I'm surprised there has been no mention of the Stanford rape trial and sentence on all nurses. I'm opening up the discussion as I feel it pertains to us in many ways. One as people who may have been victims or know others who have been victims of sexual violence and two as nurses that have taken care of others in this situation, whether directly in ER or a patient suffering from PTSD with other health problems as well.
I applaud the survivor's bravery and her impact statement that has gone public. I hope this will comfort other survivors, but even more I hope this will discourage rape in general. Campus rapes are common and rapes at frats are in the news frequently. Once again a college athlete got off with just a slap on the wrist, although I don't think he counted on all the negative publicity this case has garnered.
What disturbs me the most is the letters of the parents to the judge. The father's don't punish him for 20 minutes of action. Then the mother's letter, who by the way is a nurse for gynecological surgeries and in the past as a pediatric nurse, who had not one iota of empathy for the victim. Her letter simply astonished me. I can't believe as a woman, as a nurse, as a mother of a daughter she had no empathy for the victim! This troubles me the most! I imagine in her years as a nurse she must have taken care of a rape victim and her total lack of empathy for the victim disturbs me greatly!
We don't throw our kids away when they mess up. We stand by people we love. We correct our kids and let them know when they have done wrong and help them to turn around, make restitution, etc. But they are always our kids.
She hasn't done that. She's made him out to be the real victim. That's not the same as "correcting," "letting him know when he has have done wrong,' and making sure he "makes restitution." She has denied his culpability in the face of much evidence to the contrary. I think the parents posting here would understand simply saying she still loves him and intends to stand by to be there for him. Not what happened, though.
Do you have statistics or references on men who are falsely accused of rape? You say it's a miniscule number. How do you know? You more or less say that it's ok for men to be falsely accused because of how many women actually report rape and because women who report have a long row to hoe in our criminal justice system. And they do, I agree. But it's not ok for a man to be falsely accused because of that. Even if you think it is, it's not. Are you glad the Duke Lacrosse players' lives were upended because of a lying DA (Mike Nifong)? Maybe you figure their and their loved ones' suffering and expenses were good because so many women get raped and suffer during justice system proceedings because they report.
Please quote the post where anyone said it was "okay for someone to falsely accuse someone of rape."
What I DID NOT say is that a woman has to do it or should do it.
I said that , in my experience, it is women who do the huge majority of it. Just in case you think I was somehow saying women SHOULD do it.
No, you said that was all about biology. With the exception of giving birth, the other things you mentioned are really about socialization, not biology.
Thank you for showing me the passage that people interpreted as meaning rape victims deserve to be raped.
I can't do more than assure you that I did not mean to imply anything even closely related to that.
No one deserves to be raped. Ever. I was only telling you about prevention. Foolish of me. I should have anticipated that someone would read into what I said and think I was implying something more when I was absolutely not implying anything.
I was telling you what I had been taught about crime prevention when I was growing up. I was absolutely not saying anyone deserves to be victimized if they don't follow the precautions I was taught.
I have learned here that the current thinking about rape is different than it was 50 years ago. Thank you for the education. Probably some of you won't believe me but you really have taught this old dog new tricks.
She hasn't done that. She's made him out to be the real victim. That's not the same as "correcting," "letting him know when he has have done wrong,' and making sure he "makes restitution." She has denied his culpability in the face of much evidence to the contrary. I think the parents posting here would understand simply saying she still loves him and intends to stand by to be there for him. Not what happened, though.
We don't know what has gone on in their private lives. She wrote a letter pleading for mercy for her son. She might very well have done in their private lives the things I said good parents do.
Please quote the post where anyone said it was "okay for someone to falsely accuse someone of rape."
Read Ruby Vee's last few posts. She sounds glad almost that men get falsely accused, she minimizes their and their loved ones' suffering because it's so rare and because women who report being raped get raked over the coals.
No, you said that was all about biology. With the exception of giving birth, the other things you mentioned are really about socialization, not biology.
I think you just want to argue. I will tell you again and maybe you will get it this time. I did not say that homemaking has to be done by a woman. Read into it whatever you wish, but I really think you are just so angry that you don't want to understand or accept or agree with anything I say. So it's probably a waste of my time and energy to try to explain again.
I think you just want to argue. I will tell you again and maybe you will get it this time. I did not say that homemaking has to be done by a woman. Read into it whatever you wish, but I really think you are just so angry that you don't want to understand or accept or agree with anything I say. So it's probably a waste of my time and energy to try to explain again.
Peace.
LOL, I am not REMOTELY angry. Why would I let some anonymous human being on the internet make me angry? I don't give away my power that easily.
I also never said you implied housekeeping HAS to be done by a woman. However, YOU attributed it to biology, and I simply said it has nothing to do with biology, and everything to do with socialization.
Read Ruby Vee's last few posts. She sounds glad almost that men get falsely accused, she minimizes their and their loved ones' suffering because it's so rare and because women who report being raped get raked over the coals.
I don't see her being "glad" about anyone being falsely accused. Now I think you are just starting to make stuff up.
This might be one of the most offensive posts I've ever read. You truly don't get how ignorant you are, and I feel sorry for you and anyone who has to listen to your beliefs.
Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
Some rapes can be prevented, although, since they are prevented, we don't know about them.
A number of people here who have been victims have stated that they believe in preventive measures. Their opinions should count for something. Even some here who have not stated they were victims teach their daughters to use wisdom and sound judgment re: social life, crime prevention - after they tore me to shreds for suggesting preventive measures, common sense safety measures.
Ruby, I think you just don't want to understand or accept what I have actually said. I have stated, restated, explained, and reiterated and you still don't want to accept my explanations.
So just believe what you like and behave as you like. I have no say over what you do or how you live. It does rather make me wonder why you, as a DV survivor, got out of your bad situation. Why not just stay in it? Why try to prevent further trouble? Prevention is so often key in life and you used that approach, for which you should be applauded. But why you don't see it for rape prevention I don't know.
I have never said victims are to blame or that they deserved to be victims. I have stated that rapists are sick people, otherwise they would not rape. No, not all rapes can be prevented. Kids, nuns, old women in their homes - the rapists in these cases are super sickos and these victims are not to blame.
The Stanford victim didn't deserve to be raped either. Nor do men in jail.
Do you have statistics or references on men who are falsely accused of rape? You say it's a miniscule number. How do you know? You more or less say that it's ok for men to be falsely accused because of how many women actually report rape and because women who report have a long row to hoe in our criminal justice system. And they do, I agree. But it's not ok for a man to be falsely accused because of that. Even if you think it is, it's not. Are you glad the Duke Lacrosse players' lives were upended because of a lying DA (Mike Nifong)? Maybe you figure their and their loved ones' suffering and expenses were good because so many women get raped and suffer during justice system proceedings because they report.
Anyway, be well and I think I'm pretty much done with trying to make myself clear. I hope we can have a decent relationship in the future. IF not, it's ok. As I said, I have always thought pretty highly of you from what I've read here.
Peace.
If you were trying to be offensive, you've done so.
First, I never said that it was OK to falsely accuse someone (male or female) of rape. I said it was rare. By all statistics, rape is largely UNDER reported because so few women want to go through the misery of reporting a rape. False reports of rape -- I guess if you go by how few men are actually CONVICTED of raping women, it isn't that rare. Unfortunately, guilty rapists don't often get convicted because of under reporting and because women are reluctant to go the distance with a complaint when they face eviseration by the rapist's attorneys.
Second, the statement that some rapes can be prevent isn't really accurate, either. If your daughters manage to go to that party where the rapist is, modestly dressed and abstain from alcohol, they may not get raped but someone else will. Rapists are predators. Like wolves, they know how to separate the weakest from the herd.
Third, I left my abusive ex-husband right after he tried and failed to murder me. If I hadn't left, he might have succeeded the next time. What a truly below the belt statement for you to make.
Kooky Korky, BSN, RN
5,216 Posts
Midiosa, stop apologizing. Your comments are as relevant as anyone else's.