So I have a few questions about my GPA.

[Rocktheman]

My mom called me today at school to inform me that she thought I was slacking and doing a crappy job in school because I got a B in OB clinical. But some background about my situation should be given:

I am a junior nursing major in a BSN programs at a moderate sized university in Pennsylvania. The program here is rated second in the state according my knowledge. I have as yet to get an A in a nursiing course. I have gotten a B in every nursing course except for a C in my first fundamentals course (bombed a midterm) My overall GPA is 3.27. I work as a CNA during the summer and winter breaks at a nursing home. I am also a pledge member of Alpha Tau Delta.

Some info on my mother (important to mention I feel). She has been an elementary school teacher for about 30 years. She was poor growing up, and had to work three jobs, about 50 hours a week and go to school. She has gotten all the way to her masters degree in education. She has had a perfect 4.0 the whole way through getting her education.

She came down on me hard and said I was not going to get a job if I continued the way I am. I feel like I am going to school just to please her, and she even said I was "slacking" even though I stayed up till 11:30 last night, studied for 5 hours, for a test that is 3 entire weeks from now. Like I'm getting upset and really discouraged when my own mother is telling me I am doing a real crappy job. She has done this in the past, and it really does make me feel like crap. Any advice? Am I doing bad? I know education isn't a walk in the park, but education and nursing are VERY different. Thanks for the advice.

[JBudd, MSN]

First off, B's are not idiocy! For heaven's sake go open an account under your own name and SS number. Don't ask, just take out enough of YOUR money and open one. Apply for a credit card, just either don't use it or pay it off every single month (even in small amounts) so that you begin to earn your own credit.

Study in the library, anywhere that gets you out of the house.

Go see a school counselor... it is part of your fees, and it sounds like you really need to talk to someone face to face. Financial advisors are usually available too, they can help you find a bank that works with students. You need to start taking some control, even if you decide to stay with your mum at this time.

[LadyFree28, BSN, LPN, RN]

First off, B's are not idiocy! For heaven's sake go open an account under your own name and SS number. Don't ask, just take out enough of YOUR money and open one. Apply for a credit card, just either don't use it or pay it off every single month (even in small amounts) so that you begin to earn your own credit.

Study in the library, anywhere that gets you out of the house.

Go see a school counselor... it is part of your fees, and it sounds like you really need to talk to someone face to face. Financial advisors are usually available too, they can help you find a bank that works with students. You need to start taking some control, even if you decide to stay with your mum at this time.

Well said!

OP, again, you should not be feeling like crap; the most you can do is seek out counseling to help you with your insight and with these feelings, you should not be berated and felt like you are at your mercy of your parents, especially when you are passing you classes; your previous post you were in a crisis mode because of your mom's pressure.

PLEASE seek some help, ASAP; it won't get better until you do something about it.

[geffen]

You are doing great. Nursing school is harder than most majors in college. I remember my friends getting easy A's in Creative Writing while I was killing myself in Chem and Microbiology, let alone these nursing classes where you have to memorize entire systems in a few days. Or when I missed one day of clinical when I had the flu and my instructor made me write a 10 page paper on Aortic Abdominal Aneurisms ugh!

[mrsboots87]

Ha. I totally realized that when I posted and then forgot to edit. I feel like one of the jerks who calls all nurses "she" when there are quite a few males as well. Oops. Sorry.

[mrsboots87]

You are doing great. Nursing school is harder than most majors in college. I remember my friends getting easy A's in Creative Writing while I was killing myself in Chem and Microbiology, let alone these nursing classes where you have to memorize entire systems in a few days. Or when I missed one day of clinical when I had the flu and my instructor made me write a 10 page paper on Aortic Abdominal Aneurisms ugh!

Hey, my patient in clinical this week had one of those. There was no other point behind this post then to say that

[shakes320]

While I agree that Windsurfer's comments should be taken with a grain of salt, especially as he/she offered no constructive criticism, I don't necessarily disagree with everything that poster said. I agree that life is rough and sometimes you just have to suck it up:) I also think that the rest of the posters on here need to take ALL posts with a grain of salt. We don't know the entire situation; there are three sides to every story, and we've only heard one.

To the original poster,

I'm sorry that you're not seeing eye to eye with your mom. I promise that there are solutions to this. One of them, however, is not to get on a public forum and say that you "hate her". This smacks of immaturity. You breathe because of her, and she deserves respect simply for this reason. She also deserves the right to tell her side of the story and defend her character; you have given her neither.

However, it is also not OK for her to make you feel crappy over a 3.27--that is awesome, especially for nursing school:) I've read a lot of the suggestions saying that you should sit her down and calmly tell her that nursing school is different than other programs. It seems to me that her response to the 8 patients vs. 30 students suggest that a mere conversation may not be effective. It also seems that a conversation may escalate quickly to an argument; as you live in her house and she pays your tuition, this is counter-productive at best.

To that end, I suggest this; your mom is an educator, so educate her. Go online, do the research, and find the stats indicating that a 3.27 GPA is not only normal in nursing school, but pretty amazing. I guarantee the information is out there. Above and beyond that, you can get letters of recommendation from professors and clinical instructors stating your strengths and abilities thus far. So prove to her, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that you're not slacking. After all, as a teacher, she can hardly argue with the facts, can she?

Best of luck:)

PS Please don't take this as berating...just some friendly advice:)

[windsurfer8, BSN, RN]

Take my post with a grain of salt? The OP was asking questions about better grades so I stated study more or change your study methods. Is that not "constructive criticism?" Why does anyone telling people to wipe away their tears and stop blaming their parents, the school, the police, the government, instantly mean they are not "caring." Sympathy is straight up not effective in people who feel they are victims. And when this person blames her mom for expecting her to do well in school...well the solution is right there. 1. keep doing what you are doing. 2. do something else. The OP is an adult and if they do not like what their mother says then move out and go on with your life. Stand up for yourself. DO what you want to do. I am not antagonizing...I telling an ADULT who is WHINING about their mother to grow a pair and toughen up a little. Everyone wants to feel sorry for everyone. Have you ever been to Japan? I lived there for 4 years. You want to talk about expectations. Here we just "feel sorry" for everyone. And don't forget NURSES..there are two sides to every story. Go to a inpatient youth psych unit and see what lack of any parenting gets you. Lack of rules...lack of someone pushing to survive in society. I would say it is simple...Acute case of reality.

[klone, MSN, RN]

The OP is HE, not SHE.

[NICUmiiki, DNP, NP]

Why does she know your grades in the first place? If she isn't going to be supportive, just tell her you have As.

[Spangle Brown]

Be honest. I also had a controlling Mom and screwed up my education from this kind of talk. But that was years and years ago. But this is part of the cutting of the apron strings sort of thing. She is trying to push you to do better, to 'make it." But as you noted, she has no clue to what she is talking about at this point. That is a hard situation for a Parent and figuring out their role in all this.

Time to be honest and have 'the talk.' Time to let her know that worked before, isn't working now. And is actually causing harm. It IS cutting into your confidence. As it stands, the way she is 'tackling this' is pushing you to fail. Is that her goal??? As a teacher, she has been taught the importance of building up confidence in her students and that being over critical is harmful.

Since she does not see the difference in dealing with 30 students and dealing with several patients, maybe she is not ready for her daughter to become more advanced then her. For some, it's impossible for them to visualize their child in a higher roll, more educated, etc then themselves. And they WILL cause issues. Wither they realize this or not.

She does not realize it, because she doesn't understand how nursing is taught and graded. Maybe have her to talk to nursing instructors about these differences in nursing and teaching.

Either way, it's time to have 'the talk' with Mom. Show her you love her and love the support she gives you. But your growing up and need a different type of support now. But that kind of change doesn't happen until both the CHILD and the parent is ready to make that move. You have to do your part.

[caliotter3]

If you are not ready to move out on your own, then you will have to learn how to shut your mother's criticism out. Turn around and walk away. Spend as much time as possible out of the house. Go to your bedroom and lock the door behind you. Spend your time on the back porch, when she walks out there to berate you, stand up and walk away. Leave the house with your books every time she gets on your case. If you don't know how to tune her out she will succeed in driving you crazy. Realize that her unreasonable criticism is the rent you pay to live under her roof. When you decide to pay your own rent somewhere else, be it for an apartment or a rented room, you won't have to put up with her any longer!