Time to don the fireproof underwear. It is 0500 and the reality alarm clock is ringing, and some people do not like to hear it go off. So whether you agree with me or not, I feel it is time to inject a little thought provoking ideas into your life.
I am sure I am about to get flamed for posting this, but I feel the need to anyways. I have been seeing these threads talking about bullying and teachers or preceptors hating the students, and new nurses or abusing them because of some perceived slight or injustice. Well guess what?
The world is a hard cold nasty place that does not need to be polite to you or worry whether your feelings got hurt and you feel offended. You need to grow up and realize that the abuse that you claim is rampant, or the bullying that you experience all the time is not their problem, but rather your problem.
I see so many posts about this and I wonder how some of these people have survived as long as they have. School is tough? Deal with it. You think that someone else is getting it easier? Well too bad, they may be but no one ever promised you everything would be fair. You have to learn that there is inequality in life. It's how you overcome that inequality that matters. It teaches perseverance.
Abusive teachers? Maybe they are trying to get the best in you to come out. What you think is abuse maybe is pushing you to your limits, to get you further along in your potential. So your feelings got hurt at school, grow up, feelings get hurt every day.
Your preceptor is unorganized and does not like you and bad mouths you to your manager, and all your patients love you but no one at the hospital sees how great you really are?
Well your preceptor may actually have great time management skill, but when having to slow down and teach someone their job, things do tend to get disorganized. You may be part of the blame there.
Did you ever stop to think that you are the proverbial monkey wrench in a well oiled machine? The need to teach you, and I realize you do need to learn, can be very time consuming. They may tell your manager that you need improving or that you are not advancing fast enough. They may be all smiles to you, because they want to support you and keep you positive, but they need to tell the manager how you really are.
Speaking of orientation, how often have I seen statements that say the other nurses are not supportive and will not answer questions. Have you ever thought that maybe you are asking TOO MANY questions?
After a bit it may seem that you are not retaining the info provided and everyone gets tired of answering the same questions over and over. Part of learning is knowing when to shut your mouth and just watch. It has been said by people wiser than me that the only question you should ask is the question that you already know the answer to. If that does not make sense to you, think about it for a while and you might just be surprised that a light comes on.
So basically what i am saying is grow up and act like the adult that you are. Life is not fair, school is not fair, work is not fair. You just have to learn to deal with it.
Specializes in OR, Nursing Professional Development.
Wouldn't that apply to the unwilling preceptors as well? Every job includes tasks no one wants. No nurse comes out of school knowing everything, therefore someone has to train the newbies.
you totally corrupted the meaning of that quote, try some other way to get your point across instead of taking a fairly well known quote and changing its meaning.
Wow, not even going to get started on the whole gender neutral thing.
I have held off responding here for a bit to see how the responses are flowing, and I must say they are going just as I thought the would. I know that a few of the posts were close to personal attacks on me and my abilities (or lack there of per a few people), but you know what? I am not threatened or feel bullied by those posts because I can get over it. I know my skills and abilities, where I come from, which is a low class place, and I am proud of that. Yes obviously I eat my young and spit out their bones and then crush their spirit underfoot and evilly laugh the whole time. I bully everyone to get my own way and think nothing of how they might feel, and could careless for how they might be sensitive and shy. I am a terrible parent who makes my kids suffer and am bossy and a know it all who hates any questions at all. I have no real professionalism and my degrees ( all 3 bachelors) are from a no good little podunk schools who just deal with white trash waitresses...in my case waiter since I am a dude. I cannot speak in flowery language. I am a preceptor from hell who delights in tormenting my trainees.
Yep, that pretty much sums up me. At least from a few posters here.
Oh and my statement about questions still stands. It was answered earlier, but I guess I need to explain it further. Before opening your mouth to ask a question, THINK CRITICALLY. Use your eyes first, then think about what you are going to ask. Is it something I can look up and see for myself? have I seen it before? What supplies do I think I will need? then when you have formulated the answer in your mind, ask the question to get confirmation of your answer, or then again maybe you had the wrong answer to start with and now you know that. Just to ask a question to have someone else tell you the answer is not a good way of learning. You must seek the answers yourself and and get validation for your answers. Now questions like where is something located on the unit and where is the bathroom are valid questions but I should not have to tell you the answers multiple times.
So again flame away...
p.s I have had a career before this thing called nursing, I have run a multi-million dollar business, and some of my writings have been published. My two kids are well adjusted adults and I am the easiest going person you could ever meet. i really don't stress over very much.
Ruby, you are wrong; by definition nurses ARE teachers.
To all of those who say things such as "I wouldn't want YOU as a preceptor" or "If you don't like teaching, DON'T precept" or "I only want a preceptor who will blow rainbows up my skirt and spoonfeed me everything I want to know":
Nurses are nurses, we aren't teachers and we aren't all up on the latest education theory. In fact, some preceptors got absolutely NO training at all. None. Many weren't asked if they wanted to precept and were given no choice about it. Some have asked management -- begged management -- not to make them precept and they have to do it anyway. Some preceptors are really good teachers, great at constructive criticism and endlessly patient. Some aren't. It would be nice if every orientee got that perfect preceptor whose teaching style meshed with their learning style and who met their definition of "nice" and never lost patience or made a snarky comment. However, perfect preceptors are rare -- you're going to have to make do with the preceptor you get. It will probably be a regular human being, not that perfect person you were hoping for. It might even be someone who hates precepting but has to do it anyway.
New grads have a lot to learn, and contrary to popular belief, you can learn it from a horrible preceptor who hates teaching, especially if you have a good attitude and learn to think critically. While the OP's statement "never ask a question you don't know the answer to" was rather obscure (I didn't get it until he explained it), he's absolutely right. Never ask a question without at least thinking it through (or looking it up) first. Even questions like "where is the bathroom" and "what's the number for blood bank", while legitimate questions, are only legitimate the first 10 times or so you ask them.
We have 25 new nurses coming on board this summer. Everyone who has ever had to renew their license and still has the ability to draw breath will be precepting, whether they like it or not. There may be plenty who don't like it, but they have to deal with it. So can you.
Specializes in Peds/outpatient FP,derm,allergy/private duty.
It sucks that you have to be a preceptor whether you want to or not. That may be part of why you have so many new grads coming. I realize that you cannot have a perfect preceptor. There is a huge difference between being condescending and snarky and being disorganized when you have a person asking a lot of questions. If you have people doing precepting who don't want to or are unsuitable, that makes for high turnover.
It is a different generation of nurse for better or worse. That is a fact. They do not feel that they have to stay somewhere where they are miserable and feel unwelcome. Back in the 1980's, we expected to put up with being treated as a lower being for the first few months or even years in nursing. It doesn't fly now. You are right. People can learn from bad preceptors. They can learn clinical skills and also sometimes, really unprofessional behaviors. I suppose all you can do is carry on when you your management doesn't care. They must like the cost of turnover and turmoil. It isn't like we don't have enough turmoil with all of the changes in healthcare right now.
I appreciate where you are coming from (an expression that will instantly date me to the seventies when I was first licensed :-)) but I do disagree with your assessment of what things were like before and what they are like now.
I never expected to be treated like a lower human being for months or years. I never was treated like a lower human being, either. Sometimes I wonder if there is a connection between the two. I was never cast in the role of a handmaiden or required to give up my chair for a doctor (just to dispel a couple more myths at least in my case).
My opinion. . .I didn't have a preceptor. I had classroom orientation and was a assigned a "buddy" when I got on the floor. Interns had preceptors, and expectations for preceptor and preceptee were well-understood. When nursing adopted the title the role was anything but defined and it still isn't or we wouldn't be having thread after thread of misunderstanding and conflict.
The shifting of hands-on skills training from nursing schools to hospitals with resulting time and expense layered on top of an arbitrary preceptor structure made the real hash of things.
Finally, it was a lot easier to "walk" and head for greener pastures back then than it is now due to the relative scarcity of new grad positions these days. I think unless that changes the rancor we see expressed here is likely to continue, unfortunately.
I appreciate where you are coming from (an expression that will instantly date me to the seventies when I was first licensed :-)) but I do disagree with your assessment of what things were like before and what they are like now.
I never expected to be treated like a lower human being for months or years. I never was treated like a lower human being, either. Sometimes I wonder if there is a connection between the two. I was never cast in the role of a handmaiden or required to give up my chair for a doctor (just to dispel a couple more myths at least in my case).
My opinion. . .I didn't have a preceptor. I had classroom orientation and was a assigned a "buddy" when I got on the floor. Interns had preceptors, and expectations for preceptor and preceptee were well-understood. When nursing adopted the title the role was anything but defined and it still isn't or we wouldn't be having thread after thread of misunderstanding and conflict.
Were we in the same nursing class? LOL because that was my experience, too.
I have long had the belief that if one's behavior is one that exacts or even demands respect, you are much more likely to get it. I knew nurses who were afraid to wake docs in the middle of the night. My premise was: It's my job to let you know this, and it's your job to get outta bed and come help me fix things. Good bye.
I will add, that in nursing school (graduated 1976) one of our instructors did expect us to give up chairs for doctors, but as am employed RN, I never did.
Specializes in Peds/outpatient FP,derm,allergy/private duty.
Were we in the same nursing class? LOL because that was my experience, too.
I think so, tnt! It was an interesting time in nursing due to the resurgent feminist movement, oh my! There would have been no giving up of chairs for doctors for me either . . .
Specializes in Oncology; medical specialty website.
Nurses may do teaching as part of their job, but that doesn't mean every nurse is suited to be a preceptor. It's far and away a different thing to do patient teaching and precept a new nurse. It's a difficult job; preceptees bemoan not getting positive feedback from their preceptors, but it is equally frustrating to put a lot of effort into teaching, only to hear your preceptee bad-mouthing you behind your back. Preceptors need love too.
Part of being a new nurse is being able to accept feedback, positive and negative. Someone may have been the top of the class and graduated with every award to be had, but that doesn't mean that individual doesn't need correction and guidance.
I'm sure Ruby can speak up for herself, but personally, I'm getting tired of the piling on that is happening both in this thread and in previous threads. I don't know Ruby personally, but I think she offers a lot of good advice for new nurses and not so new nurses.
Specializes in Oncology; medical specialty website.
I think so, tnt! It was an interesting time in nursing due to the resurgent feminist movement, oh my! There would have been no giving up of chairs for doctors for me either . . .
I remember when I was a student and an OB-GYN attending came in to the nurse's station looking for a place to chart. I got up right away (which is what we were taught to do), and he said, "No, no, keep your seat. You work hard too."
Not blaming Ruby or Kyrshamarks for their opinion. I have a very different opinion. I have had to undo all sorts of misadventures due to preceptor relationships. That is where I come from. You can't fix the parenting, friends, or school the orientees have had in the past. You can only start where you are and they are. Should the orientee think before opening the mouth? Yes. Should the preceptor? Yes. I really think it matters when people are grumpy with new hires. It does effect turn over because many people remark about the atmosphere on a unit when they leave. And they do leave in a few months often times when they feel unhappy or unaccepted. Some of them are not well suited, but some aren't given a fair chance. I think some people are good nurses and mediocre or poor preceptors. I don't think a facility should be forcing people to be preceptors. I know some do, but again, my opinion, it is a mistake. Maybe some people who are forced to be preceptors need to negotiate to be paired with more experienced new hires or focus their teaching on certain skills they enjoy, for example. I get frustrated when people insist on being preceptors and treat the new hires in a way that they would never tolerate being treated. One nurse got very irrate with people who stapled the prenatals incorrectly. Not in the incorrect order, but with the staple not slanted. Wasting time and emotion on that kind of thing is garbage. Not everyone is going to be an NP, CRNA, CNM, etc. God only knows, we need some people to stay at the bedside long term, so we do want them to get to love it. Again, just my opinion.
Hear is a great learning tool/av aide etc..worth "watching" -Glengary Glenross
Could give some folks a blueprint for developing that much needed self-preservation ideal in our harsh human endeavors. ..or-work on a construction job for a minute and you'll soon realize all else is gravy
Hear is a great learning tool/av aide etc..worth "watching" -Glengary Glenross
Could give some folks a blueprint for developing that much needed self-preservation ideal in our harsh human endeavors. ..or-work on a construction job for a minute and you'll soon realize all else is gravy
I'm quite sure that if you told your manager that you either did not want or did not feel fit for precepting, nearly every manager would avoid pairing an orientee with that person at all costs, for the sake of the orientee especially.
It was an interesting time in nursing due to the resurgent feminist movement, oh my! There would have been no giving up of chairs for doctors for me either . . .
WELL worth watching.
Rose_Queen, BSN, MSN, RN
6 Articles; 12,051 Posts
Hence the (and everyone else in the world).