Some crazy/funny things that patients did.

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Do you have some memorable moments when your patient did some crazy thing that you had to laugh out loud.Last week my patient decided to purchase chocolate laxative (that suppose to help him,it is called exlax).There are 12 pieces of chocolate and you can only take up to 4 a day,my patient said it tasted good and eat the whole 12 pieces,he did had bowel movement lol ,and turned out to be ok:)))

Asking an elderly man, "do you have angina?" and replies "Heaven's No, that's a female part!"

Listening to an elderly somewhat deaf lady's anterior chest sounds saying "big breaths" and she replies "they used to be."

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Specializes in Med/Surg.

Post-op knee replacement patient who was ordered ice bags to operative knee. "Mr. X where did all your ice go?" "Well I ran out of water and didn't want to call you so I drank it." :idea:

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Specializes in Critical Care, ED, Cath lab, CTPAC,Trauma.
I work the night shift, and I recently had a patient who was in his 50's, and apologized every time he needed something. Finally I told him that it was my job, a job I enjoyed, and he didn't need to apologize. He then very seriously stated "Well I hate to keep waking you up. I know you need sleep too".

:hhmth:I just spit coffe all over the computer!

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Specializes in MPH Student Fall/14, Emergency, Research.

I had a pt once in clinicals who was only oriented to person and kept peeing off the side of the bed. There was a lot of mopping involved. I thought that was an understandable, situational thing (he thought he was outside)...

However, reading how many stories on here are about bizarre AOx3 poop and pee habits, I am very afraid.

Would it be wildly inappropriate to ask AOx3/able-bodied Mr. Poop on the Floor to clean it up? Because that's what I'd be inclined to do.

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not so funny but ever to true... pooped in the urinal ( kind of)

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Also had a lady that tried to use the wastebasket to tinkle. Her little skinny behind got stuck in there and she sank down into it. While she was trying to escape the wastebasket fell over but she was still stuck in it. Apparently it never occurred to her to call for help. No, when she was discovered 20 minutes later it was because somebody heard her tapping on the floor with her knuckles!!!

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Specializes in Psychiatric and home health Peds..

Ok where should I start. Right now I have a patient that says he drinks wookie milk, how one milks a wookie I am not quite sure and I am not going to ask. I have met Jesus, Moses and a naked man that talked to animals in his front yard. He would not even keep his clothes on while I did his admission so when he stood up I of course had to stand up for obvious reasons. I admitted a patient once that called an ambulance because his right leg hurt from driving with his left arm out the window, he was from Colorado and I am in Illinois. Guess he wanted to take a little road trip. Some day when I am lucky enough to have time I may write a book and title it The Life and Times of a Psych Nurse: and the many unbelievable people I have met.

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Specializes in PeriOperative.
Just before everyone started taking a treat she said "I hope you will like the brownies. I used some of the milk from the breast pump"

I know a nurse who made breast milk banana bread for a bunch of PITA surgery residents. She told them about the secret ingredient AFTER they had enjoyed their treat.

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I was working triage when the cutest 80yo woman approaching the desk. I asked her if she needed to see a physician and she replied "yes, I'm contaminated." I asked her to come around to the triage desk, she walked right past me toward a trash can a dropped her grocery bag full of medicine in the trash! I exclaimed "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" and she replied with "I told you, I'm contaminated!" I fished her meds out of the garbage and proceeded to ask her what was wrong. She went on for 30 or so minutes talking about her neighbor who was supposedly "embezzelling" money from her...at the end of her rant, I directed her to the waiting room. As she left, she comments "you need to destroy everything in this room, it's biohazardous because I'm contaminated!" Turned out she had spilt coffee on herself earlier that morning and thought it was biohazardous!!

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Specializes in ICU, Intermediate Care, Progressive Care.

This is a great thread, I've been laughing since I opened it. :D Keep 'em coming.

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Specializes in School Nursing.
had an old granny midwife tell me how to cure asthma: smell a goat every day. i kid you not.

no pun intended?

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Specializes in Critical Care.

This thread put a huge smile on my face after a long day! :D Keep 'em coming!

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