Stupid things said by your non-nurse significant other

Nurses Humor

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This thread is started in honor of my darling husband, who told me this morning that he almost woke me early because he had a bowel obstruction.

I said, "A bowel obstruction? Really? Tell me more about it, honey."

He said, "Well, I had a hard time moving my bowels this morning. It took a long time and when I was done, I had this huge, hard stool, one of the biggest I've ever seen!"

As if that was something I'd be hopping right outta bed to see! I told him, "Honey, if you had a bowel obstruction, you'd be headed in for surgery. You'd be in pain. You wouldn't have just had the most humongous stool of your life. You didn't have an obstruction. You didn't even have an impaction, which I would NOT have removed for you, no matter how much I love you. You were constipated. In other words, you were simply full of ****. BTW, lay off the cheese!" The love of my life can eat a half pound of cheese in one sitting and wonders why he gets constipated! speechless-smiley-040.gif

Of course he's not a nurse! :devil:

Anyone else have stories about stupid, funny, silly things said by their dear non-nurse significant others, friends, family members? Please share! I can't be the only one!

Specializes in Trauma, Teaching.
From an ex-girlfriend:

"What in the world do you do with four nights off every week?"

:)

Why, hang out on All Nurses of course...........

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Specializes in Critical Care.
Ok, let's give knzaku a break for her post. She already confessed that's she's just sensitive to the term 'stupid', and now she's laughing about it. Besides, someone had to stick up for the underdog here (non medical people).

So, back to the original post... I wish I could report something silly that my husband has said, but he's just too smart to make any mistakes.

Therein lies the rub. Whil,e we don't mind having non-medical people, we would like to have them remember that this site is first and foremost called AllNurses. That means that there are probably nurses on here that need a safe place to says the things that we WON'T say to others in our lives, be they patients or significant others.

If you don't like that title of a thread, why bother to read it?

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Specializes in OB/Gyn, L&D, NICU.

If they do not have medical knowledge, they should not profess to be an expert. That is what makes their comments so stupid. And per one of my posts, the stupidest things I heard were from a woman who was *supposed* to be a nurse and thought "impetigo" was "infantigo" because only infants got it, and "prostrate" was a "dirty word" because it was a man's "sex organ." "Prostrate" means lying on the ground, and a "prostate" is not dirty.

I didn't see any humor in any of these comments at all except ignorance in the posting! You don't expect people who aren't nurses or medical experts to understand and discuss medical issues like you do. You too make funny comments on other fields everyday but you don't realize. The title "stupid things said by..." is even hilarious!! You think your spouses are fools and you are the nerd? If only we can be sensitive to different backgrounds and occupations then we will understand that our relatives and friends don't have to be medics
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Specializes in OB/Gyn, L&D, NICU.

I've always laughed at this one. However, some studies have actually shown some validity to the myth. Cold air is not only dryer, which dries out the mucosa, but a wet cold head also constricts the capillaries, leaving one more susceptible to germs.

My husband always complains that I'll get sick everytime I go out with wet hair no matter how many times I tell him people get sick from GERMS!
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Specializes in Med Surg, Specialty.

I've been asked if hypothyroidism is contagious.

Many years ago one of my former jobs involved making IDs. One person I made an ID for asked me to put "nurses assistant" on it instead of "nurse's aid" because people might then think she had AIDS. :eek:

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My husband asks me everytime he takes a motrin or a tylenol "are you 100% absolutely sure that I can take this at the same time as my blood pressure medicine"? Oh Lordy if he get a script for an antibiotic, then it's are you 110% sure I can take this pill, the motrin and my blood pressure pill together? Yes Dear. How do they know where they're supposed to go when you take them all at the same time? :uhoh3:

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Therein lies the rub. Whil,e we don't mind having non-medical people, we would like to have them remember that this site is first and foremost called AllNurses. That means that there are probably nurses on here that need a safe place to says the things that we WON'T say to others in our lives, be they patients or significant others.

If you don't like that title of a thread, why bother to read it?

Are you saying this to me? I am an RN, I just hadn't updated my info in many years. I didn't say I was non medical - I said they were the underdog. So anyway, I love this thread.

I think it's more than stupid when people act like they know a lot about something when they clearly have no clue. This comment was about the topic - not anyones reply to me.

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Specializes in Critical Care.
Are you saying this to me? I am an RN, I just hadn't updated my info in many years. I didn't say I was non medical - I said they were the underdog. So anyway, I love this thread.

I think it's more than stupid when people act like they know a lot about something when they clearly have no clue. This comment was about the topic - not anyones reply to me.

I was saying this because you said that someone had to stick up for the non-medical people here. I never implied that YOU were non-medical. That is why I had the original post quoted in my reply. I was directing the comment about not reading the thread to the person who was all bent out of shape because of the word stupid.

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Had to endure this from the ex last week: "Hydrogen peroxide is just water, isn't it?"

Yeah, dummy, it is... why don't you drink a bottle or two.

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I'm not a nurse yet so I don't know everything but my fiance thinks I do, I have do deal with him constantly "give me your hand. okay touch here" for every bump, bruise, scratch, everything.

He doesn't eat enough fiber and gets constipated a lot. He went to the doctor and pointed out a "bump" under his ribs on his right side and the doctor told him "that's your ribs" so he got mad and said the doctor was stupid and didn't want to go back there again. He made me touch it and all I did was look at him and he freaked out "DONT TELL ME ITS MY RIBS"

Oh, and this is not just with medical stuff:

If I tell him, "eat more fruit so it'll be easier when you use the restroom" etc. and he still went to his mom asking what he should do because it's hard for him to use the restroom. She gave him some weird herbal pill and he was confident it would fix it but it didn't do anything and when I told her he doesn't eat any fruits or vegetables she freaked out all, "he didnt tell me that!! i thought he had a real problem!" but he always goes to someone, anyone to get a "2nd opinion" if I tell him something. he always asks me questions but he never believes me when I give him answers until someone else confirms it. It's frustrating but when I call him out on it he's sweet about it, he's just a weirdo.

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To the original poster...If my parents weren't still married, I would ask you if you were married to my dad....HAHA... Your posts truly brought tears of laughter to my eyes. Your husband sounds just like my dad. Never a dull moment, right? I am not a nurse yet (in the process of applying). My dad was hospitalized last weekend for kidney stones. They thought he had an infection. Anyway, he is fine now, so I can now laugh about certain things. First of all, after the found the stone in the CT scan, they did an x-ray two days later to see if it had passed. The stone was no longer showing, but the doctor said it could be behind his pelvic bone. My dad asked me if a gall stone could be hiding in there. No, dad. Then, he had been given some cone looking things to take home to be able to catch the stone when it came out. Well, when he went back to the hospital after they found the stone in the ER and admitted him, he wanted to cone things even though the nurses were draining and checking for him. He actually told the nurses that he wanted to cones right next to his bed b/c it would make him less stressed out. Mind you, my mom was rolling her eyes out of control and the nurses had to do their best to not laugh until they got into the hallway with my mom. Too, too funny. We're still giving him a bad time about it.

On another note, this thread is not about saying that the people who say these things are stupid. It's all in fun. My dad is not at all a stupid person. He is educated and is pretty high up in the police department, so I am not saying he is stupid. There are things that my mom says or questions him about situations he has at work that are pretty funny, too. It's all in fun.

Thanks for this thread. I am at home sick, and it brought a smile to my face.

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I didn't see any humor in any of these comments at all except ignorance in the posting! You don't expect people who aren't nurses or medical experts to understand and discuss medical issues like you do. You too make funny comments on other fields everyday but you don't realize. The title "stupid things said by..." is even hilarious!! You think your spouses are fools and you are the nerd? If only we can be sensitive to different backgrounds and occupations then we will understand that our relatives and friends don't have to be medics

Are you kidding me? Lighten up!

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