This is a long story, but I'll try to condense it as much as possible.
I'm a nineteen year old female, currently in my third semester of a four semester program. I'm supposed to graduate in December.
Psychology has always been my passion, but I was discouraged from pursuing it by those saying it's hard to get a job in and you have to have so much education for it and yadda yadda, so I strayed away.
Now, I can't really tell you what brought me to my decision to start nursing school to begin with. I'd had a slight interest in the medical field for most of my life, but nursing didn't come to mind until about a year before I started the program. My cousin was doing it and I knew it only took two years and I'd be making good money, plus I liked helping people. So I started busting my behind to get the grades, got my prerequisites out of the way and came out with 92 admission points. The semester I was accepted into let everyone with 76+ in.
When I got my acceptance letter, I found I wasn't as excited as I felt like I should've been. It was just kind of like "awesome, I got accepted", but whatever. I went to the orientation, got everything set up and was ready.
The semester before the program, I was sitting in my nurse assistant class, texting my cousin "I don't think this is what I want." She said I could still drop out of the program, but I was like "I've worked so hard to get in and maybe it won't be as bad once I start".
First semester: wasn't too bad. I failed two of five tests, stressed myself out hardcore, had a mental breakdown doing paperwork the night before my first clinical, but I pushed on.
Second semester: even better, failed nothing, did good in clinical, but began really feeling miserable. I was always finding myself feeling really regretful that I didn't pursue my passion for psychology, but continued to convince myself it wouldn't be worth it. So again I kept pushing on.
Two weeks before third semester starts, I see a girl posting on Facebook about how happy she is to be working towards a career in something she really wanted and I just lost it. I had a full on mental breakdown because I truly realized that this is not what I want to do with the rest of my life. It's not that I'm grossed out by it: I can do aide work and clean up feces, urine, vomit no problem. I'm just truly not interested anymore. My heart is not in this.
There are tons of reasons I can tell you why I don't want to do this, but I won't bore you. But I've become increasingly anxious and depressed over the past year in this program and finally had to start on Zoloft because I feel like I can't function anymore. The only real reason I don't want to drop is because I am so far and it'll give me something to fall back on if I do get the degree.
But right now, I'm failing both nursing classes with a 64 and a 76 where a 77 is a passing grade. I don't want to stick it out, fail, and have it affect my GPA but I don't want to feel like a failure or disappointment to my family.
And as I typed this out, I realize my mind is already made up. I want to withdraw with a W grade, transfer and begin on my psychology degree. I guess I'm just wondering if anyone has any advice for me? Sorry for the incredibly long post, I'm just at my wits end and I'm miserable. We've been out for the past week due to snow and I'm DREADING going back and having to go to clinical. Thinking about it just makes me depressed...
I've set up an appointment with my advisor, the dean of the program. I guess we'll see how it goes. Thanks everyone.
If you are stressing so much that you need to be medicated, it's time for a break. You can call it a sabbatical, a vacation, a leave of absence, or whatever. You have pretty much said you don't have a good reason for why you went into nursing (and psych is what you like). And if your grades are bad, what does that tell you? Do you know what you want to do in the psych field specifically? Is it a PhD? Then go for that. Don't do what doesn't make you happy.
I was I a similar situation. I had always thought I wanted to be an English teacher but in the back of my mind I had wanted to become an Arab. But I listened to everyone around me saying that getting my RN wasn't smart and to get into education. So I got my BA and started teaching. I quit 5 years later and I just got accepted into nursing school :) I HATED every single day of teaching. Dreaded it.
You need to go with your gut. If you're not happy now, you won't be happy later. I suggest taking the credits you have an transferring. Instead of going through with RN school and landing yourself a job just to be that much further along and still hating what you do. You're young you have plenty of time to switch tracks :)
I agree with the PP's..don't go further into something you dread. Follow your heart. What at your dreams, aspirations...make it work for you. The counselor should be able to help you figure out alternative options to suit you.
At 19 yo, finish what you started. Life can be much more stressful than finishing out a few classes. Two years from now you most likely will regret quitting….if not 2 years, maybe when you need something to fall back out on if your plan doesn't workout.
Finish the RN go into direct admission Psych NP program. PMHNP's can do therapy, there are many openings in the field. My niece has her PhD in psych and can't get a job.[/quote']
Love the idea. I have a B.A. in Psych and just started the nursing program. I just can't wait to get a masters in psych nursing.
If this is truly how you feel, I would switch now to a psychology degree - some of your classes should count. This is YOUR life not anyone else's - listen to YOUR gut. As for those who say people who work in psychology can't get jobs/don't make money - I beg to differ - one of my siblings is a LCSW & does VERY well.
You sound exhausted and overwhelmed. Perhaps not the best time to make important decisions. Only you will be able to make this important decision for yourself AND you may need time to heal before you do.
My nursing program has options for students to take an educational leave of absence and then return (without needing to reapply) in a quarter or two. Students need this option for many reasons: pregnancy, serious illness (self or family), divorce - as many reasons as there are human predicaments. Does your school have similar options?
Posters have made excellent suggestions about your options and I hope your school supports you in finding a way for you take time to explore and consider them. You are
I hope you can give yourself time and space, and any help you need, to get clarity. Wishing you the best.
Since you are so close to finishing I'd say try to complete the program. Nursing is very different from clinicals and there are so many different things you can do with your degree. Trust me, psych nursing is nothing like your clinicals portrayed it. It's not just a bunch of charting and passing meds. Plus, like other posters have said there's the psychiatric NP if you further your education. I'm not sure exactly what level of degree is required. It was once a Masters but a textbook I have showed it trending towards requiring a doctorate around 2015 (which would be now). I was supposed to complete my RN immediately after I got my LPN, like you I had progressed very far and got cold feet and quit at the very end and remained an LPN (although I had excellent grades so I'm was a real nut). Now, I'm older and realized that I should have finished my degree years ago but did not and now, except for the pr-requisites, I have to do the whole program over again. If I hadn't enrolled when I did with my school, I would of had to take all the math and science over again too because now most schools are requiring them to be finished within five years of enrolling. If you change your mind later like me you could be looking at this situation. Your young, at 19 february-december seems like a long time but its really not that long at all. It's not the things that we do in our life that we regret, it's the things we don't do. You can still go for your dream later if this whole nursing thing doesn't show something you like, but at least you finished. Only you can make that decision though.
Wow you are very young! I graduated nursing school last year at 25 and I can't imagine doing it at 19. It does say that you are a smart, mature, and determined person! I've always wanted to be a nurse and the first time I doubted myself was in nursing school! I think you are so close to being done, an RN degree might help you with psychology.. I would research that. Good luck!
ajmclean
123 Posts
If you are stressing so much that you need to be medicated, it's time for a break. You can call it a sabbatical, a vacation, a leave of absence, or whatever. You have pretty much said you don't have a good reason for why you went into nursing (and psych is what you like). And if your grades are bad, what does that tell you? Do you know what you want to do in the psych field specifically? Is it a PhD? Then go for that. Don't do what doesn't make you happy.