It's been awhile since we had a stupid nurse tricks thread, so here goes: How to look Incredibly Stupid Without Really Trying:
Call in to work because it's snowed and it's "not worth your life to drive to work on those roads." Be in a bar down the street from the hospital when your best friend at work uses the "Find My Friends" app on her iPhone to check on when her replacement will get there in to relieve her. (Will you lose your job?)
You've got horrible abdominal pain, but you suck it up and come to work anyway. Yay, you! You collapse in your patient's room and are whisked off to the ER by your manager and an RT. You insist that you're infertile and couldn't possibly be pregnant as you're delivered of a full term baby girl. (OK, this one was a CNS and nursing student.)
Call in sick to work because you want to go to your manager's wedding and you didn't win the "get the weekend off" lottery. Catch the bouquet. (And lose your job.)
You're having palpitations, and you're a little lightheaded and slightly diaphoretic. Strangers at the mall are concerned and offer to call an ambulance. You decline, telling them you're fine. Then you think that you probably should go to the ER, but since you know from AN that you won't get a sandwich to eat, you sit down at Bertucci's and order a plate of ravioli. Then you drive yourself to the ER, park at the bottom of a hill and walk uphill to the entrance. You're surprised when the triage nurse takes you straight back. (Yes, that was me. I was fine.)
Tell everyone at work that you're young, you want to have fun, and you're going to a friend's Halloween party after work. Go to the party dressed as a sexy nurse, and be in lots of pictures. Post those pictures on Facebook. Now call in sick to work the next day at 06:50 for your 07:00 shift. You've friended everyone you work with on FaceBook. (And NOT lose your job. What are the odds?)
Steal money from your colleagues' bags in the breakroom. Get caught by a colleague with a black belt in tae kwon do. Be photographed with a 5 foot tall girl flipping you and then sitting on you until Security arrives. (Have your manliness questioned by everyone who sees the pictures.)
She got a quick lesson on the esophagus and trachs and was watched closer the rest of the night. She truly thought the trach was for everything. It was her first time dealing with a trach. Poor thing. Needless to say after her orientation she was transferred to med surg. ICU was too much for her. She told us she didn't have the critical thinking skills and thick skin for us. Now we have a whole orientation sign off checklist for trachs. And the first thing in bold big black letters is do not put any meds down trach! I could only imagine how bad that could've turned out had I not been watching her every move.
That nurse likely went on to badmouth the COB's in the ICU who ate their young and didn't give her a chance because she was young and beautiful and had better scrubs than all of them.
RT on a fitness craze was wearing ankle weights for his shift. (God alone knows why -- why would you want to make work more difficult than it already is?) Took the patient to MRI without thinking twice about the ankle weights. Suddenly, RT is airborne, flying right past the patient, nurse and MD and landing with his ankles slammed up against the scanner, above head height. All attempts to remove the weights without removing his pants are fruitless. Patient is laughing so hard he forgets to ask for dilaudid. In the end, RT's pants had to be removed in order to detatch him from the scanner.
That was the day he chose to go commando.
Metal bits from the ankle weights went into the scanner and it had to be shut down for three days.
RT on a fitness craze was wearing ankle weights for his shift. (God alone knows why -- why would you want to make work more difficult than it already is?) Took the patient to MRI without thinking twice about the ankle weights. Suddenly, RT is airborne, flying right past the patient, nurse and MD and landing with his ankles slammed up against the scanner, above head height. All attempts to remove the weights without removing his pants are fruitless. Patient is laughing so hard he forgets to ask for dilaudid. In the end, RT's pants had to be removed in order to detatch him from the scanner.
That was the day he chose to go commando.
Metal bits from the ankle weights went into the scanner and it had to be shut down for three days.
When begging a hardhearted doctor for an IV Ativan order for an agitated patient it is helpful to remember that the patient does not, in fact have IV access. Had to sheepishly call back a minute later...
First day on the job as a CNA on the unit I was hoping to work on when I graduated nursing school. Sweet little demented old man gets up and starts booking it to the bed. I grab him in a bear hug to keep him from falling and...Ping! There goes his PICC line across the room; I failed to notice his IV line was caught on a chair. Nurse was not impressed.
Chatting with a TURP patient while showing him how to switch from a night bag to a leg bag...tubing was on really tight, when I finally disconnected it pee splashed on my face...and in my open mouth. Patient didn't understand why I had to suddenly frantically wash my mouth out at the sink.
Uggh get me some zofran quick. I am throwing up for you!
OH GAWD...I felt my face go from hilarity to horror slowly but surely...very bad indeed... We covered trachs in school...how could someone confuse a trach for breathing, which indicates lungs, with any type of feeding tube? I am sorry, but this really, really disturbed me [/quote']
Yeah me too! I was in total shock. And was the clinical educator, nurse manager and other nurses. Not really sure what was going through her head. Or what wasn't. Her excuse was the tech school she went to didn't go over trachs in depth, poor excuse if you ask me. Basic knowledge should kick in. It's a breathing tube not a feeding tube. She had to redo orientation when she transferred. She asks if she can float to ICU and our manager has pretty much banned her from working on the unit. I only precepted her 1 day as I was covering for her regular preceptor. After that I took over care I had a hard time letting her do anything I was so scared.
I drew blood for my patient in the upper arm and then preceded to remove an IV below in the forearm. Blood poured out on the sheet, blanket, my gloves, and even dropped a little on the floor. For a second I thought I'd nicked an artery somehow or another!
That nurse likely went on to badmouth the COB's in the ICU who ate their young and didn't give her a chance because she was young and beautiful and had better scrubs than all of them.
I'm sure she was especially since I took over care and wouldn't allow her to anything that involved patient care. I probably should've handled it differently but at that point I was to scared to let her do anything. I had her shadow me the rest of the day. And when I was doing something I was explaining the steps to her she just rolled her eyes and was like yeah I know how to do that.
Specializes in Emergency Department; Neonatal ICU.
Asking a patient with a chief complaint of diarrhea if she has had any constipation in the last day (me).
Asking the ED nurse if the adenosine given for SVT was given PO (not me)
Bending over in the same area of the room and then standing quickly and smacking my head on the open cabinet door (me - several times - one of these days I'll get some sense knocked into me...)
And of course I have finally stopped saying things like, "and your son" or "your wife..."
Sidenote: I always introduce myself and ask people in the room how they are related to the patient.
I also never assume anyone is pregnant until a baby is crowning out of them. ;-)
Now, on to the stupid!
So I had a stroke patient who was also a newly-diagnosed diabetic and underwent a difficult urinary catheterization. Tricky guy to work with but I was on top of things. I am new and ultra-diligent about my neuro checks, blood sugar checks and all proud that they are on time and charted on the dot. Look at me. Green, but a rockstar. A doctor walks into the room, introduces himself and his specialty and promptly I rattle off all of my shiny and hard-earned neurological findings, my precise observations on pupil size and reflexes.
Doc says uh uh and asks for lube.
Oh. Kay.
I go get the lube anyway.
I open the lube packets for him and proceed to discuss my findings. Left-sided hemiplegia improving. Sensation intact in all four extremities. Perfect finger-to-nose and heel-to-shi....
Why the heck is the doctor putting his finger in my patient's butt?
Somehow things are still not making sense and I keep talking neuro.
Doc ungloves and says "Didn't you hear me? I'm the...
U...
RO...
LOGIST
"...not the neurologist!"
I don't know what about his concern about the Foley, his finger up the butt and his utter lack of concern about my neuro findings did not connect with me but there you go.
Sidenote: I always introduce myself and ask people in the room how they are related to the patient.
I also never assume anyone is pregnant until a baby is crowning out of them. ;-)
Now, on to the stupid!
So I had a stroke patient who was also a newly-diagnosed diabetic and underwent a difficult urinary catheterization. Tricky guy to work with but I was on top of things. I am new and ultra-diligent about my neuro checks, blood sugar checks and all proud that they are on time and charted on the dot. Look at me. Green, but a rockstar. A doctor walks into the room, introduces himself and his specialty and promptly I rattle off all of my shiny and hard-earned neurological findings, my precise observations on pupil size and reflexes.
Doc says uh uh and asks for lube.
Oh. Kay.
I go get the lube anyway.
I open the lube packets for him and proceed to discuss my findings. Left-sided hemiplegia improving. Sensation intact in all four extremities. Perfect finger-to-nose and heel-to-shi....
Why the heck is the doctor putting his finger in my patient's butt?
Somehow things are still not making sense and I keep talking neuro.
Doc ungloves and says "Didn't you hear me? I'm the...
U...
RO...
LOGIST
"...not the neurologist!"
I don't know what about his concern about the Foley, his finger up the butt and his utter lack of concern about my neuro findings did not connect with me but there you go.
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WoosahRN, MSN, RN
278 Posts
The ankle weights is my new favorite story.