Time to don the fireproof underwear. It is 0500 and the reality alarm clock is ringing, and some people do not like to hear it go off. So whether you agree with me or not, I feel it is time to inject a little thought provoking ideas into your life.
I am sure I am about to get flamed for posting this, but I feel the need to anyways. I have been seeing these threads talking about bullying and teachers or preceptors hating the students, and new nurses or abusing them because of some perceived slight or injustice. Well guess what?
The world is a hard cold nasty place that does not need to be polite to you or worry whether your feelings got hurt and you feel offended. You need to grow up and realize that the abuse that you claim is rampant, or the bullying that you experience all the time is not their problem, but rather your problem.
I see so many posts about this and I wonder how some of these people have survived as long as they have. School is tough? Deal with it. You think that someone else is getting it easier? Well too bad, they may be but no one ever promised you everything would be fair. You have to learn that there is inequality in life. It's how you overcome that inequality that matters. It teaches perseverance.
Abusive teachers? Maybe they are trying to get the best in you to come out. What you think is abuse maybe is pushing you to your limits, to get you further along in your potential. So your feelings got hurt at school, grow up, feelings get hurt every day.
Your preceptor is unorganized and does not like you and bad mouths you to your manager, and all your patients love you but no one at the hospital sees how great you really are?
Well your preceptor may actually have great time management skill, but when having to slow down and teach someone their job, things do tend to get disorganized. You may be part of the blame there.
Did you ever stop to think that you are the proverbial monkey wrench in a well oiled machine? The need to teach you, and I realize you do need to learn, can be very time consuming. They may tell your manager that you need improving or that you are not advancing fast enough. They may be all smiles to you, because they want to support you and keep you positive, but they need to tell the manager how you really are.
Speaking of orientation, how often have I seen statements that say the other nurses are not supportive and will not answer questions. Have you ever thought that maybe you are asking TOO MANY questions?
After a bit it may seem that you are not retaining the info provided and everyone gets tired of answering the same questions over and over. Part of learning is knowing when to shut your mouth and just watch. It has been said by people wiser than me that the only question you should ask is the question that you already know the answer to. If that does not make sense to you, think about it for a while and you might just be surprised that a light comes on.
So basically what i am saying is grow up and act like the adult that you are. Life is not fair, school is not fair, work is not fair. You just have to learn to deal with it.
I remember when I was prep courses to prepare for my SAT's, there was this one student in the class who identified as gender neutral. The student wanted to be referred to as hshe/it. I kid you not. Okay, that is fine, we respect everyone. The problem was, hshe/it got super hot anytime there was a question with a gender binary. ("If there are five men and seven women in the class, what is the ratio of men to women?") Hshe/it would declaim to the class that the questions were offensive and heteronormative, ostentatiously scratching out the terms on their paper and replacing them with their own pronouns. Should we respect hshe/it's gender orientation? Sure. But it never occurred to them that the teachers hadn't written the questions, so their real beef was with the SAT committee and the English language, not with us. Meantime the rest of us were rolling our eyes and hoping hshe/it would stop talking so we could learn and prepare for the SAT. It's an extreme example, but I often think of this person when I run into other complaining, entitled students. They spend more time demanding attention than they do learning, then wonder why they fail, why the administrators duck them when they go to complain about professors, and why they can't get anywhere.
Not to completely get off subject, however, with a child who is about to become a teacher (and I just can't help it...me the "white trash" with a master's prepared kid...WOW who would have thunk it?!?!?) there is a gigantic push for every classroom to become gender neutral. It is a parenting technique that is used by many, and the classrooms are following suit. No longer can the kids be refered to as "boys and girls, line up for snack".....AND it is points off their observation time should they refer to any child by gender. This has happend in many of the internships of a variety of schools that my child has had experiences in.
So, with this in mind (and it is not a new thing--) I can see how someone could be gender neutral, raised gender neutral, and be shocked that acedamia hadn't caught on.
Wow, not even going to get started on the whole gender neutral thing.
I have held off responding here for a bit to see how the responses are flowing, and I must say they are going just as I thought the would. I know that a few of the posts were close to personal attacks on me and my abilities (or lack there of per a few people), but you know what? I am not threatened or feel bullied by those posts because I can get over it. I know my skills and abilities, where I come from, which is a low class place, and I am proud of that. Yes obviously I eat my young and spit out their bones and then crush their spirit underfoot and evilly laugh the whole time. I bully everyone to get my own way and think nothing of how they might feel, and could careless for how they might be sensitive and shy. I am a terrible parent who makes my kids suffer and am bossy and a know it all who hates any questions at all. I have no real professionalism and my degrees ( all 3 bachelors) are from a no good little podunk schools who just deal with white trash waitresses...in my case waiter since I am a dude. I cannot speak in flowery language. I am a preceptor from hell who delights in tormenting my trainees.
Yep, that pretty much sums up me. At least from a few posters here.
Oh and my statement about questions still stands. It was answered earlier, but I guess I need to explain it further. Before opening your mouth to ask a question, THINK CRITICALLY. Use your eyes first, then think about what you are going to ask. Is it something I can look up and see for myself? have I seen it before? What supplies do I think I will need? then when you have formulated the answer in your mind, ask the question to get confirmation of your answer, or then again maybe you had the wrong answer to start with and now you know that. Just to ask a question to have someone else tell you the answer is not a good way of learning. You must seek the answers yourself and and get validation for your answers. Now questions like where is something located on the unit and where is the bathroom are valid questions but I should not have to tell you the answers multiple times.
So again flame away...
p.s I have had a career before this thing called nursing, I have run a multi-million dollar business, and some of my writings have been published. My two kids are well adjusted adults and I am the easiest going person you could ever meet. i really don't stress over very much.
Oh and my statement about questions still stands. It was answered earlier, but I guess I need to explain it further. Before opening your mouth to ask a question, THINK CRITICALLY. Use your eyes first, then think about what you are going to ask. Is it something I can look up and see for myself? have I seen it before? What supplies do I think I will need? then when you have formulated the answer in your mind, ask the question to get confirmation of your answer, or then again maybe you had the wrong answer to start with and now you know that. Just to ask a question to have someone else tell you the answer is not a good way of learning. You must seek the answers yourself and and get validation for your answers. Now questions like where is something located on the unit and where is the bathroom are valid questions but I should not have to tell you the answers multiple times.
Well, I did not think you were ever going to respond. Soo, with regard to your point about the question, I thought that is what you meant, to look something up and try, and I say that with empahsis, try to interpret. Ask the question to see if you are on the right or wrong track.
That is all good, but... What happens when a person goes to a resource that goes way over their head. I have done that so I speak from experience. Some things can be looked up, but the references can cause even more confusion. Does that warrant a question?? I mean the person put the effort in but for whatever reason still did not get it.
Kyrshamarks, You have a lot of accomplishments. It sounds like you are smart. You may be a fabulous nurse. I'd have to work with you to figure that one out. My opinion is that with from the comments you made here, I wouldn't be comfortable with you as a preceptor. We pay a differential for preceptor. I'd prefer to have the extra pay go to someone who is more effective in the role. Being knowledgeable isn't the only attribute of a good preceptor. Sometimes, the smartest and fastest can't slow down to teach someone else. It sounds like you aren't short of money given your past, so what does it matter? My big question to you is that if you dislike precepting people so much, why do it? I have had plenty of people say they don't want to do it, so we find someone else.
Wow, not even going to get started on the whole gender neutral thing.
I have held off responding here for a bit to see how the responses are flowing, and I must say they are going just as I thought the would. I know that a few of the posts were close to personal attacks on me and my abilities (or lack there of per a few people), but you know what? I am not threatened or feel bullied by those posts because I can get over it. I know my skills and abilities, where I come from, which is a low class place, and I am proud of that. Yes obviously I eat my young and spit out their bones and then crush their spirit underfoot and evilly laugh the whole time. I bully everyone to get my own way and think nothing of how they might feel, and could careless for how they might be sensitive and shy. I am a terrible parent who makes my kids suffer and am bossy and a know it all who hates any questions at all. I have no real professionalism and my degrees ( all 3 bachelors) are from a no good little podunk schools who just deal with white trash waitresses...in my case waiter since I am a dude. I cannot speak in flowery language. I am a preceptor from hell who delights in tormenting my trainees.
Yep, that pretty much sums up me. At least from a few posters here.
No idea who you are other than being the OP.
I think the idea of asking too many questions is ridiculous.
Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
To all of those who say things such as "I wouldn't want YOU as a preceptor" or "If you don't like teaching, DON'T precept" or "I only want a preceptor who will blow rainbows up my skirt and spoonfeed me everything I want to know":
Nurses are nurses, we aren't teachers and we aren't all up on the latest education theory. In fact, some preceptors got absolutely NO training at all. None. Many weren't asked if they wanted to precept and were given no choice about it. Some have asked management -- begged management -- not to make them precept and they have to do it anyway. Some preceptors are really good teachers, great at constructive criticism and endlessly patient. Some aren't. It would be nice if every orientee got that perfect preceptor whose teaching style meshed with their learning style and who met their definition of "nice" and never lost patience or made a snarky comment. However, perfect preceptors are rare -- you're going to have to make do with the preceptor you get. It will probably be a regular human being, not that perfect person you were hoping for. It might even be someone who hates precepting but has to do it anyway.
New grads have a lot to learn, and contrary to popular belief, you can learn it from a horrible preceptor who hates teaching, especially if you have a good attitude and learn to think critically. While the OP's statement "never ask a question you don't know the answer to" was rather obscure (I didn't get it until he explained it), he's absolutely right. Never ask a question without at least thinking it through (or looking it up) first. Even questions like "where is the bathroom" and "what's the number for blood bank", while legitimate questions, are only legitimate the first 10 times or so you ask them.
We have 25 new nurses coming on board this summer. Everyone who has ever had to renew their license and still has the ability to draw breath will be precepting, whether they like it or not. There may be plenty who don't like it, but they have to deal with it. So can you.
Everyone who has ever had to renew their license and still has the ability to draw breath will be precepting, whether they like it or not. There may be plenty who don't like it, but they have to deal with it. So can you.
So much this. Your preceptor may not want to be your preceptor, but they're going to live through it. You may not want your preceptor to be your preceptor, but you're going to live through it.
We all have to live with less-than-ideal situations in nursing. It's the nature of it. We're always going to be short on time, staff, supplies. Patience is not infinite, and the patients are going to get it before our colleagues and students. Are there bullies? Yes. But just because someone wasn't as nice to you as you'd like them to be doesn't make them a bully. And claiming they are just because you've been bullied in the past or because you believe NETY or someone else on AN was bullied isn't going to get you anywhere. Learn to deal with adversity wherever you find it and you'll eventually find less that's adverse.
It sucks that you have to be a preceptor whether you want to or not. That may be part of why you have so many new grads coming. I realize that you cannot have a perfect preceptor. There is a huge difference between being condescending and snarky and being disorganized when you have a person asking a lot of questions. If you have people doing precepting who don't want to or are unsuitable, that makes for high turnover.
It is a different generation of nurse for better or worse. That is a fact. They do not feel that they have to stay somewhere where they are miserable and feel unwelcome. Back in the 1980's, we expected to put up with being treated as a lower being for the first few months or even years in nursing. It doesn't fly now. You are right. People can learn from bad preceptors. They can learn clinical skills and also sometimes, really unprofessional behaviors. I suppose all you can do is carry on when you your management doesn't care. They must like the cost of turnover and turmoil. It isn't like we don't have enough turmoil with all of the changes in healthcare right now.
Specializes in OR, Nursing Professional Development.
It will probably be a regular human being, not that perfect person you were hoping for.
And these new hires/new grads (and everyone else in the world) should have learned how to deal with human beings from birth. No, not everyone is going to like you/be your friend. No, you aren't going to like everyone either. But learning how to work with/communicate with/learn from those you don't like/don't like you is a vital social skill.
Wouldn't that apply to the unwilling preceptors as well? Every job includes tasks no one wants. No nurse comes out of school knowing everything, therefore someone has to train the newbies.
Specializes in Oncology; medical specialty website.
It sucks that you have to be a preceptor whether you want to or not. That may be part of why you have so many new grads coming. I realize that you cannot have a perfect preceptor. There is a huge difference between being condescending and snarky and being disorganized when you have a person asking a lot of questions. If you have people doing precepting who don't want to or are unsuitable, that makes for high turnover.
It is a different generation of nurse for better or worse. That is a fact. They do not feel that they have to stay somewhere where they are miserable and feel unwelcome. Back in the 1980's, we expected to put up with being treated as a lower being for the first few months or even years in nursing. It doesn't fly now. You are right. People can learn from bad preceptors. They can learn clinical skills and also sometimes, really unprofessional behaviors. I suppose all you can do is carry on when you your management doesn't care. They must like the cost of turnover and turmoil. It isn't like we don't have enough turmoil with all of the changes in healthcare right now.
I believe Ruby has explained ad infinitum that a big part of the turnover on her unit is due to people jumping ship to go to school to be a CRNA.
I think it's unfair for people to lay the blame for new grad turnover at her feet, making the erroneous assumption that she's a bully to new grads. Based on her comments, I would love to have someone like Ruby as a preceptor if I were starting in a new specialty. When did being straightforward become a sin? We're adults; you don't get a sheet to put gold stars on in your orientation packet.
I was a new grad in '85. No one bullied me. Sometimes preceptors were stern, but when that happened, I deserved it. It didn't kill me.
jadelpn, LPN, EMT-B
9 Articles; 4,800 Posts
Not to completely get off subject, however, with a child who is about to become a teacher (and I just can't help it...me the "white trash" with a master's prepared kid...WOW who would have thunk it?!?!?) there is a gigantic push for every classroom to become gender neutral. It is a parenting technique that is used by many, and the classrooms are following suit. No longer can the kids be refered to as "boys and girls, line up for snack".....AND it is points off their observation time should they refer to any child by gender. This has happend in many of the internships of a variety of schools that my child has had experiences in.
So, with this in mind (and it is not a new thing--) I can see how someone could be gender neutral, raised gender neutral, and be shocked that acedamia hadn't caught on.
Just a little thought process...carry on....