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Social Media Worry

Posted

Specializes in pediatrics. Has 10 years experience.

So, MA DPH announced that all students K-12 + college are required to have a flu vaccine by 12/31/20. I posted a snarky FB status about how many people will suddenly have religious exemptions this year and a former friend (and VEHEMENT anti-vaxxer) has now effectively threatened to report me to my school district for "religious discrimination". My FB is "private" (but is it really that private?) and she has since sent me private messages saying she would never report me, but I am now very worried. Does anyone have any experience with this? Should I just delete my account now? I've been considering it for the past several years because I Just feel like FB is mentally draining anyway, and this would be the straw that broke the camel's back...

scuba nurse, BSN, MSN, RN

Specializes in School Nursing, Pediatrics. Has 31 years experience.

You can delete your comment, but you cant trust that she hasn't taken a screen shot of it. You could delete her as friend (but then she would find out and maybe even more mad) or block her from seeing your posts, but keep her as a friend, as well, and make your account more private if you havent already done so. I wouldnt trust her one bit. Her argument is weak too, you didn't say anything discriminatory about any specific religion. Plus schools have WAY too much to deal with right now than this.

I am in MA as well, and while I am totally with you, I feel the same way. I don't agree with the mandate at all. It will cause a lot more problems, I already have issues getting parents to bring students to get caught up on the vaccines they DO need, never mind a flu shot. Though DPH usually does flu clinics at all our city schools every year, I think parents might actually use this service this year if they do it. Usually I have about 30 students out of 400 that sign up. And you know what, I might claim religious exemption for my own children, we have never gotten flu shots and I am not about to start now, especially since they are remote.

JenTheSchoolRN, BSN, RN

Specializes in School nursing.

1 hour ago, k1p1ssk said:

So, MA DPH announced that all students K-12 + college are required to have a flu vaccine by 12/31/20. I posted a snarky FB status about how many people will suddenly have religious exemptions this year and a former friend (and VEHEMENT anti-vaxxer) has now effectively threatened to report me to my school district for "religious discrimination". My FB is "private" (but is it really that private?) and she has since sent me private messages saying she would never report me, but I am now very worried. Does anyone have any experience with this? Should I just delete my account now? I've been considering it for the past several years because I Just feel like FB is mentally draining anyway, and this would be the straw that broke the camel's back...

Honestly, you will be fine, I think.

2 minutes ago, scuba nurse said:

You can delete your comment, but you cant trust that she hasn't taken a screen shot of it. You could delete her as friend (but then she would find out and maybe even more mad) or block her from seeing your posts, but keep her as a friend, as well, and make your account more private if you havent already done so. I wouldnt trust her one bit. Her argument is weak too, you didn't say anything discriminatory about any specific religion. Plus schools have WAY too much to deal with right now than this.

I am in MA as well, and while I am totally with you, I feel the same way. I don't agree with the mandate at all. It will cause a lot more problems, I already have issues getting parents to bring students to get caught up on the vaccines they DO need, never mind a flu shot. Though DPH usually does flu clinics at all our city schools every year, I think parents might actually use this service this year if they do it. Usually I have about 30 students out of 400 that sign up. And you know what, I might claim religious exemption for my own children, we have never gotten flu shots and I am not about to start now, especially since they are remote.

See, I'm all in with this mandate from a public health viewpoint. But I also work in a district that has a very high compliance rate for the flu shot and is in a very dense urban area. The flu hit us hard last Winter and I'm very worried community wise abotu this upcoming Winter.

Re: FB. I'm often cautious here myself with posting, but if you have linked your employer to your account, unlink it. I also use a different name on FB vs my legal name.

BrisketRN, BSN, RN

Has 4 years experience.

Oh man, I doubt your district would have time for this minor BS during this crazy time. Anyways, I always avoid sharing where I work (though I guess that's an easy linkedin look up) on social media, but I'd stay far away from that lady.

k1p1ssk, BSN, RN

Specializes in pediatrics. Has 10 years experience.

Thank you all for your perspective. I unfriended her as soon as she made the "threat". At that point she started sending me DMs, continuing to tell me how stupid it was that I publicly posted that because someone could report me, which that is what worries me the most, that she did screenshot it and is laying in wait. We went back and forth and I finally just told her I was sorry if I offended her, that I was taking the post down, and wished her well. She continued to message me but I'm done responding. I have alerted my nurse leader that the exchange occurred, and apologized for posting in the first place. She agreed that the district likely would not even entertain a complaint like this, especially in this time, but you never know. Sigh. I really hate social media now, but it is so ingrained in my life it is difficult to remember that people can be nasty, even so called friends.

ruby_jane, BSN, RN

Specializes in ICU/community health/school nursing. Has 12 years experience.

It's a good reminder to me not to share no matter how much I think it's benign. For the record, your comment was funny, probably spot-on, has likely been screen-shotted BUT won't get you into too much hot water because....it's our lived experience, no?

JadedCPN, BSN, RN

Specializes in Pediatrics, Pediatric Float, PICU, NICU. Has 15 years experience.

On 8/20/2020 at 2:47 PM, ruby_jane said:

It's a good reminder to me not to share no matter how much I think it's benign. For the record, your comment was funny, probably spot-on, has likely been screen-shotted BUT won't get you into too much hot water because....it's our lived experience, no?

While this SHOULD be the case, unfortunately nowadays something like this could definitely get a nurse into hot water.

It is one of the many reasons I gave up social media years ago. It's just not worth it, and no matter how private you think it is, it isn't.

ruby_jane, BSN, RN

Specializes in ICU/community health/school nursing. Has 12 years experience.

16 hours ago, JadedCPN said:

While this SHOULD be the case, unfortunately nowadays something like this could definitely get a nurse into hot water.

It is one of the many reasons I gave up social media years ago. It's just not worth it, and no matter how private you think it is, it isn't.

"It's a good reminder to me not to share no matter how much I think it's benign."

Flare, ASN, BSN

Specializes in school nursing, ortho, trauma.

While I would have no idea what you posted, I don't see how you making a statement that a sudden flu vaccine mandate would spur an uptick in "religious" exemption claims can be misconstrued as "religious discrimination". If anything, your former friend should be more offended by the people who have these sudden religious awakenings in lightof new vaccine laws, as it cheapens any meaning behind their religious tenets.

InHisImage, BSN

Specializes in ER, Occupational Health. Has 14 years experience.

25 minutes ago, Flare said:

While I would have no idea what you posted, I don't see how you making a statement that a sudden flu vaccine mandate would spur an uptick in "religious" exemption claims can be misconstrued as "religious discrimination". If anything, your former friend should be more offended by the people who have these sudden religious awakenings in lightof new vaccine laws, as it cheapens any meaning behind their religious tenets.

There's no way to know if a given religious exemption is a "sudden religious awakening." If flu shots were not previously required, no exemption would have been needed until now, so no way to know if it was "sudden" or not.

Edited by InHisImage
punctuation

RNNPICU, BSN, RN

Specializes in PICU. Has 13 years experience.

I can understand your concern about your post as people tend to be screenshot happy. It is for concerns like this that I only post happy thoughts and stuff...

Notifying you supervisor was wise.

I appreciate that you definitely took the high road. Some people really will take offense to everything.

I am sure many of us have had your thoughts as well.

Wishing you the best.

Flare, ASN, BSN

Specializes in school nursing, ortho, trauma.

17 hours ago, InHisImage said:

There's no way to know if a given religious exemption is a "sudden religious awakening." If flu shots were not previously required, no exemption would have been needed until now, so no way to know if it was "sudden" or not.

Typically, you cant' pick and choose your vaccines based on religion. Often it's all or nothing. If the child has received all of their routine vaccines in the past and suddenly they are now claiming that they won't vaccinate because of their religion, then one can assume that they have either changed religions or are now interpreting something with new guidance. I mean unless people just use religious exemption as an excuse to not get an immunization when it isn't actually a bonafide tenet of their beliefs.

MegWorth

Has 11 years experience.

On 8/20/2020 at 9:10 AM, k1p1ssk said:

Thank you all for your perspective. I unfriended her as soon as she made the "threat". At that point she started sending me DMs, continuing to tell me how stupid it was that I publicly posted that because someone could report me, which that is what worries me the most, that she did screenshot it and is laying in wait. We went back and forth and I finally just told her I was sorry if I offended her, that I was taking the post down, and wished her well. She continued to message me but I'm done responding. I have alerted my nurse leader that the exchange occurred, and apologized for posting in the first place. She agreed that the district likely would not even entertain a complaint like this, especially in this time, but you never know. Sigh. I really hate social media now, but it is so ingrained in my life it is difficult to remember that people can be nasty, even so called friends.

You handle yourself well. Some people are too sensitive and petty. Threatening people’s livelihood because you didn’t like their joke or opinion is beyond ridiculous. Some people are so miserable with themselves that they have no problem ruining other people’s lives. You sound like a very kind person and I am happy your nurse leader has your back. Think happy thoughts!

DannyBoy8, RN

Has 4 years experience.

facebook is for social and vacation pictures. Leave it at the and you'll never have another worry.

beachynurse, ASN, BSN

Specializes in School Nursing. Has 36 years experience.

On 8/26/2020 at 8:52 AM, Flare said:

Typically, you cant' pick and choose your vaccines based on religion. Often it's all or nothing. If the child has received all of their routine vaccines in the past and suddenly they are now claiming that they won't vaccinate because of their religion, then one can assume that they have either changed religions or are now interpreting something with new guidance. I mean unless people just use religious exemption as an excuse to not get an immunization when it isn't actually a bonafide tenet of their beliefs.

Unless you live in my school disctrict... LOL. They can pick and choose and I don't have a leg to stand on.. Our form is rediculous.

k1p1ssk, BSN, RN

Specializes in pediatrics. Has 10 years experience.

3 hours ago, beachynurse said:

Unless you live in my school disctrict... LOL. They can pick and choose and I don't have a leg to stand on.. Our form is rediculous.

I feel for you. We don't have a standard exemption form, it's up to the parents to provide a letter that mentions the state law, but that is easy enough to Google, which is why we don't have a form! If you can be bothered to "educate" yourself on how "harmful" vaccines are, you can figure out how to exempt your children from them without my help!

I think you've already heard some sage truth from a few folks here. Your remark, as you relayed it to us, seems pretty benign. It would be a real stretch to show that your remark amounts to discrimination, and I expect most school boards would dismiss any such claim as quickly as they could. (Your old friend isn't related to a senator, are they? 😁) Even if the claim were assiduously pursued, I think it would be hard to prove. My only additional advice was going to be that, especially since this is a former friend, good communication is usually..., well, good. But you say you've tried that, too. I still might say that, if your xfriend's messages continue, and if their tone becomes less combative, reopening that channel might not hurt. As for ditching social media, I think more folks should try it. Or at least dial it WAAAY back. Otherwise, I think I'm just chiming in to be one more voice in the chorus saying, "don't sweat it."

k1p1ssk, BSN, RN

Specializes in pediatrics. Has 10 years experience.

8 hours ago, noneYet said:

I think you've already heard some sage truth from a few folks here. Your remark, as you relayed it to us, seems pretty benign. It would be a real stretch to show that your remark amounts to discrimination, and I expect most school boards would dismiss any such claim as quickly as they could. (Your old friend isn't related to a senator, are they? 😁) Even if the claim were assiduously pursued, I think it would be hard to prove. My only additional advice was going to be that, especially since this is a former friend, good communication is usually..., well, good. But you say you've tried that, too. I still might say that, if your xfriend's messages continue, and if their tone becomes less combative, reopening that channel might not hurt. As for ditching social media, I think more folks should try it. Or at least dial it WAAAY back. Otherwise, I think I'm just chiming in to be one more voice in the chorus saying, "don't sweat it."

 While the messages continued for another hour or so beyond my last response to her, I stopped responding and "left her on read". She seems to have gotten the hint and hasn't reached out any more. This is the same person who moved out of state because Mass banned flavored vapes. Vape = lyfe and vaccines = death in her mind, apparently. The funny thing is that this whole shebang happened after I made a conscious decision to step away from FB at the beginning of March due to the rampant COVID misinformation being spread around.  I'm back on the "just keep scrolling" mentality. Sometimes I wonder why I'm a nurse when I despise people so much 😜