Stupid People Award

RNin92 · Oct 3, 2004

DING DING DING!! We have a winner!! :chuckle
Here's another stupid-person tale from the annals of my own ER: A couple of months ago, during a full moon (surprise, surprise), a guy came in bleeding profusely from his genital area and screaming in agony. Seems he had just broken up with his girlfriend, and he'd decided that sex was just too much of an issue for him to deal with, so he'd calmly sliced open his scrotum with a hunting knife and attempted to remove the testicles.
Well, he discovered rather quickly that there is a whole new world of pain that a relationship gone bad just can't match. His neighbors heard him howling and called 911, and by the time the ambulance brought him to the ER he was about half out of his mind with the pain. So they gave the poor devil some Versed and sewed him back up........and when it was all over he said "Thanks, I feel better now" and left! No psych consult, no overnight observation, no follow-up......apparently he got his anguish out of his system, and we've never heard from him again.

You know that you never heard from him again because he managed to "do it right" the next time!!

:rotfl:

RNin92 · Oct 3, 2004

ER patients provide so many choices...

The guy who used not 1...not 2...but 3 titanium cock rings...

He was in line to thin out the gene pool, manually.

The guy who decided that a ketchup bottle was "just the right size" to fit his rectum...a GLASS ketchup bottle...

The poor kid who thought suicide was his only answer...

Tried to OD...bottle had only 2 pills...and they were expired

Tried to hang himself...the branch broke

Tried to CO poison himself...car ran out of gas

Tried to strip and lay in the forest in the winter and die of exposure...hunter found him.

So does that make him a Darwin Award contender or unlucky?!!? Hmmm

The hits go on and on...

DutchgirlRN, ASN, RN · Oct 3, 2004

DING DING DING!! We have a winner!! :chuckle
Here's another stupid-person tale from the annals of my own ER: A couple of months ago, during a full moon (surprise, surprise), a guy came in bleeding profusely from his genital area and screaming in agony. Seems he had just broken up with his girlfriend, and he'd decided that sex was just too much of an issue for him to deal with, so he'd calmly sliced open his scrotum with a hunting knife and attempted to remove the testicles.
Well, he discovered rather quickly that there is a whole new world of pain that a relationship gone bad just can't match. His neighbors heard him howling and called 911, and by the time the ambulance brought him to the ER he was about half out of his mind with the pain. So they gave the poor devil some Versed and sewed him back up........and when it was all over he said "Thanks, I feel better now" and left! No psych consult, no overnight observation, no follow-up......apparently he got his anguish out of his system, and we've never heard from him again.

Yes ! I definately think this guy should get the prize. OMG !! I cannot imagine doing that to yourself. As far as patients who are embarrassed. We had a lady come in the ER one night with a glass Coke-Cola bottle vaccum stuck you know where. The bottom was cut off, the vaccum seal broke, here face was red, and we never saw her again. Wonder if she signed in with her real name?????

ladytraviler · Oct 4, 2004

We had a guy wabble into the ER. Would not let anyone look at him but a doctor :angryfire . We put him and his towel in a room. The DR. and I went in to see him laying on the gurney with towel over him. He tells the doc that his girlfriend was tired of gaging :imbar on hair when she went down so she waited until he was asleep and tried to hot wax the area with parifin(?) wax. He woke when she tried to "peel" it off like she did her legs. The guy was a mess as he had about a quarter of inch of hard waxin an area that should never see wax . They tried to remelt the wax to get it off with a lighter and had set a portion of the wax on fire :crying2: . Stepped out to nurses station to laugh till cried. He went to surgery for debridement and wax removal. You would think that would be it right?

:rolleyes:

Two weeks later, this girl comes in in tears. She said she was waxing and spilt the wax on her sensitive area :imbar . In back, she had the same type of wax that the previous pt did. turns out that he thought it was a freak thing and it wouldnt happen again so he tried to denude his love. They even tried to melt it off with the lighter :crying2: . You guessed it. 2nd degree burn that needed debridement and wax removal.

She stated that they would use a different wax next time :uhoh3: .

Here's your sign.

laurakoko · Oct 4, 2004

These are HILARIOUS!!!! Please share more......:chuckle

V. Nightingale · Oct 4, 2004

20 something newlywed presented in the ER with a golf ball up the, well, you know. Apparently she and the new hubby had been "playing around" and the ball got stuck in a skin fold of the lady parts, created a suction, and they couldn't retrieve it. After much (discreet) laughter and a lot of jokes involving the husband yelling "Fore!", one of our docs retrieved the offending item with a plastic spoon.

We've also retrieved wine bottles, toilet brushes, and various other items from people's rectums.

Life in the ER is never dull. ..

RNin92 · Oct 4, 2004

Soooooo true...

ER is crazy, chaotic, insane, high-stressed, awesome...

MANY adjectives...

Just NEVER dull!!

:rotfl:

Marie_LPN, RN, LPN, RN · Oct 4, 2004

20 something newlywed presented in the ER with a golf ball up the, well, you know. Apparently she and the new hubby had been "playing around" and the ball got stuck in a skin fold of the lady parts, created a suction, and they couldn't retrieve it. After much (discreet) laughter and a lot of jokes involving the husband yelling "Fore!", one of our docs retrieved the offending item with a plastic spoon.

Had a bad joke for this one, but like i said, it was pretty bad lol.

nuttyRN · Oct 4, 2004

So I DO NOT work in ED - I never wanted to believe the "Barbie doll head" down the hatch story. Is it true or just rumor from my ED?:angryfire :angryfire

fotografe · Oct 4, 2004

What is with all the household objects stuck in the rectum? I just can't believe people think it is ok to stick these things there. Is this really such a common thing? Oy.

RNin92 · Oct 4, 2004

What is with all the household objects stuck in the rectum? I just can't believe people think it is ok to stick these things there. Is this really such a common thing? Oy.

We just could NOT make this stuff up!

But you won't ever hear these on "ER"!!

Long Term Care Columnist / Guide · Oct 5, 2004

I never have understood people's fascination with putting things in their rectums......that was designed to be an EXIT, not an entryway! :uhoh21: