Should mean people be allowed to be mean at work?

[jessimee]

So, I work on a fabulous unit, with mostly very nice people who respect each other and work well together. But, there is one nurse who is just plain mean. She says nasty things and complains about whoever happens to be not around. Her nasty things range from complaining about their work habits, to personal attacks about people's hair or shoes being ugly. When I was orienting, I was told by my preceptor, "That's just her personality". I guess, my feeling is that it's ok for her to be her not-nice self on her own time, but at work, she should tone it down and act like a professional. What do you all think?

[middleagednurse]

If a co worker walked up to you and smacked you or kicked you in the shin, that would NOT be tolerated. Verbal abuse should not be tolerated either. Of course there can be a fine line between abuse and just being callous, but employers should have zero tolerance for meanness and bullying. This behavior is disruptive to customer service, and makes many people very unhappy. Just because we are nurses, does not mean that we should be subjected to hateful behavior. I quit a job once because I got sick of the bulling, and management would not go there. And no, I am not a "victim" type of person. The world will be a better place when all people are held to standards of decent behavior.

[Ruby Vee, BSN]

If a co worker walked up to you and smacked you or kicked you in the shin, that would NOT be tolerated. Verbal abuse should not be tolerated either. Of course there can be a fine line between abuse and just being callous, but employers should have zero tolerance for meanness and bullying. This behavior is disruptive to customer service, and makes many people very unhappy. Just because we are nurses, does not mean that we should be subjected to hateful behavior. I quit a job once because I got sick of the bulling, and management would not go there. And no, I am not a "victim" type of person. The world will be a better place when all people are held to standards of decent behavior.

The problem with your stance is that someone has to decide the standards of decent behavior. Will it be you? Not unless you're the boss. The boss's standards of decent behavior may vary with your value to the company. A veteran nurse who can handle anything that comes through the door, teach, do charge, precept, write policies and procedures and get that recalcitrant surgeon to pay attention to his postoperative may be far more valuable to the company that a relatively new nurse who needs a lot more seasoning before she can do much more than finish a shift without killing the patient in front of her.

[greenerpastures]

I doubt that calling someone out on their personality is going to cause any immediate change. Someone whose personality tends toward toxic either doesn't actually realize how very toxic they are, or doesn't really care. Their personality may change briefly, but it will change back just as soon as the stress of their life overwhelms any good intentions they might have. A truly unhappy nurse will be able to find fault with everyone there. And she'll be able to tell you exactly what that fault is.

You may find that a few (or even quite a few) brave and assertive individuals will stand up to the toxic nurse, but you will also find that there will always be "victims" who won't. Management probably keeps her around because she's an awesome nurse who can handle whatever is thrown at her and teach it as well. People may not like her, or like to be around her but the smart ones will learn from her.

Toxic people who aren't excellent at their jobs tend to not keep their jobs.

Very true Ruby. I simply meant that by calling it out in front of everyone, others would see that it is not just one person who is being picked on. This sometimes motivates others to stop allowing this sort of treatment as well. Safety in numbers kind of thing.

[Eagle2110, ASN, BSN, APRN]

Should not be allowed. Yes everyone has different personalities but no one should have to work around a toxic person. Being mean without being provoked is what I consider bullying. Now if a co-worker is "mean", dislikes most people and therefore keeps to themselves, then I'm ok with that; we don't have to be friends to work together effectively.

[Eagle2110, ASN, BSN, APRN]

"We don't necessarily have to be nice to our co-workers all the time, but we should at least be respectful."..Exactly! We don't have to be friends to be respectful. I truly believe that some people are just plain miserable and don't mind trying to recruit company.

[CrunchRN, ADN, RN]

Zero tolerance. Everyone should just walk away from her.

[nursemcsleepy, BSN, RN]

My favorite is when I'm told that it's a "cultural difference" for someone to be patronizing and disrespectful to anyone younger or less experienced.

[Caroline123]

The one thing they don't teach in school is tact. Although it should be innate some folks completely miss the mark.

[Wrench Party]

Normally I just ignore the horrible comments and come up with equally horrible comments in my head to say back to these people, but I've been known in the past to walk right up to transgressors and question them directly.

I got tired of listening to a particularly negative coworker talk trash about all of our new grads and other coworkers after multiple shifts together, so I just cussed her out at 0430. Must have worked, because she quit a month after that.