Suicide attempt while at school

Specialties School

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Ive been a school nurse for 3 years. Before this great adventure, I was hospital based and also did high risk outpatient OB case management. On Monday, I had the scariest nursing experience of my life. Im not handling it well and thought I might share it with other school nurses to help give me some insight.

Im a nurse at a middle school, have approx 740 6th, 7th and 8th graders. I was called to a classroom for an "emergency" I took off running, emergency bag in tow, arrived to the classroom to find one of my 8th graders on the floor convulsing and screaming about pain. Head to toe assessment, as fast as I could. She is well known to me, in fact had recently disclosed that she was pregnant ( long story short CPS referral, lots of visits with me in my office etc she is 13) At that point she screams out, "I just want to die." I ask, "did you take something" She responds, "yes when I got to school" We were in the process of a self inflicted drug overdose. My heart literally stopped. I instructed the teacher to call 911. Maintained airway, kept her conscious, kept her from hurting herself during convulsions. All the time I prayed that this child please not die!! Took paramedics 22 minutes to arrive. One of the most heart breaking moments was when the got her on the stretcher and she screamed "my name, please dont leave me!" I quickly hugged her, told her she was in good hands, that I had to stay to take care of the others. They wheeled her away and I lost it. I cried, I shook and felt like I was going to faint. It was at that moment I realized just how "alone" I am in this job. I have an AED, no narcan (yet) no oxygen, no code team. She will be ok. She is getting the care she needs. We move on. Im having terrible nightmares. I keep dreaming that 3 of my kids do it at the same time, in different places and I cant get to them.

Has anyone else encountered anything like this? Have any of you ever been overwhelmed by the thought that you are the only nurse in your building and that your resources, both materially and in other medical support persons, is incredibly limited?

I have made an appt with a counselor for myself. The emotions of this are exhausting.

Any words of advice? Thank you in advance!!!

Specializes in Med/Surg/Infection Control/Geriatrics.

There is nothing more wecan add. You said it all. God bless you.

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One of my son's suffers with depression and expressed suicidal thoughts. Knowing he is supported by an awesome school nurse makes it bearable for me to send him to school. I'm sure the family of the girl you saved feels the same about you. You are a rock star! Thank you for sharing your story. (((hugs)))

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I have rarely posted on AN, but I was so moved by this story I felt I had to. I am not a school nurse, I'm an LVN, but in Nov of 2015 my daughter handed me a suicide note she had written. She was 13. This wouldn't be the first, for the next year she would struggle with severe mental illness. I can't express how grateful I am that she handed me that note and that I didn't have to read it after she had attempted it, or even been successful. We knew something was wrong and we had been trying to get her to open up, until finally I yelled at her that I was badgering her because I loved her so much. She ended up hospitalized twice and wasn't able to go back to school. She tried, but it was too stressful, as that was where a lot of her troubles were most pronounced, and we couldn't get any support for her there, no counselor or administration offered us anything, and we went to each of her teachers and asked that they at least look out for her if she were to leave the room. But it was like we had two heads, no one wanted to talk about it, that my daughter might attempt suicide while at school. I asked them to please talk to the kids that they aren't alone, that there are other options, there is help out there. Again, nothing. I ended up leaving my job to stay with her 24-7, and we finally see a light at the end of the darkest year of our lives. She is doing better. You saved that girls life. You got her to help. You comforted her when she needed it most. As a mother I have to say to you Thank You. And thank you for telling the administration that the way they dealt with this is not ok. We should be talking about it everyday. Because it affects all of us either directly or indirectly.

One of my son's suffers with depression and expressed suicidal thoughts. Knowing he is supported by an awesome school nurse makes it bearable for me to send him to school. I'm sure the family of the girl you saved feels the same about you. You are a rock star! Thank you for sharing your story. (((hugs)))

Love to you both, Moms!

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Specializes in School Nurse, past Med Surge.
Thank you. At times my faith has not been the strongest. That is not the case right now. I know God was with us Monday morning. I know he had his hand on my shoulder to keep it together, to think clearly and keep this poor girl alive.

I did start a journal. I have to get these feelings out somewhere. I feel a little "CrAzY" right now. I fluctuate between feeling grateful, so very sad and Angry and frustrated. Im also terrified that it will happen again and that it wont turn out this well next time. I had never felt this way when I worked in the hospital. Makes me feel like maybe my skills are not the best, that if I doubt myself ,I am not the kind of nurse I thought I was. I never want to have another situation like that again. I do not want to be the only person responsible in that situation again. Does this make me a bad nurse? Does this mean Im not a good nurse? I feel weak. I have never felt any of these things in 25 years of being a nurse.

You all understand and I will be eternally grateful that I have had the opportunity to be supported by such a special group of humans!!

I normally go to the gym. I got pretty beat up on Monday. At one point I fell and knocked my knee up a bit. Just a contusion, the swelling and bruising looks much better today. I took a shower that lasted about a half hour last night. Im a single mom, have a 12 year old still at home. He was a student at the school. He knows way more about the situation than he should already. I dont want him to see me upset, dont want to make it worse for him. Im gonna keep breathing and praying. I have counseling on Monday. Only 2 more work days until I can see them.

I think it's only natural, after an incident like this, to question yourself & your abilities. Don't. You did the right thing. You could and would do it again if necessary. It's just something in us. What population did you work with at the hospital? I think part of what makes me nervous about something happening is that these are young kids. I worked with, primarily, an older population who had lived (presumably) a good long life.

Keep journaling, keep getting your feeling out. It will help.

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Not a school nurse, but I'm sending hugs too...

I think it would be a good idea to talk to the guidance office about doing some sort of assembly to talk about suicide in general and the need for students to SPEAK UP -- either get help for themselves if they need it, or for a friend that seems to need it.

I think every middle school and high school should provide this type of information... kids don't realize that people DO care about them and there ARE adults who will help them, even if their own parents won't listen.

... God bless each and every one of you for what you do!

Brilloiantly spoken. Ditto all of this.:up:

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She may have done what she did trying to cause an abortion (just guessing) or because of not seeing a future with an infant since she is only 13. You did great trying to help her, and she obviously trusts you, but she has HUGE problems and sounds like she gets minimal to no support at home. You may be the only person she thinks cares about her. Huge kudos to you, and keep trying to get a debriefing for the rest of the kids.

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Specializes in Varied.

Debrief, debrief, debrief. Seek counseling.

You are such an amazing nurse.

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Specializes in kids.
Psych Nurse here who works with suicidal youths - Sound like you did everything right. So take a moment to breath. You have just been involved in a sentinel event and I cannot tell you how important it is for you to have a critical incident stress debriefing. This is usually done with a therapist trained to do these debriefing your schools workman's comp insurance should pay for it and give you the referral. This will help you work through the event and how you feel. It will help.

Hppy

This ^^^

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Specializes in school nursing/ maternal/child hospital based.

Wanted to give you all a bit of follow up. Still no follow up or even an email to the students or staff from administration. Im getting the impression that "if its not talked about, it didnt happen" This is the third incident this year that I believe has fallen thru the cracks. 1 a teacher committed suicide, another was a credible safety threat to the school the student( was "withdrawn from school") and the students attempted suicide on Monday.

The student is back to school today!!! Mom put the kid on the bus and off she went. Almost to the exact moment of the incident last week, she was in my office with c/o a head ache. I didnt even know she was coming back. UGH!!! Just got a safety plan for her from the inpatient hospital she went to. I spoke with our school counselor and let her know that I thought it would be very important to discuss all of this with her teachers, get them on board ( makes sense???) She said she will think about it.

Going to a crisis counselor tonight and then a regular counselor tomorrow. Thank god for one of my friends, who is an assistant fire chief in the town where I live, he called the counselor they use and is willing to do some debriefing with me.

Again, thank you for all of your encouragement and support. I am lucky to be a part of this great group of humans!!!

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Specializes in Cardio-Pulmonary; Med-Surg; Private Duty.

I'm so very pissed off on behalf of the students and staff at your school.... I'm glad that you're taking care of yourself, at least. So sad that nobody else is looking out for the kids besides you. :(

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Specializes in School Nurse, past Med Surge.

She'll think about it?!?! You don't need her OK, do you? I'd go ahead & talk to her teachers whether the counselor is on board or not. I'd also go above your building admin & go to the superintendant or school board about the lack of follow up. So incredibly irresponsible of them...

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Specializes in school nursing, ortho, trauma.

Can I just add, there have been several - scratch that - many times that a student is sent out of here because they are a danger to themselves / others and i'm not made aware. I had a student out for weeks and it wasn't until i asked why he was out that i found out that he was suicidal. He came back to school, i never saw any sort of safety plan. I am one person. I can't keep up with all of it and i certainly can't keep up with it if i don't know what's going on. It's sad that i've begun keeping my head down and stopped asking questions.

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