Single Parents Nurses and Nursing Students

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I am pregnant and due in Jan 2009. I am deferring nursing school now and will attend August 2009 in a 16 month BSN program. Class schedule is about 8-4 M-F but occasionally I will have to be available some nights and weekends. I am going to school at Duke and I am not from NC. I have no family and one friend in med school so support will be close to little or none.

Are there any single parents in nursing school or . How is it? How do you afford everything while in school? Who keeps your child while you work or attend school?

Please help and comments questions or suggestions are welcomed. I am afraid that I may not be able to attend school as planned. Is it possible? I am sure it will be difficult

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Child care is the most expensive part. I have a really hard time because I have to work, so I have to find a sitter while I work, then if you want to go to school you have to get another sitter and pay for that one too...

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I don't want to rain on your parade but IT'S GONNA BE HARD. REALLY HARD. I just finished a 14 mos. LPN program, and am a single mom of adolescents. I cannot IMAGINE tackling a BSN program with an infant and no/little family support. PLEASE re-think, or re-plan. You will be burning the candle at both ends and the first to suffer will be your baby. If you can go part-time, maybe it is possible. But family/friends support is essential. 8-4 turns into 7-5 PLUS endless studying which leaves little to no time for anything but the bare essentials (eating, sleeping). Nursing will still be there if you decide to wait until you are in a better situation. Don't rush, you CANNOT comfortably care for strangers, when your baby is being cared for by strangers (not you/not family). If finances are an issue, save up until baby is in school and THEN start a program. Please, please be careful with your decision. The world will STILL need nurses in 4 years!

Good luck!

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Specializes in ICU/ER.

As the mom of 4 that has a husband (who at times is as needy as a kid) it is going to be difficult to say the least.

I am sure your heart is set on Duke, but have you looked into programs locally where you will have friends and family near by to call on for help??

I am not bashing day care at all I have used them...but here are the facts, your baby will get sick, they will get sick from day care, day care will not take your sick baby. Babies can get sick with in an hour, one minute fine, next minute fever of 102. SO that means you will have to miss school and worse yet clinicals. I say worse yet, cause you will have to make those up. So that means more time away from home/baby.

I have no family in my town, but I have wonderful friends and a day care I can trust. I also have a husband who owns his own business so when I had to leave my house at 0530 to be at clinical on time--I didnt have to worry about getting the kids up and ready, he could take them to school /day care and be a bit late.

There were a few weeks here and there when he was out of town and they were very tough weeks--my little guy once said "Why do i have to go to school at night?" because I had to take him to daycare at 0600. --fyi that was the earliest they opened so that meant I not only had to speed up to clinicals, then I had to run in the parking lot to try and get to the floor on time--as stressful start to my day!!!

Best of luck--only you know how much you can handle, think of that and then multiply it by ten as that is what nursing school and parenting equal to stress wise!!!

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Specializes in Tele,CCU,ER.

dearest keylati,

I'm sorry, but I'm going to disagree with everyone else. I just graduated with a BSN last may and also just had a baby. She is nine months old now...YOU CANDO IT...trust me. I got pregnant junior year of nursing school with just my mom by my side!!! I worked fulltime and went to school fulltime. I went into labor while working as a student worker!!! I gave birth and went back after two days to take midterms...I have a babysitter and take care of my baby in the afternoons...you can do it...dont let anyone tell you otherwise...There will be days when you will be really frustrated, but trust me when you graduate you will feel so proud of what you have done...!!! I'm rooting for you...and good luck on your studies fellow nurse mom!!!

Clara

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Specializes in Medical, Paeds, Ob gyn, NICU.

I am a single mum with four kids. :heartbeat

My youngest was 6 months old when I started my RN degree (3 years), and my eldest was 13.

Yes it is hard work, and yes you will have to sacrifice to do it.

However.....

I do not regret one second of it. My kids are now 4, 6, 13 and 16. I am now 6months into my grad year at the hospital, and loving every second I am at work. I also graduated with awards for high acheivement.

I put my kids into daycare during the day and got a babysitter for out of hours care if I needed them. I am still ahead money wise compared to what I got on the sole-parent payment from the government. Also I have set a fantastic example for my kids and by having a job where I can always find work I have guarenteed their future.

How can that be a bad thing :yeah:

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Specializes in icu, er, transplant, case management, ps.

My daughter was twenty-one months old when I returned to get my associates. I also worked full time. My daughter was in day care, taken there by my mother, picked up when she finished worked and taken home to my parents house. Without my parents help, in taking care of my daughter, I would never have made it through school. I had to manage my time, so I could do my reading, research and write papers, study and take exams.

Woody

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Specializes in ED, MICU/TICU, NICU, PICU, LTAC.

Have you considered not going through such an accelerated program? I'm a single mom of a two-year-old, and I'm going through a regular 2-year ADN college, with plans to continue to my Master's via a "bridge" program (lots of colleges are offering this now). My class load is intensive, but manageable: my lecture days are Monday and Wednesday from 9-11 and 9-12, respectively, my clinicals are Tuesdays from 6:45-3, and lab is on Fridays from 8:30-10:30. While I'm in class my son is in daycare at KidZone, and yes, I do get to pay a reduced rate because I'm a single mom in school...there are a ton of programs, both federal and state, that are designed to help you through school, some of them especially for nurses. I also work 3 nights a week as a bartender, and I carefully plan every single thing I do around time with my son, school, and work. Things are tight right now, but I know that it's only temporary. I couldn't imagine trying to slam through 2 year's worth of classes in only 16 months with an infant! Though it will take a little longer, I think if you consider slowing your pace (slowing, not stopping!) you won't miss all the amazing things your baby will be doing that first year! Whatever you decide, best of luck!

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Thanks to all for your comments suggestions and concerns. I am so grateful to hear your stories. They are eye opening and encouraging. I am still undecided. And please feel free to continue to write I will keep you update on my decision.

As for support, my friends are moving to NYC, my mom lives 2 hours away the dad will be going to school 2 hours away that is if I remain in GA. If I go to Duke my mom will be 8 hours away the day will be about 10 hours away and I have one friend at Duke who will be 4th year in med school. I am excited about being a mother but not about doing it alone completely with no support I just dont see how it would work. I am a fighter and my heart is telling me I can do anything. My mind is telling me that I have made so many bad decisions lately following my heart that now it is just time to use plain old common sense. But whether I go to Duke or stay and work at CDC I will be on my own with no support. I guess the main difference I will be working versus in school.

But I don't want to continue doing something I am not passionate about it is so draining. The other option which I am considereing is to find a job at CDC doing something I am interested and passionate about and truley enjoy doing. Attempt to complete a PhD program part-time since I have at least 24 transferable credits towards a PhD, UNC has a 3 year online program that is possible and or attend a school locally the baby could come to class with me in the evenings and day care during the day. And I get my PhD and just continue to work in pulic health. And give up on the idea of becoming a nurse or go back in 4 years but then I will no be so up for more school.

As for support, my friends are moving to NYC, my mom lives 2 hours away the dad will be going to school 2 hours away that is if I remain in GA. If I go to Duke my mom will be 8 hours away the day will be about 10 hours away and I have one friend at Duke who will be 4th year in med school. I am excited about being a mother but not about doing it alone completely with no support I just dont see how it would work. I am a fighter and my heart is telling me I can do anything. My mind is telling me that I have made so many bad decisions lately following my heart that now it is just time to use plain old common sense. But whether I go to Duke or stay and work at CDC I will be on my on with no support. I guess the main difference I will be working versus in school. But I don't want to continue doing something I am not passionate about it is so draining.

The other option which I am considereing is to find a job at CDC doing something I am interested and passionate about and truley enjoy doing. Attempt to complete a PhD program part-time since I have at least 24 transferable credits towards a PhD, UNC has a 3 year online program that is possible and the baby could come to class with me in the evenings and day care during the day. And I get my PhD and just continue to work in pulic health. And give up on the idea of becoming a nurse or go back in 4 years but then I will no be so up for more school.

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Specializes in Oncology, Med Surg, Ortho.

I have to agree with Berryhappy. Nursing programs like yours are very intensive. I did nursing school as a single parent with a Saturday job and an early morning paper route and it just about killed me even with some family support. #1 is your child, and as she says, nursing school will be there in 5 years. I'm the last person to dissuade someone from following their dreams so I'm saying yes to nursing, but no to next year. You will be biting off more than you can chew I'm afraid.

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I kicked my husband out and got a divorce a little over halfway into my 2 yr ADN program. My son had just turned three. I couldn't have finished school without my parents' help. (My ex has never been any help since our divorce. Well, he wasn't all that much help when we were married, either.) My parents helped financially but the biggest help was keeping him when I was at work, at school or needed to study. I couldn't even do my job as an RN now without their help - they pick him up from my house on days when I work to take him to preschool and they pick him up from school, too (I work 7a-7p). I could never do any of this without family help.

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dearest keylati,

I'm sorry, but I'm going to disagree with everyone else. I just graduated with a BSN last may and also just had a baby. She is nine months old now...YOU CAN DO IT...trust me. I got pregnant junior year of nursing school with just my mom by my side!!! I worked fulltime and went to school fulltime. I went into labor while working as a student worker!!! I gave birth and went back after two days to take midterms...I have a babysitter and take care of my baby in the afternoons...you can do it...dont let anyone tell you otherwise...There will be days when you will be really frustrated, but trust me when you graduate you will feel so proud of what you have done...!!! I'm rooting for you...and good luck on your studies fellow nurse mom!!!

Clara

that family support makes a world of a difference.. as the OP stated, she will have NONE.

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