Should mean people be allowed to be mean at work?

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Specializes in Med-surg (peds and adult).

So, I work on a fabulous unit, with mostly very nice people who respect each other and work well together. But, there is one nurse who is just plain mean. She says nasty things and complains about whoever happens to be not around. Her nasty things range from complaining about their work habits, to personal attacks about people's hair or shoes being ugly. When I was orienting, I was told by my preceptor, "That's just her personality". I guess, my feeling is that it's ok for her to be her not-nice self on her own time, but at work, she should tone it down and act like a professional. What do you all think?

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Specializes in OR, Nursing Professional Development.

I think that people have human traits in all walks of life. That means that yes, you will find rude and mean people everywhere. You cannot control how they act/speak, but you can control how you react. You can either let it bother you or you can ignore it and not let it get you down. Other than that, it's on management to address the situation.

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Specializes in Acute Care, Rehab, Palliative.

How would you enforce a " be nice all the time rule"?

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Specializes in Med-surg (peds and adult).

I don't think that's possible. I just think that the, "She's allowed to be disrespectful to co-workers, because that's just how she is" is not right. She has made one of our CNAs cry, and made other nurses feel intimidated. I hate the term "bully", but that's how I would describe someone like this. We don't necessarily have to be nice to our co-workers all the time, but we should at least be respectful. Maybe I'm wrong on that though... My fear is that that attitude will spread (we have a lot of newbies), and I really value our non-toxic work place.

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Specializes in Med/Surg, Ortho, ASC.

I used to work with a very toxic nurse. Spiteful, mean-spirited, etc. Just awful to new grads. When I started there, I simply couldn't believe that an otherwise fair, pro-active employer tolerated her. Whenever I would ask my peers why, the answer always was "she is very close to higher-ups." When I would bring the subject up in my own PA (!) because she had a serious effect on my job satisfaction, I would be told "oh, she has a good heart. If you just stand up to her, she'll leave you alone."

Well, I don't care how good a person's heart is, if they can't control their impulses to destroy their co-workers, they don't belong in the workplace, period. So I don't know what the answer is. I just know that it would be a big mistake to think of this as a "nurse" problem. There are bullies in every office, factory, school & profession.

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You are absolutely correct. I worked on unit where the charge nurse behaved as you described.

Excuses were made.. " that's just like she is"...what kind of excuse IS that?

Then a major health system took over and instituted new rules all the way around. I can't go into specifics.. but one of those rules was.. work in partnership to provide the best patient care. It took awhile, but the nasty one was at least forced to pretend to play nice in the sandbox. Review your facility's policy on this.

I agree she needs to be called out, it CAN be done. Do it.. but do it carefully.

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Also been in that situation, had a few people that were like that. I was told I needed to develop thicker skin when I commented about it... It was a very toxic environment.

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Specializes in Palliative, Onc, Med-Surg, Home Hospice.

I think there isn't much you can do about her, except ignore her and realize she isn't your problem. I have worked with a nurse who was like that (thank the Goddess he transferred to another unit). The best thing you can do is ignore it to the best of your ability unless it impacts patient safety. (Then go to the charge or manager).

Should she allowed to work: Probably. should she change? Definitely. Will she? Probably not. Realize that the previous posters were right, we are going to run into these people in all walks of life, in and out of the hospital. How we react to them is the only thing we can change. And life is too short to worry about everyone else!

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Specializes in Palliative, Onc, Med-Surg, Home Hospice.
I don't think that's possible. I just think that the, "She's allowed to be disrespectful to co-workers, because that's just how she is" is not right. She has made one of our CNAs cry, and made other nurses feel intimidated. I hate the term "bully", but that's how I would describe someone like this. We don't necessarily have to be nice to our co-workers all the time, but we should at least be respectful. Maybe I'm wrong on that though... My fear is that that attitude will spread (we have a lot of newbies), and I really value our non-toxic work place.

If you're co-workers are being made to cry, or affecting patient care, they need to go to management. Eventually, something will have to be done. You can't change that, you can't go to management with their concerns. You can only go with your own. By all means, if it is affecting patient care, something needs to be done. BeenThereDoneThat is right, be very careful.

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Specializes in ICU.

I guess you can let this person rule your life at work, or choose not to. I bet if they are that are in happy at work, they are that unhappy at home. Can you imagine having to live like that? Not me. It sucks the energy right out of you.

I choose to be happy. You can be the most hateful person ever to me, I choose to be happy. I enjoy it. Nothing bothers an unhappy person more than happiness. Seriously. Try it. Don't allow anybody to control your happiness other than you. Period.

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Specializes in ICU, LTACH, Internal Medicine.

People who make others cry and terrorize their colleagues should not be allowed near other people till they change THEIR OWN "attitude" and learn what they were expected to master in kindergarten. In my opinion, such nurse is dangerous as health care worker, and has to be disciplined, up and including stripping her license.

The problem is that, saving for cases of physical harm done AND proven, their every and any action is legal.

Change in upper Powers' actions and attitudes, probably inflicted by low staff retention/new hires attrition (read: people running away from that monster in scrubs) can bring situation to literally screeching stop. Unfortunately, one, or even numerous workers' complains probably wouldn't do it.

My advise would be to get out of there, and as quickly as possible. Each of us has only one life, not worthy of fighting someone else's "attitude".

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Specializes in CHF, Med/Surg, Telemetry, Cardiac Care.

Here are three words to your direct management team that I'm almost 100% sure will get them to perk up and address the issue with your "mean" coworker: "hostile work environment."

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