Some crazy/funny things that patients did.

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Do you have some memorable moments when your patient did some crazy thing that you had to laugh out loud.Last week my patient decided to purchase chocolate laxative (that suppose to help him,it is called exlax).There are 12 pieces of chocolate and you can only take up to 4 a day,my patient said it tasted good and eat the whole 12 pieces,he did had bowel movement lol ,and turned out to be ok:)))

Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.

years ago, i had a patient who used to walk out of her room and turn right, count off three doors down the hall and go into that room, squat in the corner and poop. every day, regular as clock work. the (also confused) little old lady in the room with poop in the corner swore up and down she didn't do it -- it was some crazy old lady from down the hall who came into her room to take a dump. i was brand new -- every morning i charted that mrs. poopyroom had had a soft, formed stool and that mrs. squatsalot hadn't pooped. it wasn't until we gave mrs. squatsalot a laxative she didn't actually need and i caught her running up the hall to the other lady's room to poop that i caught on. poor mrs. poopyroom was so constipated it took several hhh enemas to get her going!

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Specializes in ER, IICU, PCU, PACU, EMS.

I had a trauma patient arrive to the ED with altered LOC. He was a quiet type and not critical. The moment I stepped out of the room to triage an incoming ambulance I heard a loud "WHEEEEEE WHEEEEE". The patient had ripped everything off of himself, was standing on top of the bed and literally spinning around urinating all over the place.

Always watch the quiet ones!! :D

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A long long time ago when families needed a rest from Mama they could bring her to the hospital no questions asked. We were taking care of a 90 something lady who to us was a little sweetheart. But she knew how to push all her daughter's buttons. Very whiny, just like a little kid. She had a sweet tooth and her daughter would stash a bag of M&M's in her drawer. We were allowed to give her a few now and then. One day she'd got on her daughter's last nerve and would not stop whining so her daughter took the candy away. She threatened to report anybody that brought her more. Patient cried all afternoon. Later that night I was passing her room and noticed she had the covers over her head and I heard crunching sounds. I pulled back the covers and she was eating a styrofoam cup!!! I said Mrs. D why are you doing that and she said "Because I was hungry."

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Specializes in Assisted Living Nurse Manager.

Just the other day I had one of my residents say to me "I like you......someone has too"! I laughed so hard that I almost pee'd my pants,lol.

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Specializes in Alzheimer's, Geriatrics, Chem. Dep..

These are so cute :) thanks!

I hate to tattle but my older brother on a manic high bought two used cars OVER THE PHONE from the psych ward! I don't know if it was in a newspaper or what but he managed. AMAZING.

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Specializes in Cardiac, Thoracic, Vsg, ENT, GU.

All these wonderfully funny stories just reminded me of a transient patient

admitted with MAGGOTS in a large cheek wound. An LPN was his nurse and

I thought she would flip out while cleaning the area, and wanting to make

sure he wasn't in pain, she asked him about any pain. "Oh no, they only

hurt when they bite!" OMG, she and I can still laugh today (that occurred

over 20 years ago) over that one.

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Specializes in Medicine.

When I was on a maternity rotation, a woman who had a baby the previous week returned to the unit with a box of donuts and home made brownies. The nurses and I thought that it was the sweetest gesture. Just before everyone started taking a treat she said "I hope you will like the brownies. I used some of the milk from the breast pump"

That was the day I decided I would never accept anything edible from a patient. What in the world was she THINKING!!

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Specializes in Psychiatric and home health Peds..

I have worked on a psych unit for over 15 years and the funny things said by the patients and the staff are way too many to even mention. It is like being part of a sitcom without the high pay. The things that I have heard and saw I could not make up if I tried and no one would believe me anyway. It is those moments that make psych nursing all the more interesting.

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Specializes in critical care, PACU.

top 3 so far, which really arent too bad in comparison

- taking off all clothes and assuming the doggy-style position (no one else in room)

- threatening to kill me so "I can finally take a s*** and p*** in the corner"

- blowing me repeated kisses to the point of awkwardness--I feel guilty that Im too busy/normal to keep catching them or blowing them back

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Specializes in Medsurg/ICU, Mental Health, Home Health.
The things that I have heard and saw I could not make up if I tried and no one would believe me anyway.

I think this is one audience that would, indeed, believe you!

Come on, play along! :)

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Specializes in ER/Ortho.

Mr. xxxx, do you smoke?....Yes, about a pack a day. Do you drink....yes, about two six packs a day. Do you feel you have a drinking problem?....No You drink two six packs everyday, and you don't feel you have a drinking problem.

No, I am used to it.

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I was pregnant and worked on a alzheimers floor and there was this little old lady who could never remember anything. I told her one day I was preggo and a few weeks passed she came up to me and put her hand on my belly and said "either your having twins or your getting fat!"

I still can hear her voice saying it!

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