Time to don the fireproof underwear. It is 0500 and the reality alarm clock is ringing, and some people do not like to hear it go off. So whether you agree with me or not, I feel it is time to inject a little thought provoking ideas into your life.
I am sure I am about to get flamed for posting this, but I feel the need to anyways. I have been seeing these threads talking about bullying and teachers or preceptors hating the students, and new nurses or abusing them because of some perceived slight or injustice. Well guess what?
The world is a hard cold nasty place that does not need to be polite to you or worry whether your feelings got hurt and you feel offended. You need to grow up and realize that the abuse that you claim is rampant, or the bullying that you experience all the time is not their problem, but rather your problem.
I see so many posts about this and I wonder how some of these people have survived as long as they have. School is tough? Deal with it. You think that someone else is getting it easier? Well too bad, they may be but no one ever promised you everything would be fair. You have to learn that there is inequality in life. It's how you overcome that inequality that matters. It teaches perseverance.
Abusive teachers? Maybe they are trying to get the best in you to come out. What you think is abuse maybe is pushing you to your limits, to get you further along in your potential. So your feelings got hurt at school, grow up, feelings get hurt every day.
Your preceptor is unorganized and does not like you and bad mouths you to your manager, and all your patients love you but no one at the hospital sees how great you really are?
Well your preceptor may actually have great time management skill, but when having to slow down and teach someone their job, things do tend to get disorganized. You may be part of the blame there.
Did you ever stop to think that you are the proverbial monkey wrench in a well oiled machine? The need to teach you, and I realize you do need to learn, can be very time consuming. They may tell your manager that you need improving or that you are not advancing fast enough. They may be all smiles to you, because they want to support you and keep you positive, but they need to tell the manager how you really are.
Speaking of orientation, how often have I seen statements that say the other nurses are not supportive and will not answer questions. Have you ever thought that maybe you are asking TOO MANY questions?
After a bit it may seem that you are not retaining the info provided and everyone gets tired of answering the same questions over and over. Part of learning is knowing when to shut your mouth and just watch. It has been said by people wiser than me that the only question you should ask is the question that you already know the answer to. If that does not make sense to you, think about it for a while and you might just be surprised that a light comes on.
So basically what i am saying is grow up and act like the adult that you are. Life is not fair, school is not fair, work is not fair. You just have to learn to deal with it.
Thinking that either the preceptor or the orientee is an angel is, of course, a mistake. Some people are hard to teach and some are hopeless. I know. Now take the deep breath...Some preceptors and some nurses are plain nasty. Many were treated badly as young nurses, so they pass it on. I guess they forget how bad it felt, maybe? Maybe they just can't wait to be queen? Is it good to be queen? I wouldn't know. I have been a nurse for 27 years. I remember what it was like to have the "initiation" and I have made a conscious effort not to become one of those territorial nurses who were so mean to me and so many others.
Some orientees are not bright and not motivated. Some are very timid. Some are so confident, I consider taking out extra life insurance in case they may one day be my nurse. Take a look in the mirror. As a unit educator, I cannot tell you how many times I had nurses complain about how awful an orientee was. Sometimes, they were right. That was rare. Usually, they forgot what it was like to be new and what they were like as a new nurse. Often, the nurse a few years out who "knows it all" was very green and unskilled. Luckily for most, their skills improve and they blossom clinically. Hopefully, they develop some compassion for the up and coming. Some do and many don't.
One of my former "bad" orientees is now a wonderful nurse I 'd be thrilled to have caring for anyone I know who is having a baby. She had a real problem, though. She was a new grad who wasn't perky or chatty and the "Barbie" crowd on the unit didn't like her. She was anlittle awkward, overweight, and shy. I was told she did not know what she was doing, etc. I followed her for a couple of days and was quite satisfied with her skills and her thinking through of situations. She was quiet and was taking it all in. Another gal who started at the same time was very energetic, right on, and vocal about it. I think the quieter nurse actually was more careful. Though both have turned out well. The "problem" nurse is definitely the better nurse. Another very slow disorganized person I precepted as a staff nurse is a great WHNP.
School is hard, but it isn't nearly as hard as real life in the hospital. It is a shock for some people. In fact, it is a shock for most. I hate to see how mean some people are about this and how short their memory is. As an experienced nurse, you have a lot to offer if you are inclined to be generous with your expertise and compassion. If you think that being "mean" to a person is productive, you are dead wrong. Intimidation is a major driver of mistakes in healthcare. You are teaching those new nurses not to question those who "know" what their doing.
Many don't get what this profession is supposed to be. We should care about other people. Those people include patients and each other. If you are at a point in life where you need to make another nurse cry or feel worthless to "teach" them something, kow that ll you are teaching them is what a nasty person you. They may strive to be you and continue the cycle. Maybe they will quit and then you can pick on someone else. Either way, you have screwed up the future. Congratulations for accomplishing NOTHING.
It feels great to give a pat on the back for the first IV successful IV or accurate vag exam. I don't want or need to know what it feels like to make someone cry because I am so hard on them. That is not the mark of a "great" teacher. Rather, it is the mark of a small person. It is frustrating to be a preceptor. I raised three daughters. That was pretty frustrating too and pretty damn awesome too. It is wonderful to see some of the nurses I have helped to teach thriving and growing in the profession. It is also ok to see some of the nurse it didn't work out for. I have always treated them with respect and never have to feel ashamed for being unkind in my role as coworker,educator, or preceptor.
If I am flaming you OP, I am sorry. I just think what you say is totally wrong.
But there ARE plenty of times when it is actual bullying. Even if the aggressor would like to call it constructive criticism...
Constructive criticism is private, discrete, and often documented if it is a repetitive or serious situation. What it isn't, is doled out behind the orientee's back, designed to induce fear or tears, or braodcast to the entire unit. As we often hear, some people don't accept criticism well. Some do not provide feedback or criticism as well either. There are a lot of bullies out there. It was accepted in nurses for years. many "victims" or objects of bullying scratched their way over to the other side to become bullies. That doesn't justify it.
I may get flamed for this, but I think most of the OP is crap. I think nursing tends to attract a lot insecure, "type A" personalities (who go on to precept unfortunately) and low class people who never held a professional title in their lives. They then become "drunk" on their new status as an RN (as if it they went to medical school... hah) and start throwing their weight around.
Youthful traditional BSN grads don't tend to fit into the bully stereotypes, I have noticed.. It's always fairly ignorant, undereducated former waitresses former CNAs, former babysitters, with a kid out of wedlock, who go to "get their RN" at CCs and never have any interest in furthering their education again, who act like bullies we encounter. They lived a life of being low class and getting pushed around. They become nurses and then think it's their turn.
AH, judgemental much? I find that a number of traditional, youthful BSN's can and do often have the attitude of "I am soooo much better than you ever will be cause I went to ________(insert some private college that costs 50 grand a year here) got a 4.2 GPA, my dreammmmm is to be a CRNA...so I will leave all of the touching patient stuff to you trailer trash types, cause ya'll are used to sweaty, nasty, stinky people and half are probs your relatives. So don't talk to me, I am above you."
I was fortunate when I was raised. My choices did not always meld with the in crowd. I find it too funny that as an LPN I am often considered "white trash". I am not one with sharing my life outside of the hospital with my life inside the doors.
If one was ignorant, raising a child alone, I am not sure one would even have the time nor resources to go to college for a degree. But people do. And succeed. People have to work, and I bet that there are many, many RN's who were once waitressing, were CNA's, babysitters....not everyone is fortunate enough to have Mommy and Daddy take care of them until they are 21.
But it again begs the question--if a nurse has a shady past, or their pasture is green and full of rainbows doesn't matter--what does is why managment continues to keep nurses employed who are so over the top that patient's needs are not being met (I mean medical needs, not the "go fetch me a drink" needs) whilst Whack-Job RN is making it a full time occupation to sabatoge other nurses.
AH, judgemental much? I find that a number of traditional, youthful BSN's can and do often have the attitude of "I am soooo much better than you ever will be cause I went to ________(insert some private college that costs 50 grand a year here) got a 4.2 GPA, my dreammmmm is to be a CRNA...so I will leave all of the touching patient stuff to you trailer trash types, cause ya'll are used to sweaty, nasty, stinky people and half are probs your relatives. So don't talk to me, I am above you."
I was fortunate when I was raised. My choices did not always meld with the in crowd. I find it too funny that as an LPN I am often considered "white trash". I am not one with sharing my life outside of the hospital with my life inside the doors.
If one was ignorant, raising a child alone, I am not sure one would even have the time nor resources to go to college for a degree. But people do. And succeed. People have to work, and I bet that there are many, many RN's who were once waitressing, were CNA's, babysitters....not everyone is fortunate enough to have Mommy and Daddy take care of them until they are 21.
But it again begs the question--if a nurse has a shady past, or their pasture is green and full of rainbows doesn't matter--what does is why managment continues to keep nurses employed who are so over the top that patient's needs are not being met (I mean medical needs, not the "go fetch me a drink" needs) whilst Whack-Job RN is making it a full time occupation to sabatoge other nurses.
AH, judgemental much? I find that a number of traditional, youthful BSN's can and do often have the attitude of "I am soooo much better than you ever will be cause I went to ________(insert some private college that costs 50 grand a year here) got a 4.2 GPA, my dreammmmm is to be a CRNA...so I will leave all of the touching patient stuff to you trailer trash types, cause ya'll are used to sweaty, nasty, stinky people and half are probs your relatives. So don't talk to me, I am above you."
I was fortunate when I was raised. My choices did not always meld with the in crowd. I find it too funny that as an LPN I am often considered "white trash". I am not one with sharing my life outside of the hospital with my life inside the doors.
If one was ignorant, raising a child alone, I am not sure one would even have the time nor resources to go to college for a degree. But people do. And succeed. People have to work, and I bet that there are many, many RN's who were once waitressing, were CNA's, babysitters....not everyone is fortunate enough to have Mommy and Daddy take care of them until they are 21.
But it again begs the question--if a nurse has a shady past, or their pasture is green and full of rainbows doesn't matter--what does is why managment continues to keep nurses employed who are so over the top that patient's needs are not being met (I mean medical needs, not the "go fetch me a drink" needs) whilst Whack-Job RN is making it a full time occupation to sabatoge other nurses.
I remember when I was prep courses to prepare for my SAT's, there was this one student in the class who identified as gender neutral. The student wanted to be referred to as hshe/it. I kid you not. Okay, that is fine, we respect everyone. The problem was, hshe/it got super hot anytime there was a question with a gender binary. ("If there are five men and seven women in the class, what is the ratio of men to women?") Hshe/it would declaim to the class that the questions were offensive and heteronormative, ostentatiously scratching out the terms on their paper and replacing them with their own pronouns. Should we respect hshe/it's gender orientation? Sure. But it never occurred to them that the teachers hadn't written the questions, so their real beef was with the SAT committee and the English language, not with us. Meantime the rest of us were rolling our eyes and hoping hshe/it would stop talking so we could learn and prepare for the SAT. It's an extreme example, but I often think of this person when I run into other complaining, entitled students. They spend more time demanding attention than they do learning, then wonder why they fail, why the administrators duck them when they go to complain about professors, and why they can't get anywhere.
AH, judgemental much? I find that a number of traditional, youthful BSN's can and do often have the attitude of "I am soooo much better than you ever will be cause I went to ________(insert some private college that costs 50 grand a year here) got a 4.2 GPA, my dreammmmm is to be a CRNA...so I will leave all of the touching patient stuff to you trailer trash types, cause ya'll are used to sweaty, nasty, stinky people and half are probs your relatives. So don't talk to me, I am above you."
I was fortunate when I was raised. My choices did not always meld with the in crowd. I find it too funny that as an LPN I am often considered "white trash". I am not one with sharing my life outside of the hospital with my life inside the doors.
If one was ignorant, raising a child alone, I am not sure one would even have the time nor resources to go to college for a degree. But people do. And succeed. People have to work, and I bet that there are many, many RN's who were once waitressing, were CNA's, babysitters....not everyone is fortunate enough to have Mommy and Daddy take care of them until they are 21.
But it again begs the question--if a nurse has a shady past, or their pasture is green and full of rainbows doesn't matter--what does is why managment continues to keep nurses employed who are so over the top that patient's needs are not being met (I mean medical needs, not the "go fetch me a drink" needs) whilst Whack-Job RN is making it a full time occupation to sabatoge other nurses.
Constructive criticism is private, discrete, and often documented if it is a repetitive or serious situation. What it isn't, is doled out behind the orientee's back, designed to induce fear or tears, or braodcast to the entire unit. As we often hear, some people don't accept criticism well. Some do not provide feedback or criticism as well either. There are a lot of bullies out there. It was accepted in nurses for years. many "victims" or objects of bullying scratched their way over to the other side to become bullies. That doesn't justify it.
I fully agree. Broadcasting it to the unit is inexcusable. So is talking with other nurses behind an orientee's back. Unfortunately I have seen this happen time and time again. I just don't get it. Some here may say the preceptor is frustrated with an orientee's lack of progress so that's why they feel compelled to "vent" about (gossip) or humiliate their orientee... but I think maybe they should decline the preceptorship if that's how they get.
You can give people bad news or suggest steps for improvement in a way that does not attack or belittle them as a person. Most people would feel disrespected if they had a problem and it is up for public discussion or comment. But yet, many feel free to treat others, especially those lower down the pecking order, in this manner. These same people will often lie about what they say. Yet, they would cry the loudest if they are the object of the "treatment."A person can be wonderful in psych or long term care, but not cut out for MCH or Critical Care, etc. for whatever reason or they can be a total star. Just because something isn't for you or you aren't a textbook for that specialty by the end of week 1, doesn't make you worthless. Some orientees are frustrating to work with. Much of it comes from being nervous or insecure. They truly want to succeed and may try to overcompensate. If you get the same question over and over again, you can suggest writing info on index cards or say "this is what we will focus on today and we can check back tomorrow to see how much you remember." Your educator or another preceptor should be able to help. Tell the overconfident person (nicely), "it seems like you are trying to prove yourself. You are new and don't know everything. That is ok. I think you are doing well with... We still need to work on... I think we can make it work." The key is tell the person first and give a chance to address the issue before you run to the manager or charge person, or broadcast it. Being frustrated isn't an excuse for disrespect. Sometimes people may get along, but don't gel in the preceptor/orientee relationship.
I am kind of scattered and do not want a bunch of lists or papers. Please don't put me with someone who has twenty color coded index cards and keeps everything in labelled plastic bins. We could be friends, but probably would not work well together as preceptor and orientee. If you have to work with someone with habits you do not like, sometimes you do have to let go of some of your personal preferences. There are situations where there is no one else to precept. You gotta make the best of it. That may be your switch, so you can take your child's birthday off in six months.
imenid37
1,804 Posts
Thinking that either the preceptor or the orientee is an angel is, of course, a mistake. Some people are hard to teach and some are hopeless. I know. Now take the deep breath...Some preceptors and some nurses are plain nasty. Many were treated badly as young nurses, so they pass it on. I guess they forget how bad it felt, maybe? Maybe they just can't wait to be queen? Is it good to be queen? I wouldn't know. I have been a nurse for 27 years. I remember what it was like to have the "initiation" and I have made a conscious effort not to become one of those territorial nurses who were so mean to me and so many others.
Some orientees are not bright and not motivated. Some are very timid. Some are so confident, I consider taking out extra life insurance in case they may one day be my nurse. Take a look in the mirror. As a unit educator, I cannot tell you how many times I had nurses complain about how awful an orientee was. Sometimes, they were right. That was rare. Usually, they forgot what it was like to be new and what they were like as a new nurse. Often, the nurse a few years out who "knows it all" was very green and unskilled. Luckily for most, their skills improve and they blossom clinically. Hopefully, they develop some compassion for the up and coming. Some do and many don't.
One of my former "bad" orientees is now a wonderful nurse I 'd be thrilled to have caring for anyone I know who is having a baby. She had a real problem, though. She was a new grad who wasn't perky or chatty and the "Barbie" crowd on the unit didn't like her. She was anlittle awkward, overweight, and shy. I was told she did not know what she was doing, etc. I followed her for a couple of days and was quite satisfied with her skills and her thinking through of situations. She was quiet and was taking it all in. Another gal who started at the same time was very energetic, right on, and vocal about it. I think the quieter nurse actually was more careful. Though both have turned out well. The "problem" nurse is definitely the better nurse. Another very slow disorganized person I precepted as a staff nurse is a great WHNP.
School is hard, but it isn't nearly as hard as real life in the hospital. It is a shock for some people. In fact, it is a shock for most. I hate to see how mean some people are about this and how short their memory is. As an experienced nurse, you have a lot to offer if you are inclined to be generous with your expertise and compassion. If you think that being "mean" to a person is productive, you are dead wrong. Intimidation is a major driver of mistakes in healthcare. You are teaching those new nurses not to question those who "know" what their doing.
Many don't get what this profession is supposed to be. We should care about other people. Those people include patients and each other. If you are at a point in life where you need to make another nurse cry or feel worthless to "teach" them something, kow that ll you are teaching them is what a nasty person you. They may strive to be you and continue the cycle. Maybe they will quit and then you can pick on someone else. Either way, you have screwed up the future. Congratulations for accomplishing NOTHING.
It feels great to give a pat on the back for the first IV successful IV or accurate vag exam. I don't want or need to know what it feels like to make someone cry because I am so hard on them. That is not the mark of a "great" teacher. Rather, it is the mark of a small person. It is frustrating to be a preceptor. I raised three daughters. That was pretty frustrating too and pretty damn awesome too. It is wonderful to see some of the nurses I have helped to teach thriving and growing in the profession. It is also ok to see some of the nurse it didn't work out for. I have always treated them with respect and never have to feel ashamed for being unkind in my role as coworker,educator, or preceptor.
If I am flaming you OP, I am sorry. I just think what you say is totally wrong.