I was working triage when the cutest 80yo woman approaching the desk. I asked her if she needed to see a physician and she replied "yes, I'm contaminated." I asked her to come around to the triage desk, she walked right past me toward a trash can a dropped her grocery bag full of medicine in the trash! I exclaimed "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" and she replied with "I told you, I'm contaminated!" I fished her meds out of the garbage and proceeded to ask her what was wrong. She went on for 30 or so minutes talking about her neighbor who was supposedly "embezzelling" money from her...at the end of her rant, I directed her to the waiting room. As she left, she comments "you need to destroy everything in this room, it's biohazardous because I'm contaminated!" Turned out she had spilt coffee on herself earlier that morning and thought it was biohazardous!!