aussiemags

Thanks for the reply. And you're right - getting her to do them would be the hard part. But thanks for the information. At least I have a bit more of an idea what is involved.

Hey Willy2, What is the TEA form? Would it be any help to my 17 yr old daughter who is going through such a rough time. She has always been an anxious child, now she is in her teens she is struggling. I tried searching on the web for info about the TEA form but all I found was people saying how great it was but not describing it.

Kangaroo loose in the top paddock.

Hey my mum used to say that too. And I miss her too. She also used to say "Home Jeeves and dont spare the horses." Some of my favourites: "M" is for mother not for maid. Only dull women have immaculate homes. And sorry guys but someone has to say it.... If we can put one man on the moon, how come we cant put them all there? Would you like to speak to the man in charge, or the woman who knows what's happening? One of my favourites (and unexpected source) is Angelina Jolie: "People say that you're going the wrong way when it's simply a way of your own." "So do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring worries of it's own. Today's trouble is enough for today." The Bible The best: "Why do we get all this life if we dont ever use it? Why do we get all these feelings and dreams and hopes if we dont ever use them?" Shirley Valentine

Having children is like having a bowling alley installed in your brain.

Thanks for these - both funny and apt.

WOW. Thank you both Babs and Stanley for sharing your story. Mine pales into insignificance (except that it is significant to me). Babs, I love your book title. Maybe patients would regard us more humanely if they remembered that we are just people too. I remember working in Hospice and a pt's family member saying we were angels and going on and on about how we were wonderful and special and angelic and so on and so on. This really annoyed me and I ended up saying to her "If we were angels it would be easy. But we are not. We are just people doing this work (which we love)". Anyway I know she was just saying her thankyou's but it really annoyed me that she had somehow put the nurses into a special category like we werent human anymore and that's why it was ok. And I was trying to tell her that we were still human.....all of which has nothing to do with depression and I dont quite know how I got here. Your stories = incredible. Reinforces to me how resilient people are. The idea of resilience is one which really appeals to me - its one of the things I find interesting in historic military nursing - just how they managed to do what they did. Same as patients dealing with heaps of issues = their resilience amazes me. What people are capable of. My story = usual mildly dysfunctional family growing up. We were raised not to make a fuss, hide our emiotions so as not to upset other people. For example when I was 11 (day after my 11th brithday) my Father died at 51 of heart disease after a few years of chronic illhealth. The day he died I was sent to play netball "so I wouldnt let the team down." I then developed anxiety (and depression I think) and separation anxiety, ended up being home schooled for a year or so, seeing a psych, taking various meds I have no idea what they were. Got back to school ok but have always felt 'less than' because of this episode (more depressive feelings). My mother raised me to believe that I am too sensitive to cope with life. I have spent the rest of my life proving that not to be the case. Nowadays my oldest very violent brother is an alcoholic - living on the streets for part of his life. I now have no further contact with him after various incidents. My second brother has agoraphobia (amongst other mental health issues). He is a fantastic guy, successful businessman but doesnt leave his 'safe' area which amounts to an area not much bigger than the palm of your hand. My sister is a super achiever - wonder woman - extremely focused, highly successful business woman, takes no prisoners in all areas of her life. Spends time telling me how to live my life although this is done, in her eyes, to help me 'cos apparently I cant work things out for myself. And then there's me - the 'baby' of the family. Married at 20 to escape my family. An emotionally abusive marriage followed where I contemplated suicide before leaving to raise my two daughters on my own (first diagnosis of depression). After a few jobs all related to health I finally did what I had wanted to do all along and qualify as an RN. On and off again relationship with my martyr mother who died of pancreatic cancer 3 days after the initial diagnosis. My work colleagues didnt even know she had died - I keep myself to myself, especially after the guy I was seeing at the time told me he didnt 'do death' and I wasnt to mention it again despite the fact that I was arranging her funeral at the time. Needless to say that relationship ended rather abruptly but not until I had internalised the "Dont make a fuss" message. When my work colleagues did find out about my mother one said to me "That wouldnt have upset you. Nothing bothers you." I have had this said to me over and over in my life - apparently I give off the impression that nothing bothers me, I can cope, my feelings dont matter (where would I have learnt that????). Anyway, spent a few years with the door firmly shut on the world - just worked, raised my girls, paid bills, read books, kept myself to myself (depression). Then met and eventually moved in with a delightful man. Have just moved out ie 4 weeks ago after 4 years 'cos he has no way of demonstrating his feelings. Depression and anxiety rears its ugly head once again. And in the last 4 weeks - relationship finished, former partner not coping so I'm trying to be supportive, exhusband is around and surprisngly very supportive but I'm slightly uncomfortable with this, $200,000 extension to the existing jointly owned house commenced, financial stresses, located and moved out to rental accommodation, eldest daughter with physical health issues, second daughter has been to 3 schools in as many weeks. She is now under the care of a psych - has had "issues" all year. The school are not happy with her, I'm struggling on my own with her depression and general wierd behaviours. I had an unconscious collapse last week, admitted to hospital and diagnised with severe stress. Like I couldnt work that out myself. BUT life is beginning to turn itself around. I am working hard at keeping it all together for myself and my daughters. I do feel that it will come crashing down shortly but not if I can keep going. My anxiety levels are higher than usual, but I'm managing that as best as I can. Thanks for listening. Feels better for downloading all this.

I agree. Often it is in finding the words to tell the story that we hear our own truth. Rather than just having random thoughts floating around in our brain when we are forced to make sensible sentences and put things in order to be able to tell the story to someone else we hear exactly what it is that is troubling us. Plus sometimes in the telling we put a funny spin on it - a defence mechanism I specialise in - but in laughing at ourselves we lighten up even if just for a moment.

Babs, your good advice could be just as useful to Elizabeth. Elizabeth, I hope your life is starting to settle a bit. It sounds like too much is happening all at once. Not only are you trying to deal with your own feelings but your family is wanting /needing support too. Just realise that your own needs need to be met - try not to be like most nurses and GIVE even at cost to yourself. This is a time to take care of YOU. Once you're OK then you can help others. Remember in planes they tell you to put your own oxygen on before helping others????

That's interesting. I find myself posting more in times of stress - a kind of reaching out to others who might understand or at least share part of their lives with me in that we all work in similar fields and have some level of understanding. I also post more at times when I'm feeling a bit lonely for the same reasons. I love to read the funny posts - that always makes me laugh and reminds me of the sense of camaraderie (? spelling) that this site gives me. Keep on posting.

Thanks Lylesmom - a new author to look out for. "The Sisterhood" sounds like a good place to start. Mind you I do still have a pile of other books that I have sourced from this thread that I want to read as well. How is it that there is never enough hours in the day for reading endlessly??? But always sems to be time for housework, paying bills, running around, picking up, droping off, car services..........I think I could rearrange my days to fit in more reading!

Sorry all you Echo Heron fans out there. I have nearly finished her first book and I am struggling with it. All nurses can relate to the stories she tells and she writes well. BUT I am finding her a bit much - a little humility wouldnt go astray. For instance she writes that, as a student nurse mind you, she had to tell a mother that her toddler had just died / not been able to be resuscitated after a drowning. Really? A first year student nurse would do that??? It's a bit like Echo Heron - God's gift to nursing. Anyway I have the second book which I will read too but I am disappointed. Any feedback? (and yes, I expect to be hounded down by her fans out there - that's ok).

So, its been a few months now. How are things going for you?? Have the nausea and headaches settled?I have often wondered how you were managing. Not just you either, but all the people who opened up their hearts and told their stories. My life has undergone the most enormous changes in the last few weeks - funnily enough the changes have helped settle my feelings of anxiety and / or depression. I still have lots to deal with but am now in a calmer physical space in which to be able to do so. AND I'm sleeping better which always helps. Hope you all are experiencing good health, both physically and emotionally.

I am laughing out loud. Not a good look cos I'm out in public!