So I have a few questions about my GPA.

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My mom called me today at school to inform me that she thought I was slacking and doing a crappy job in school because I got a B in OB clinical. But some background about my situation should be given:

I am a junior nursing major in a BSN programs at a moderate sized university in Pennsylvania. The program here is rated second in the state according my knowledge. I have as yet to get an A in a nursiing course. I have gotten a B in every nursing course except for a C in my first fundamentals course (bombed a midterm) My overall GPA is 3.27. I work as a CNA during the summer and winter breaks at a nursing home. I am also a pledge member of Alpha Tau Delta.

Some info on my mother (important to mention I feel). She has been an elementary school teacher for about 30 years. She was poor growing up, and had to work three jobs, about 50 hours a week and go to school. She has gotten all the way to her masters degree in education. She has had a perfect 4.0 the whole way through getting her education.

She came down on me hard and said I was not going to get a job if I continued the way I am. I feel like I am going to school just to please her, and she even said I was "slacking" even though I stayed up till 11:30 last night, studied for 5 hours, for a test that is 3 entire weeks from now. Like I'm getting upset and really discouraged when my own mother is telling me I am doing a real crappy job. She has done this in the past, and it really does make me feel like crap. Any advice? Am I doing bad? I know education isn't a walk in the park, but education and nursing are VERY different. Thanks for the advice.

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Specializes in Hospitalist Medicine.

Do YOU feel you're doing bad? Getting a B isn't slacking in my book. Barely getting a passing grade and doing the bare minimum to get by is slacking off. It sounds like you need to explain to your Mom how different nursing school is from other programs. How the exams are unlike typical college exams, etc.

She may not realize how she's making you feel by what she's saying to you. Be open & honest with her.

(((((Hugs)))))

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You're doing just fine. Some people wish they could get B's in nursing courses. Your mom just doesn't seem to understand that nursing school is different.

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Not really do I feel like I am doing bad per say, but I wish I was doing a little better.

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Do good in school for YOU not your mother or anyone else. I know she is your mom and wants you to succeed, but she isn't being very supportive. Kindly remind her that nursing school is nothing like an education major and getting B's in nursing school is an accomplishment. It sounds like you are doing great so keep it up!

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Specializes in Critical Care, Education.

I am a mother, nurse & educator. From my perspective (having the benefit of both types of educational experiences) there is no way to really compare the educational "difficulty" of the two courses of study: nursing vs. education.

The only 'practice' portion of an education degree is student teaching... and this is done in a very predictable, controlled environment - with a very homogenous population (pre-K, elem, HS, etc). On the other extreme.. nursing clinical education requires a much higher level of student performance and engagement. They must have mastery of a very large body of knowledge which they are expected to appropriately apply in an unpredictable, continuously changing environment. Grading scales & performance expectations are MUCH higher for nursing students. Heck, just based on the grading scale, chances are that that "B" in OB would have been an "A" in an education course.

As a mother I simply cannot fathom this type of negative uber-critical comment. It would be different if the grade was low or problems due to absences ... but a B in a clinical course is good stuff. Mom needs to back off.

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I tried explaining that to her and she said that me complaining about having to balance 7 or 8 patients, isn't bad because she has over 30 students in her classroom. I hate her, I really do. I bust my ass and she tells me I am doing nothing but slacking, and proceeds to call me unprofessional? I hate it, I really do.

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Specializes in Trauma, Teaching.

You will run into administrators, patient families, the general public, who will be verbally in appropriate. Put on your professional face and demeanor, answer calmly (don't buy into the drama). "Mom, I am actually doing well, and am studying to be even better. Clinicals have no comparison to classrooms, and every nurse educator will tell you the same. I am not slacking, this is the last time I will speak of it. Please don't bring up the subject again."

If she starts on the phone, hang up. If she is in your house, get up, open the front door, and leave the room. If you are at her house, get and leave, drive away.

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Kinda hard to do at this point seeing as I live with her and she is paying for my education, but I get the jist of it.

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Time to wean away from mom.

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I think you need to politely tell you mother that her constant berating is putting you in a bad place. It may seem frightening at first but if she respects you not only as child but as an adult she will understand and back off. You may also feel as though you may need to 'take' such treatment because you are from what I read financially dependent on her. I knew a lot of students like yourself when I was completing my BS degree in your position. They even allowed their parents to choose their major for them because the parent was paying for it. If that is what your are doing you may end up more miserable in the long run. It may seem scary but you may want to consider on becoming financially independent from your mom. Once you become 'independent' you may feel like she has less of a hold on you and you will be able to speak up for yourself. Remember that is a big difference in speaking up for yourself and being disrespectful. No matter what your mom says to you I would never encourage you to disrespect her. You can get your point across in an respectful and adult way.

P.S. If you feel as though YOU are doing the best job that you can do at this time. I would pay very little attention to moms words. That's just me though.

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Specializes in OB-Gyn/Primary Care/Ambulatory Leadership.

Move out and figure out a way to pay your own way. You're an adult - both you and your mother need to realize that.

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