Stupid People Award

RNonRun · Oct 7, 2004

We have records of plastic Coke bottles making it up the rear as well. We do not, however, have any info if any of the bottles were half full or half empty, caffeine free, diet, regular, etc.

Ahhhhahahaha!!!

LMAO!!!!

Thanks Marie!!

---leslie

sabRN2b05, BSN, RN · Oct 7, 2004

I have told this one here before:
My fil works security at a large metro hospital in the Midwest. Well lady came in all hush-hush demanding to see the dr. and "no one else". So they get her in, later on, in a room. Dr comes out collapsing in laughter, as does the chaperone nurse. Says "my lord the woman is a real SOURPUSS"
Yep, another winner: seems she had a lemon stuck up the hoohah and came in, after having tried everything to get it out.....
Lord, the things people do in the name of sexual gratification.

Geez, these people just need to go to one of those "fun" parties and get safe items to satisfy their needs (and just for the record, I'm not speaking from personal experience!! :uhoh3: )

Marie_LPN, RN, LPN, RN · Oct 7, 2004

I would think lemon juice would burn?

hal248 · Oct 18, 2004

Remember the glass returnable COKE bottles. They create quite a vacum when inserted up ones rectum when your boy friend is out of town. It took the Colorectal surgen about 45 minutes to get the bottle out finaly we drilled a small hole in the bottom using a masonary drill bit.

We just could NOT make this stuff up!
But you won't ever hear these on "ER"!!

RDH2RN · Oct 18, 2004

So this is what I have to look forward to when I become an RN? Oh man, I'd better re-think my second career choice! :uhoh3: LOL

Angel

kids · Oct 18, 2004

20 something newlywed presented in the ER with a golf ball up the, well, you know. Apparently she and the new hubby had been "playing around" and the ball got stuck in a skin fold of the lady parts, created a suction, and they couldn't retrieve it. After much (discreet) laughter and a lot of jokes involving the husband yelling "Fore!", one of our docs retrieved the offending item with a plastic spoon.
We've also retrieved wine bottles, toilet brushes, and various other items from people's rectums.
Life in the ER is never dull. ..

Tom must have missed this one, I can't imagine he'd willingly pass on a good golf story

Bikernurse · Oct 20, 2004

Elderly single male who was lonely and used a vacum cleaner on his member, turned it on and when removing it after it was swollen caused a lot of tissue damage. Why do you think it is called EUREKA !!

celticqueen · Nov 11, 2004

I knew a woman who already had six kids, she went to the doctor to go on the contraceptive pill. She fell pregnant again a while after starting them. She was adamant that she was taking the pills and had not missed a dose, but did admit that she did wonder why they kept falling out when she went to the toilet!!!!!!! (You can work it out) :rolleyes:

Emma

celticqueen · Nov 11, 2004

Oh yeah, another person I know thought that she could replace a tooth which had fallen out by glueing it back into it's socket using extra strength super glue. She had to go to A&E in the end coz she was as high as a kite.

Emma

maxinefrancine · Nov 13, 2004

A large man comes rushing into the ER with small infant (1-2 weeks old) in arms, Beating on the door of triage. Backdrop, completely full waiting room with 5 people yet to be triaged in and a "real" chest pain in chair. When questioned about emergency (of course the worst goes through any good triage nurse's mind, resp. arrest, seizure etc.) the man replies "I was turning around and brushed my son's head with my elbow!!!" frantic and near hysteria, the man reports "I put a whole in his head..."

You guessed it, the baby was fine with a perfectlly normal "soft" spot. The poor man was in tears, and his obviously exhaused "new mom" wife quietly states,"I told him I think it was there before"

After reassuring the man he did no damage to his infant son, we all laughed and they went home with instructions to call grandma so both could get some well deserved rest!

no er holds · Nov 13, 2004

More Foreign objects in Never-Never Land...a Mag Flashlight (yes, the ones that use D Batteries) that a gentleman of 70-something decided to use and a cell phone that a girlfriend had placed on vibrate and asked her boyfriend to call repeatedly.

teeituptom, BSN, RN · Nov 13, 2004

A Man brings his 17 yo son in after he was tackled in a football game because he noticed this swelling in his cervical spine.

Tried to explain the anatomy of C7 to the man but he wouldnt buy it. Just to make them happy C Collared the boy and backboarded him. Took almost 2 hours for a Doc to get into see him. Cleared the Cspine and sent him home.

They werent happy