Should I resign or am I overreacting?

Nurses Career Support Nursing Q/A

Do you think it is feasible to stay on a job who's threatening you with the BON and suspending you without providing reason? An incident happened (previous post), but when I asked for the grounds or reason wanting to report to BON I did not receive an answer. This was the response to my "4 page letter asking these questions:” I will not doing anything without giving you a heads up. HR Director and I are meeting at .... I didn't even get an answer as to how long I am suspended. I wanted the answers for a peace of mind and to prepare if necessary, but they're not providing anything. What should I do? Should I have contacted HR first? I never had to deal with a situation like this, and almost have zero guidance. Keep in mind...what I think they would try to present to the board will not stand, because I didn't put anyones safety at harm. Should I resign or am I overreacting?  Thanks in advance for your responses. 

Specializes in Critical Care.
23 hours ago, BaybeeNurse20 said:

@kbrn2002 Oh yes! Believe me I won’t stay there. I am leaving. How would you go about leaving if you were in this situation? My main focus is finding out their plans.. like, what else will they try to come up with to send a complaint to the board? Or if they still decide to report me to the board. 

"My main focus is finding out their plans" - this focus will not help you! I've been here! It's truly, really hard to not focus on that and it took me A VERY LONG TIME to figure this out. Leave ASAP and focus your energy on that. Do not waste a single minute longer on thinking about what their intentions may be. You already understand that their intentions are not good and will not benefit you. That's all you need to know. You will probably never find out the whole story. Don't waste your breath, nor another moment, on these people. 

Specializes in Critical Care.

An idea... (and if others disagree I'm all ears) but if they try to sit you down to fire you, tell them that youre not prepared to have the conversation (maybe Google this or search on Allnurses to find the appropriate words to use) and / or have a written letter to carry with you and be prepared to say "I had already planned on leaving, here's my written notice." Have an email drafted and ready to send immediately after as well for documentation purposes. Be professional and calm. Do not be reactive if this happens (which can take a lot of mental strength but you'll thank yourself later for it). 

End of day, it's just a job. 

Specializes in Critical Care.

Be careful with the recording. IDK where you live - in some places its OK to secretly record. I did the same (mostly for my own sanity) because the gaslighting was unreal. 

Specializes in Critical Care.

EAP is another good resource. It shows that you're trying to improve and recognize your own faults - which is both beneficial for you yourself & it also shows (to anyone else) that you're working on yourself. They are also really great in advising on what to do in these situations. If you decide to do that, really listen to what they say. They cannot report anything you say to your boss. 

Specializes in Oncology/Nephrology/Hemodialysis.

Hi there. 

Well, here is the way I see things and I am only speaking for myself. I would seek legal counsel to address these issues. I refuse to allow anyone to jeopardize my license, career, livelihood, reputation, and my life's work over trumped-up or inflated accusations. 

That place and its people are toxic! I would get the heck out of there!

Good luck to you and hope you get some relief and peace of mind. 

Specializes in Complex pedi to LTC/SA & now a manager.
BaybeeNurse20 said:

I have an update: 

Talked to HR. They said that they should not have suspend me b/c they had not notified HR. Secondly, they should not have said that they would contact the board b/c HR wasn't notified. The reason they said that they suspended me is because I abandoned job. However, they said that they talked to the supervisor for that day and the supervisor said that they gave me the OK to go home. So, they don't see any form of abandonment. They told me not to worry about any of the claims to report to board right now. They also said that they talked to director who said that they made me aware that I should report to work on the next scheduled day. However, the director had not called me or texted me anything regarding the situation or saying that I can report to work, after saying that she would keep me updated. I honestly would like to see how this issue is resolved. But, I have a mind to turn in my resignation the morning after the night I report to work. I've received offers from travel agency, but I think they're trying to low ball me. Of course, it's more than staff with stipend but I follow travel nursing groups on facebook and they've laughed at offers such as the one I was given. Also, I seen a comment about the facility offered not only going after the nurse, they go after their license as well. That immediately turned me off. I seen good and bad reviews on the facility. This facility is about 2hrs from my house, which I think is awesome! But I am also scared. 

You are an inexperienced new grad nurse. To expect a travel assignment with no experience is not realistic. To expect the high salary of a seasoned experienced med-surg nurse is not realistic. You do not know what you don't know as shown by this situation, you declared you were going home because of your understanding of the staffing policy  (Only CA has mandated staffing ratios in hospitals last I checked the laws)   You need to get solid experience as when you travel you get no training, minimal orientation, and are expected to be an experienced capable independent nurse who can hit the ground running within  a day or two of arriving    It seems you were not at your first job very long, consider that when you are getting offers from travel agencies  what kind of settings are they sending you into as an inexperienced nurse when most facilities are expecting capable competent travel nurses not inexperienced new grads   The low rates reflect low experience   

Specializes in anesthesia, nursing labor research, philosophy.

As others have pointed out, HR's basic mission is to minimize the company's liability. If this is an at-will employment situation and not a union shop, the employer can let you go for whatever they want (as long as it's not due to your status as a member of a protected class). Not sure you'd have much of a legal leg to stand on in this case. If you're in a union environment it's a whole different ballgame and I would talk to your union rep/steward. Regardless, I'd bounce from this job before they let you go. It sounds toxic and the labor market is very pro-employee right now. Get yourself out of this garbage situation and find a better place to do your thing!

Just my two cents.

Specializes in BSN, RN, CVRN-BC.

Having read your first post, the conclusion that I draw is that you contributed your current situation.  These problems will follow you whereever you go.  Creating problems when staffing demands change is seldom productive.  Was the assignment unsafe or just unfair?  When assignments are unsafe we need to make a stand.  When assignments are unfair it is time to either grab your straw or negotiate.  It doesn't sound like that was any attempt at negotiation on either side.  What you have now is a toxic brew and staying is not a viable option.  What will you do differently at your next job?

BaybeeNurse20 said:

OK Thank you all so much for the responses and advice. I've spoke with HR. For some reason the director said she needed to talk to them And then they'll schedule a meeting. I'm new to this and never had to go through this but I thought that was weird. So, I still contacted them today! I've done my research on HR and I am aware of their primary responsibility/ interests now. However, after talking to HR, they requested I email them a statement. Do you all think it is wise to email a statement without having an attorney review the statement? I feel that something fishy is going on here. I do not care about the job. The only thing I care about my license. HR claim that she knows nothing of the case b/c she's been busy due to this weeks festivities or celebration. So, I still was not told the reason for suspension or reason for them contacting the board. 

If you value your license, you'll say nothing- especially in writing, without an attorney's guidance.  

Anything you say or write at this point will be used against you.  You can't write anything down that'll make them just go "oh, sorry, carry on".    

You can only give them ammunition to support your suspension/termination- or to feed to the board, to support action against your license.  

BaybeeNurse20 said:

@rzyzzy I definitely agree. I talked to attorney he didn't want to take the case. I'm not sure if it's because they have no case to send in or not. I've come to the conclusion that I'm not submitting anything I'm writing. Thank you so much for your response.

I'd hold firm on your intentions to quit as soon as feasible- the BON is a thermonuclear option for an employer- if they're threatening it for anything that isn't obviously related to actual incompetence or something that endangers a patient, they either don't understand the board's purpose, or they're actually using the power of government to jerk your chain.  

Neither situation is in your benefit.  I'd go one step further and say that quitting a bad situation without notice or under "bad" circumstances is a thousand times better than the risk of facing the board under dubious or even fully-explainable circumstances.

the BON in most circumstances is a hammer, and they have one purpose- squashing anything that gets in front of them.  You can't "win" anything by going before the board.  They're not going to ever sanction whomever makes the report, a dismissed case still shows on your "permanent record", and can be used to support disciplinary action years from now for honest mistakes you haven't even made yet.  

I went before my board as a "baby nurse" with only a few months on the job, on trumped-up, BS charges that the board dismissed before I even got to the hearing.  8 months of literally worrying myself to sleep, lost my job, couldn't apply for a new one, because the board conveniently put my license in RED letters "under investigation for patient abuse" on the state website..  

I "won", and got a very rare dismissal before the hearing, but the allegations are still on file, they can still be brought up if I ever get accused of anything in the future..  and my "win" cost me probably $15k in lost wages, a few thousand dollars for the attorney.. (which was a bargain btw.. ), and so much stress and fear and shame that I could absolutely understand someone in a similar situation eating a bullet.  

Since then, I've been a prolific "quitter".    When an employer gives me bad vibes, I'm gone.  I quit one job on the second day..  several jobs after a week or two.  I interview my employers way harder than I ever did before becoming a nurse.  There are a lot of really awful employers out there, and like three good ones.  The good ones know how awful other employers can be, and they've always understood leaving the bad places.   It isn't a bit unusual to have other nurses pipe in and mention that they themselves or nurses they know or respect have left those same employers.  

There's never been a better time to quit someplace that is awful in my time as a nurse.  If I'd have stayed at my first longer-term job (that wasn't dangerous to my license, but sucked for staffing and overload issues) - I'd be making a little more than 1/2 my current rate.  "Loyalty" could have cost me a lot of money, and I'd be working somewhere that wasn't as good as where I landed..  

If you're still in contact with your nursing classmates, chat them up - find out who's happy and maybe get them a referral bonus for helping you get an interview at someplace good.  

Two years experience anywhere should be plenty to jump into someplace good.  Without a reference from an employer, you ought to have some other nurses who would tell the truth about how good of a nurse you really are..  Many reference checks today are nearly completely automated- since my past included a period of self-employment, one of the reference-bots asked me for a reference for myself ?..  "Umm, yeah, I'm awesome, thanks for asking!”..  

Specializes in Clinical Services Nurse Specialist.
BaybeeNurse20 said:

I may not have communicated the situation properly. I did not refuse the assignment. The situation was resolved and I had my assignment and was in the process of planning my day/night. Charge nurse came and said she needed to talk to me. It was then the options were given. I chose to go home, to remove myself from the situation. I felt that was the best thing to do at that time. Supervisor said that I can go home if I want to, but he didn't make me go home. He sent the relief and I left. I guess I do understand your point.  I will look up policy on that. This is my first job. My next question is: do you think I should let them fire me or resign before they try to fire me as this is my first nursing job and will probably need reference in the future.

You do not want a termination on your record. Resigning would be your best bet. As this is your first job, you are learning. It is not easy to be a nurse and every day you are put in situations you may believe to be unsafe. We just don't know what will happen minute by minute, which is the job of nursing. What is needed from you changes day by day, hour by hour, and minute by minute. You need to make the choices. You chose to be a nurse and being a nurse comes with its challenges and sometimes surprises. We've gone through the texts and training. BUT...we learn something new every time we put on the nursing uniform and take on the work. You learn to ask for help and you step up to help others.

I've been a nurse for 36 years. I've not seen it all. I've seen lots I wish I had not had to see. You do what you need to do and then go home.

Specializes in Psych, Addictions, SOL (Student of Life).
3 hours ago, BaybeeNurse20 said:

@kbrn2002 Thank You for your response!  “I sure wouldn't want to go to work every day  waiting for the hammer to drop. “ Exactly! That’s my thing. I’m just lost! I really need some guidance. In addition to that HR basically told me herself they went about the situation wrong and supervisor gave me the OK to go and my relief came. 

I would look for  a new job. I have never traveled but have worked in several disciplines and it's a buyers market for nurses right nurses right now. I read an article showing that the exceptionally high wages travel nurses have been getting the past two years is going down as we are no longer in crises so I wouldn't expect super high wages from that milieu.  With just under two years experience at the bedside you should be able to get hired anywhere . Now for the advice when you do find a job be mindful of how you talk as what you did was essentially giving an ultimatum. Employers rarely respond to this in the manner the speaker expects. If you are in an "At Will' states you can be terminated any time for any reason without any notice. Exceptions to this are federal exceptions. When I stated something, regarding an unsafe assignment I was told "Don't let the door hit you in the donkey's behind on your way out!"


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