Time to don the fireproof underwear. It is 0500 and the reality alarm clock is ringing, and some people do not like to hear it go off. So whether you agree with me or not, I feel it is time to inject a little thought provoking ideas into your life.
I am sure I am about to get flamed for posting this, but I feel the need to anyways. I have been seeing these threads talking about bullying and teachers or preceptors hating the students, and new nurses or abusing them because of some perceived slight or injustice. Well guess what?
The world is a hard cold nasty place that does not need to be polite to you or worry whether your feelings got hurt and you feel offended. You need to grow up and realize that the abuse that you claim is rampant, or the bullying that you experience all the time is not their problem, but rather your problem.
I see so many posts about this and I wonder how some of these people have survived as long as they have. School is tough? Deal with it. You think that someone else is getting it easier? Well too bad, they may be but no one ever promised you everything would be fair. You have to learn that there is inequality in life. It's how you overcome that inequality that matters. It teaches perseverance.
Abusive teachers? Maybe they are trying to get the best in you to come out. What you think is abuse maybe is pushing you to your limits, to get you further along in your potential. So your feelings got hurt at school, grow up, feelings get hurt every day.
Your preceptor is unorganized and does not like you and bad mouths you to your manager, and all your patients love you but no one at the hospital sees how great you really are?
Well your preceptor may actually have great time management skill, but when having to slow down and teach someone their job, things do tend to get disorganized. You may be part of the blame there.
Did you ever stop to think that you are the proverbial monkey wrench in a well oiled machine? The need to teach you, and I realize you do need to learn, can be very time consuming. They may tell your manager that you need improving or that you are not advancing fast enough. They may be all smiles to you, because they want to support you and keep you positive, but they need to tell the manager how you really are.
Speaking of orientation, how often have I seen statements that say the other nurses are not supportive and will not answer questions. Have you ever thought that maybe you are asking TOO MANY questions?
After a bit it may seem that you are not retaining the info provided and everyone gets tired of answering the same questions over and over. Part of learning is knowing when to shut your mouth and just watch. It has been said by people wiser than me that the only question you should ask is the question that you already know the answer to. If that does not make sense to you, think about it for a while and you might just be surprised that a light comes on.
So basically what i am saying is grow up and act like the adult that you are. Life is not fair, school is not fair, work is not fair. You just have to learn to deal with it.
So. We're back to the old "Nurses eat their young" thing. I have found that this occurance is declining where I work. The great techniques and skilled practice accompanied by wisdom bourne of experience shared with GNs increases their skill and greatly decreases my own workload. Be kind be encouraging share your knowledge. Don't " eat your young". Besides, GNs are very bad for you...full of caffeine and carbohydrates. Virtually no nutritional value.:***:
My issue is that there is a nurse bullying culture out there and hospitals need to address it. When a hospital addresses the situation, then improvement can happen. I noticed that when the work environment is stressful, then it is not conducive to new grads.
Not blaming Ruby or Kyrshamarks for their opinion. I have a very different opinion. I have had to undo all sorts of misadventures due to preceptor relationships. That is where I come from. You can't fix the parenting, friends, or school the orientees have had in the past. You can only start where you are and they are. Should the orientee think before opening the mouth? Yes. Should the preceptor? Yes. I really think it matters when people are grumpy with new hires. It does effect turn over because many people remark about the atmosphere on a unit when they leave. And they do leave in a few months often times when they feel unhappy or unaccepted. Some of them are not well suited, but some aren't given a fair chance. I think some people are good nurses and mediocre or poor preceptors. I don't think a facility should be forcing people to be preceptors. I know some do, but again, my opinion, it is a mistake. Maybe some people who are forced to be preceptors need to negotiate to be paired with more experienced new hires or focus their teaching on certain skills they enjoy, for example. I get frustrated when people insist on being preceptors and treat the new hires in a way that they would never tolerate being treated. One nurse got very irrate with people who stapled the prenatals incorrectly. Not in the incorrect order, but with the staple not slanted. Wasting time and emotion on that kind of thing is garbage. Not everyone is going to be an NP, CRNA, CNM, etc. God only knows, we need some people to stay at the bedside long term, so we do want them to get to love it. Again, just my opinion.
If you are in a position to change that--do you? Meaning if you are attempting to undo all of the garabage that surrounds these relationships is that nurse no longer allowed to precept?
In other words, the staple position becomes much less of an issue when one can get reprimanded for even making that an issue.
Nothing is going to change until managers step up and have no tolerance for garbage. Period.
I thought it was a misspelling of the word 'catty'?
AND I thought it was a new little ditty reference to some sort of "we are all in this together" concept....like "you have to be a caddy before you can swing a club" or "we endevour to get a hole in one!!" ..."don't ever be over par".....AND on that note, I need coffee.....
I have told people that unfortunately, they can't precept anymore OR have been very careful who to pair together if things are tight. The staple lady was never be put with a young new grad or someone who is reserved or shy. The educator before me, had her precepting several times a year. I am not sure how I missed being oriented by her. She must have been with someone else when I was new. It isn't much of an issue now, because she and her stapler have retired. Many times, she would tell me about paperwork infractions and I would tell her that I could care less, which is the truth. The offenders did not even have to be orientees, they could be other staff. She was a preceptor for years. She was very knowledgeable, but ridiculously petty. Most people realized how ridiculous her obsession with the paperwork was, but she could be very cruel about it. A person could benefit from her expertise, BUT they had to have a very thick skin to tolerate her. She could show people certain skills, like IV starts. Another rather caustic person was very good with some of the GYN teaching, but hated most other tasks, so people were put with her when there were these type of patients. These two were told about their attitudes and they were also given credit for what they were very good at doing.
toomuchbaloney
16,029 Posts
Some people are bullies.
Some people are victims.
Sometimes those two groups get together in the workplace.
Victims without bullies are just sad people with no control over their lives (in their opinion).
Bullies without victims are just mean self centered people with poor interpersonal skills who back off when they encounter folks who are not victims.