suicide

fluffwad · Jun 22, 2005

I had a patient jump several years ago. My mother shot herself. For me, the thing that really helped was sorting out why it happened.

My patient was demented and delusional. Her family had told her that her wild behaviors had to stop....she put her own interpretation on that. My mother had been in a lot of pain for a long time, then had a CVA and just couldnt take it anymore.

PM me if you like.

Hugs!

CHATSDALE · Jun 22, 2005

i haven't had a patient who committed suicide but once a long time ago i had a neighbor, late twenties with two beautiful little girls and his wife a SAHM

once when she had gone to visit her parents i was tending my child who was sick with teething when i heard a shot...

all neighbors ran out...he had used a deer rifle to shoot himself with...i am glad that he lived long enough to tell her that it wasn't her fault

i always felft like i should have picked up on some signals or been able to help in some way

SusanJean · Jun 22, 2005

While many times there are s/s that indicate a pt is suicidal, if someone is bent on committing suicide, there is nothing that can be done. They will tell no one, and just go off and do it. In fact, someone who was previously depressed may have a lightening of mood; they have reached a decision to end it all and are content in knowing that their pain will be ending.

IMO, very selfish, but they are not thinking clearing or they would never do it. The turmoil left behind is life-long for the survivors.

Your profile says you are a student. Are you on psych rotation? Is there someone you can talk w/?

SJ

dekatn · Jun 22, 2005

My brother shot himself when he was 15 yrs. old, we buried him on his 16th b-day. I worked in psych for 9 yrs. I honestly think that "SOMETIMES", and I really want to emphasize sometime, if a person is truly intent on taking their own life, you won't see any s/s. It's the ones' that are crying out for help that will exhibit s/s and drop subtle hints. Then too, there are the ones' that it's a spur of the minute, " I'm going to end it" and they do. We as healthcare professionals are taught to look for s/s, but truth is, sometimes they just aren't there. Please don't feel guilty. If this person was intent on suicide, they would eventually have found a way to follow through, with or without, intervention. We are all accountable for our own choices, please don't make yourself responsible for this pts. choice. It's good that you are wanting to talk about what happened, thus begins the healing process. You are welcome to pm me also if there is any way I can help.

Blackcat99 · Jun 22, 2005

At the psych hospital we had a man who was severely depressed. He seemed to be getting a little better. He told everyone at the hospital that he would never kill himself because he was a "Christian" and committing suicide was against God's rules. They released him and a week later he committed suicide. :crying2:

At the jail we had a young man who was to be released in a few months. He showed no signs of being suicidal. He was pleasant and seemed to be doing OK. He got very angry when the CO's wouldn't let him make a phone call to his Mother right away. It seemed like his suicide was an "impulsive act" and he hung himself in his cell. :crying2:

Suicide is such a tragic event. Sorry to hear about the loss of your patient.

leslie :-D · Jun 23, 2005

as the varied responses have indicated, often there are no s/s of someone planning to kill themself. on the contrary, many will act happy-go-lucky (compare to 'tears of a clown') and go the extra mile to be secretive.

whether there are s/s or not, it's a tragic,tragic event that affects many people- staff, family,friends, acquaintances. we all feel inclined to take on the responsibility and question ourselves "why didn't i see this?" it's because they didn't want you to.

and even when they present with signs of impending suicide, if someone is that intent, they're going to do it, regardless of any/all interventions. sometimes it's a cry for help and thankfully, many can be saved. but for those that plan it or do it impulsively, sadly, nothing in the world can be done.

please don't be hard on yourself. allow yourself to grieve. talk to someone. but there's nothing you or anyone else could have done.

my dtr. is currently in a psyche facility for suicidal ideations. when they try and talk about it, she acts like everything is better now. she is not to be trusted. yet at the same time, i am completely helpless in that if this is something she plans to do, no one is going to stop her. and no one would see it coming if she did indeed, continue w/ her happy facade.

i truly feel for you. God bless.

leslie

stevierae · Jun 23, 2005

What's really tragic is the ones who try, but end up in a chronic vegetative state or worse, from brain damage.

I saw this guy who tried to kill himself by putting a shotgun, I believe, under his chin. He blew off his face---eyes, nose, mouth, tongue, teeth, lips----but missed his brain, and so, of course, is alive. Can't see--can't hear---can't talk or eat or taste----but has a fully functioning brain, so he will have to THINK about the nightmare he's living for the rest of his days. He may well think he's in hell, and, in a way, he is.

He came to surgery for numerous facial reconstructions. I don't know who was signing the surgical consents; probably a state appointed guardian. I couldn't help feeling that if he could talk, he'd beg somebody to just "finish him off;" if he could see, he'd find a way to do it himself.

One time I asked the surgeons, "How do you know that what you are doing is in this man's best interests, or if he'd want you to proceed this way, knowing that he didn't want to live any more?

One of them (what a character) said, "Oh, we know. He wants everything possible done. He THANKS us for everything we do; every day."

I said, "HOW would you know that? HOW can he possibly "thank" you? He can't talk!!"

His answer: "He writes us notes."

Sick.

Saw a guy once too who injected himself with Drano---sloughed off damn near his entire arm. Didn't die.

Why'd he do it? Thought the doc told him he had "prostate cancer."

Doc actually told him he had "benign prostatic hypertrophy." He apparently stopped listening at that point, and started obsessing about what he mistakenly thought was cancer, and killing himself.

So very sad.

L&Dnurse2Be · Jun 23, 2005

I had a friend who commited suicide. He was an extremely gifted person who had just been accepted to UT with a full academic scholarship. He had tons of friends and a family that loved him dearly. One day he went out to the woods with his dog and his rifle. Only the dog returned. The funeral was so full of people that loved him. I guess you never know who is fighting with those feelings inside. I guess my best suggestion would be to try to talk with someone. It is not your fault that it happened. Like another person said, if they are going to do it, you can't do anything to stop it. Take care.

anyone have a patient who has committed suicide before noticing s/s that this was going to occur?
stuggling with grief, open for any comments on the topic.

nurse1986 · Jul 1, 2005

anyone have a patient who has committed suicide before noticing s/s that this was going to occur?
stuggling with grief, open for any comments on the topic.

I worked lock down psych for about 5 years and I had a female resident of the age of late 20's go into the shower room run the w/p full of COLD water get in the chair and lower it down in the water. she had her legs wrpped in the back of the chair and she placed her head on the drain,An aide found her , called me I pulled her out of the w/p and if I had not cracked the back of her head on the floor she would of died SCAREY!!!!!!!!!Some people do not have s/s , They just do it

barefootlady, ADN, RN · Jul 4, 2005

I was not working the day a former patient reported to the ER c/o anxiety, stress and random thoughts of self harm. Patient did not mention suicide, so ER physician did not call for psych eval, ordered mild tranquelizer, and sent patient home. Patient drove less than 1/4 mile from facility, pulled into the parking lot of a resturant/bar, took a pistol from glove compartment and put a bullet in their head. Died.

ER doctor was given a wrist slap, policy was institutated that all former psych patients would be offered an eval prior to discharge/other unit placement, and the whole mess was swept under the rug for a few years.

Later, when CON was in question this was one deciding factor in closing this unit. When I worked psych, if anything, I was overly cautious, threats are to be taken seriously, but the person who is serious about suicide does not always make threats. They have changes in behavior, may make subtle gestures to others for assistance, but if someone is serious about suicide, they find a way to complete the job. Guilt is a destructive,usually nonproductive feeling in a case suicide. Attempting to become more aware of our feelings/actions in dealing with depressed, suicidal individuals is productive but can be very, very difficult to accomplish.

Thanks for letting me ramble and revisit some of my earlier training.

Thunderwolf, MSN, RN · Jul 4, 2005

I had two patients suicide on my floor in the past 4 years.

The first guy hung himself. It was a nightmare. I found him, and me and a young staff member attempted CPR after we got the guy down, until 911 got there. I can remember his name, but not his face...although going through the whole CPR trying to save him. I had a very hard time dealing with this later on. The other staff member had a real hard time too. This patient gave no warning signs.

The second patient, several years later, jumped to his death after struggling with the issue concerning his hiatal hernia not getting better. He was a do-it-yourself guy. Polite, courteous, smiled. That shook me pretty bad too. Again, no warning signs to staff. I remember this guy's face, but can't remember his name...the opposite of the other guy.

Suicide devastates everyone...even the health care worker. I still live with it. But, each day is another chance to move on.