This is a long story, but I'll try to condense it as much as possible.
I'm a nineteen year old female, currently in my third semester of a four semester program. I'm supposed to graduate in December.
Psychology has always been my passion, but I was discouraged from pursuing it by those saying it's hard to get a job in and you have to have so much education for it and yadda yadda, so I strayed away.
Now, I can't really tell you what brought me to my decision to start nursing school to begin with. I'd had a slight interest in the medical field for most of my life, but nursing didn't come to mind until about a year before I started the program. My cousin was doing it and I knew it only took two years and I'd be making good money, plus I liked helping people. So I started busting my behind to get the grades, got my prerequisites out of the way and came out with 92 admission points. The semester I was accepted into let everyone with 76+ in.
When I got my acceptance letter, I found I wasn't as excited as I felt like I should've been. It was just kind of like "awesome, I got accepted", but whatever. I went to the orientation, got everything set up and was ready.
The semester before the program, I was sitting in my nurse assistant class, texting my cousin "I don't think this is what I want." She said I could still drop out of the program, but I was like "I've worked so hard to get in and maybe it won't be as bad once I start".
First semester: wasn't too bad. I failed two of five tests, stressed myself out hardcore, had a mental breakdown doing paperwork the night before my first clinical, but I pushed on.
Second semester: even better, failed nothing, did good in clinical, but began really feeling miserable. I was always finding myself feeling really regretful that I didn't pursue my passion for psychology, but continued to convince myself it wouldn't be worth it. So again I kept pushing on.
Two weeks before third semester starts, I see a girl posting on Facebook about how happy she is to be working towards a career in something she really wanted and I just lost it. I had a full on mental breakdown because I truly realized that this is not what I want to do with the rest of my life. It's not that I'm grossed out by it: I can do aide work and clean up feces, urine, vomit no problem. I'm just truly not interested anymore. My heart is not in this.
There are tons of reasons I can tell you why I don't want to do this, but I won't bore you. But I've become increasingly anxious and depressed over the past year in this program and finally had to start on Zoloft because I feel like I can't function anymore. The only real reason I don't want to drop is because I am so far and it'll give me something to fall back on if I do get the degree.
But right now, I'm failing both nursing classes with a 64 and a 76 where a 77 is a passing grade. I don't want to stick it out, fail, and have it affect my GPA but I don't want to feel like a failure or disappointment to my family.
And as I typed this out, I realize my mind is already made up. I want to withdraw with a W grade, transfer and begin on my psychology degree. I guess I'm just wondering if anyone has any advice for me? Sorry for the incredibly long post, I'm just at my wits end and I'm miserable. We've been out for the past week due to snow and I'm DREADING going back and having to go to clinical. Thinking about it just makes me depressed...
I've set up an appointment with my advisor, the dean of the program. I guess we'll see how it goes. Thanks everyone.
I'd vote for finishing because you are so close and nursing will be a great way to pay for that psych PHD. It doesn't have to be one or the other! A phd will take several years, so a part time, well paying job will be nice to have. There are so many psych related nursing positions you could do. Have you thought about shadowing a psych nurse?
I can usually figure the real meaning behind auto correct errors, but I admit this one is beyond me. Please respond poster and tell us what you really mean!
Based on your description I strongly suspect you are attending the same school I attended. (Not that it matters one bit.)
You are young. You have only started to explore your identity. Your identity might change several times before you finally settle into your adult self. Have you considered that the thing you hate is not nursing, but nursing school? If you buckle down, study, and get passing grades you will graduate in December. Nursing school will be behind you. You can then go out into the world and find a job that you love. There is no reason to stay in a job that you hate. Nursing is such a broad field that there really is something for everyone.
I'm suggesting that you stick with nursing because of one important factor - money. As a newly licensed nurse you will make a decent, living wage. As a graduate with a psych degree, you will not. One of my professors (a Psych PhD) told me that a bachelor's degree in Psych qualifies you to work at McDonalds. I've also observed friends and family unable to get any job at all, or working with dangerous, violent clients for hardly any money. Money isn't everything, but money will help you live independently and pay for more schooling to give you the credentials to do the work you want to do. Your route to your desired professional role will be shorter and more direct if you finish your nursing degree. (I know that is counter-intuitive, but it's true.) You will graduate with less, or no debt.
I get that your heart isn't in nursing. My heart isn't in fetching snacks for visiting family members, working with people who don't care about their clients, cleaning up vomit and poop. There are many aspects of nursing that I don't love. That's why I've found a niche where I can feel valuable and fulfilled. (I love the psycho-social aspects of nursing and hope to be a psych nurse at some time in the future.) In school you have to do everything, including the things that you can't stand doing. After graduation you can find yourself a role that works for you.
Just to add a BS in psych doesn't really get you anywhere except into another degree(nursing for me) or into a masters program. The jobs are few and far between for bs psych grads.
I think you should take a break. You are very stressed. Or as someone else suggested drop one class. Just based off what you stated and the posts of others it would be more beneficial to continue and graduate. Then obviously pursue more psych wise. Of course it's your choice and your family should support you whatever you decided. Your 19 and still have time to live. Trust me I know. At I was in Culinary School graduated and working, started school for forensic science and now I've settled to enroll in nursing school to do forensic nursing. While you may feel defeated right now it's your life to live regardless of what anyone thinks. I think you'll be fine. Keep us posted. :)
There's nothing like being in a career that you will hate all your life! Waking up everyday DREADING going to working... It will affect you mentally and emotionally which will turn into physical symptoms. THEN think about the patients that need the touch of a caring nursing that feels it's his or her passion to take care of them. I hear too many stories about the treatment of the patients bc the nurse is unhappy... IF THIS IS NOT YOUR DREAM GET OUT NOT AND FOLLOW YOUR HEART, SOUL AND MIND. Your too young to be dreading a career for the rest of your life.
I don't want to discourage you, and don't want to tell you to quit, you definitely have to do what you feel is right in this situation. If you're interested in psychology, you could definitely do some kind of psych nursing as others have said. However, I am a 34 year old female LPN, and really wish I had chosen another path. I was miserable in LPN school. I stressed constantly over studying, & hated going to clinicals. I liked learning the anatomy/medical portion of school, but hated the hands on/dealing with the patients stuff. I thought it would get better for me when I was out of school and got my license. I was wrong. I hated being a clinic/hospital LPN so bad that I quit my last clinic LPN job. I am currently taking courses to be a Certified medical coder online through a local community college, and I absolutely love it. The idea of a desk job, and not dealing with nursing job related stress is the largest weight I've ever felt lifted off of my shoulders.... Good luck, and I hope whatever your decision, you're happy in your future career.
I'm sorry you went through this awful experience. If you already withdrew from the program, then I encourage you in your new endeavors. I do want to encourage you to go for what you are passionate for in life. If you are this way in psych and improve in your skills, experience and education, everything that a nursing career would have provided would still be there for you in your new field.
I'm ironically in the very opposite position you are in. I gave up nursing for Psych, and now I'm about to head to nursing school. Do what makes you happy, but realize that unless you go to grad school it will be pretty difficult to get a job in the psych department. I've worked the past two years helping kids that have aged out of foster care. It's been great, but I'm burnt out. I realized that unless I go to grad school, my options on a new job are very limited. Also... the pay is less than half of the average Texas nursing salary.
It's obviously not about the money, do what makes you happy. Just remember that unless you go to grad school, there isn't much you can't do with a nursing degree that you could do with a psych one.
My first degree was in psychology. I didn't make great grades and would have never gotten into grad school for a PhD program. I had limited job options after I graduated. Ended up in child protective services. Went back and got my masters in community counseling. Stayed in child protection because by then I was a supervisor and would have had to take a significant pay cut. I have my PC licensure and can counsel under supervision.
Then I decided to go into nursing. I worked about a year in psych nursing and was miserable. In the ED now and love it.
Another option would be to look into a social work degree. You can get a masters and it opens many doors for you in terms of job options.
Nursing isn't for everyone, and if your heart isn't in it, you shouldn't do it. With that said, since you're so young you should probably stick it out. I hate to say it, but most people under 25 really haven't figured out their place in the world yet. You may be happier as a psych major, because it's much easier than being a nursing major. Yet it's quite possible that you could get a psych degree, get into the field, and then find out you hate it. Give yourself some time to be sure you really know what you want and what will make you happy. Keep in mind, the worst part of the nursing profession is going through nursing school- every nurse has horror stories about going through school. Just because you hate nursing school doesn't mean you'll hate being a nurse. You'll still have plenty of time in life to become something else if you don't like being a nurse. You may as well give it a shot.
I had thought about doing psychiatric nursing, but I don't like nursing period. I don't like the thought of simply passing meds and charting all day. I want to get my PhD in psychology and counsel people in a one on one setting and help them through their troubles. I've been through my behavioral health nursing class and did my rotations and didn't like it.
Plus, nursing school is making me so incredibly miserable that it's affecting my life. I'm ten times more anxious, panicky, and depressed than I ever was before I started. Plus, I've discovered that I have a ridiculous fear of giving shots, starting IVs, catheters - ALL the skills a nurse is supposed to perform. I know how ridiculous that sounds, like why didn't I think about that beforehand? I did, but I didn't think it would bother me like it does. And even if I found a nursing job where all of that isn't necessary, I do have to do it in clinical and I'm just not comfortable with it at all.
Nursing school is short, careers are long. I have a good friend who does exactly what you want to do-- she has a MN in psych nursing and she does 1:1 counseling. Because she's a nurse she was able to get prescriptive authority, meaning she is able to prescribe medications; your PhD in psych won't do that and your patients will have to consult with a MD psychiatrist for any meds they need. She's been doing it for >25 years; nowadays she'd get a psych NP degree and be called Dr., same as the PhD psychologist but with other abilities to bring to the table.
I totally hear you about not liking what you do, and not enjoying clinicals and the tasks they have you demonstrate, even behavioral health. Do remember that no nursing school can possibly give you more than a small glimpse of what the possibilities are in nursing out here in the world. That said, if you think you'd be happier in another major, go ahead and do what you want. I think, though, that a legit nursing degree will open more doors than you know exist right now and could be worth the aggravation in the long run.
Peanut&Buttercup
135 Posts
I'd vote for finishing because you are so close and nursing will be a great way to pay for that psych PHD. It doesn't have to be one or the other! A phd will take several years, so a part time, well paying job will be nice to have. There are so many psych related nursing positions you could do. Have you thought about shadowing a psych nurse?