Share Your Saying

Nurses Humor

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i find that a lot of people who post have a lot of great saying attached to there post for example like

"i am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how i react to it." (charles swindoll) if you want to make god laugh, tell him your plans

i find it hard to go through everyones posting to find great saying so thought i start a tread so you can post yours and this way i can have a collection of saying all in one spot .........some of them are really funny, some are deep and make you think, some are sweet ...so please post and share your sayings since some of them are really great to read...........thanks angela

i have a long distance relationship with my boyfriend he is away so i love to write to him and add a little quote or story something to make him laugh or think or smile or just feel thought of so appreciate your contributions to my attempting to getting a collection thanks

Specializes in aged, palliative care, cardiac, agency,.
I have a little plaque on my wall that reads.........

Raising kids is like being pecked to death by a chicken.

Having children is like having a bowling alley installed in your brain.

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Specializes in aged, palliative care, cardiac, agency,.
:D

One of the last times I ever got to ride with my dad-he said what he always said when he drove up to his house,

"Home again, home again, jiggety-jog."

Gosh, I miss that.

Hey my mum used to say that too. And I miss her too. She also used to say "Home Jeeves and dont spare the horses."

Some of my favourites:

"M" is for mother not for maid.

Only dull women have immaculate homes.

And sorry guys but someone has to say it....

If we can put one man on the moon, how come we cant put them all there?

Would you like to speak to the man in charge, or the woman who knows what's happening?

One of my favourites (and unexpected source) is Angelina Jolie:

"People say that you're going the wrong way when it's simply a way of your own."

"So do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring worries of it's own. Today's trouble is enough for today." The Bible

The best:

"Why do we get all this life if we dont ever use it? Why do we get all these feelings and dreams and hopes if we dont ever use them?" Shirley Valentine

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Specializes in aged, palliative care, cardiac, agency,.
How about these from down under....

Flat out like a lizard drinking.

Useless as boobies on a bull.

Stubbie short of a six pack.

Sandwhich short of a picnic.

Live, laugh, love and listen to your nurse (I wear this on a badge to work).

Politicians are like diapers they both need to be changed frequently and for the same reason.

I tried to drown my troubles but the little buggers learnt to swim.

The only thing to fear is fear itself. If you allow such a negative emotion to rule your life then you simply have nothing, feel nothing and are nothing. Instead, be brave, be bold, take chances and you may find there is nothing to be afraid of after all.

Nicky.

Kangaroo loose in the top paddock.

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Specializes in ortho/neuro/general surgery.

to patients needing to do some pulmonary toilet- "coughing and deep breathing clears the junk out of your lungs and keeps 'em expanding like they should, it's your lungs' way of keeping house" :nurse:

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Specializes in Emergency/Trauma/Education.

Originally Posted by Nicky30 viewpost.gif Useless as boobies on a bull.

We have one like this...except it's "t!t$ on a boar hog"...

And while I'm exposing my red neck to everyone, let me go ahead & add:

"It's raining like a cow ******* on a flat rock."

:p

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Well I didn't have time to read them all, but here are two of my faves:

Afterism (n) - A concise, clever statement you don't think of until too late.

Q-Tips, if you aren't supposed to put them in your ears, then what the heck are they for?!?

:jester:

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From my father:

Being kicked to death by grasshoppers.

Happy as a toad in God's pocket.

My usual saying seems to be: I can do that.:banghead:

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I was snow white-- but I drifted. Mae West

Why is it everything I love is either illegal, immoral, or fattening?

Live your life so your autograph will be wanted, not your fingerprints.

You could not be more wrong... you could try but you wouldn't be successful. (I swear there is a MD I would love to tell this to!)

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I have these in my office.

On my door is "Good Morning! Let the stress begin..."

And on the wall...Live, Laugh, Love and Listen to your nurse!

What if the hokey pokey really is what it's all about?

You go, Girl and keep on going!

Does it hurt being so dumb?

A positive attitude may not solve all your problems but it will annoy enough people to make it worth your time.

And my favorite saying, "No, I don't think 'too stupid to live' is an inappropriate nursing diagnosis!"

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never look down on anyone, unless you are helping them up!- jesse jackson

all time fave![color=#993399]

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Specializes in Staff nurse.
Never look down on anyone, unless you are helping them up!- Jesse Jackson

All time fave!

Wow, I think I will use this at work tonight, thanks for posting it!!

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Specializes in Obstetrics and Gynaecology, Medical.

When everything is falling apart, look again. Maybe... just maybe... things are actually falling into their rightful place.

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