressing. While I probably shouldn't have, after we got back home and after the power came back on, I went ahead and cooked it and put it all in the refrigerator to eat the next day. Thankfully, no one got sick off of it. Don't want to relive that Thanksgiving again.

[ktwlpn, LPN]

My family celebrates a second Christmas in July( always the third weekend) I make a traditional turkey dinner,hubby puts up a few strings of lights...We have a blast.The funny thing is we never have traditional Turkey on Thanksgiving(it's steaks on the grill,enchiladas or lasagna,etc)

[Ruby Vee, BSN]

DH and I had been dating about a year, and were both working Thanksgiving, and as usual, he signed up to bring the Thanksgiving turkey to the work potluck. We decided to have our own Thanksgiving on Wednesday -- we cooked a small turkey and invited friends over for "Thanksgiving" dinner. A great time was had by all, and much wine was consumed. My two golden retrievers got very lucky -- they got the turkey necks, some turkey fat and turkey gravy courtesy of the love of my life. He stayed over that night, and got up at midnight to put the 30 pound work turkey in the oven.

At 5 AM, when I got up to get ready for work my beloved was taking the work turkey out of the oven, and by the time we left for work he had carved it, arranged the slices attractively on a platter and disposed of the carcass. We had a wonderful potluck at work. I went home alone that night, my loved one went to his own house.

As I was driving up my driveway, which was a short but steep hill, I noticed that there was something leaking out from under the garage door and trickling down the driveway. With visions of sinks overflowing or water heaters bursting, I ran into the house and opened the door into the garage only to be bowled over by my goldens trying to get OUT of the garage and out the back door. There was no sink overflowing and the water heater was intact. What there WAS? Liquid stool from about hip height and trickling down, 365 degrees around the garage and trickling under the garage door to run down the driveway. It took me most of the night to clean it up.

My dear one had given the dogs all the turkey fat from BOTH turkeys -- they were hungry, they were begging, they deserved a treat. All that turkey fat had a predictable effect on their GI tracts, and the two of them must have been in profound agony before they gave up and pooped inside. Their must have been projectile diarrhea -- the whole garage was painted with it. I'm just glad I put them in the garage when I left for work -- imagine that all over the HOUSE!

When I got to work the next morning, my honey was standing by the front desk, all chipper and happy. "Good morning," he gushed. "And how did you sleep?"

All I could think of to say was "You sonofabitch." I was too angry to tell him why I was angry.

The folks in that unit are still talking about my demented husband giving the dogs all the turkey skin and fat from 50 pounds of turkeys and then leaving me to clean up the results. That story would get trotted out for every holiday potluck that even had the possibility of including a turkey, and I think he was glad to leave that job because he had hopes of leaving that story behind!

[poppycat, ADN, BSN]

Hahahaha, Ruby Vee! The story got "trotted" out!

[poppycat, ADN, BSN]

I just have one question: what is this "cooking" to which you all refer?

[Davey Do]

Well, one Thanksgiving, I was talking with this Old Buzzard, and he says to me...

[jadelpn, LPN, EMT-B]

A turkey, a chicken and a duck walk into a bar...

Hope you all have a wonderful gathering!!

I am cooking a turkey, but I do not eat turkey....so I broil a steak!! LOL

[twinmommy+2, ADN, BSN, MSN]

On the last Thanksgiving with my Grandmother, she was in hospice care for lung cancer and on a G-tube. Luckily for the rest of the family she was sat down next to me, the new nurse for the turkey dinner. As we are all diving into turkey and gravy and while I have a good portion on my fork getting ready to enter my waiting mouth, she starts in on her tube feeding and announces to the clan that she is leaking around her tube while hiking her shirt up over her head to make sure we all saw exactly what she was talking about. It looked like she was trying to shove the gravy into her G-tube. I loved her to death but that is a gift that keeps giving every Thanksgiving when I eat turkey.

[Farawyn]

This Thanksgiving, I've been stressed. Davey Do and No Stars chipped in and got me a Spa Day.

Imagine my surprise when I was plucked, trussed and rubbed all over with butter! (Best Spa Day ever!)

(Thanksgiving is about being thankful- Thanks, friends!)