I asked the boys, about 40 of them, aged from 16-18 if they'd ever watched Media, and they all laughed.
'Shall I take that as a yes?' I asked, and there were further chuckles and nodding heads all round.
You see, as the school nurse, I'd been asked to talk to the senior boys about 'sex and all that sort of stuff.' With such vague guidelines, I chose to talk about an area that has been coming an ever increasing concern.
'Do you like it?' I asked, and no one said outright they liked it.
'Do you think it's healthy or harmful?' They all said it's harmless, because the participants were consenting adults. So I asked them what's their favorite type of Media, and the answers were varied, although hot young blondes, and horny teens topped the list of favorites.
'Was that 'horny teen' legal?' I asked, and the laughter died away. They'd never thought of that before, they'd also never thought of sex-slavery, but now wasn't the right time to talk about that, as I felt they would stop listening if I started lecturing.
Although Ivan, one of the Russian lads raised his hand in protest. 'But sir, I only watch **** Media.' The room erupted, and the merits of **** Media were briefly discussed. I decided to get personal.
I asked them to raise their if they wanted to get married and have kids one day, and they all raised their hands.
'So what age is it okay for your son to watch Media?' They paused, giving it serious thought, before generally deciding that around 14yrs old is good.
'And what age is it okay for your daughter to watch Media?' I was greeted with silence.
No one wanted their daughter to ever watch Media, because deep inside of them, they know Media is not good, and they know it is degrading to women, regardless of consent.
We talked about other things, from relationship to STD's, but only briefly, because there's only so much you can teach them in one-off, one hour session.
But I wasn't there to lecture them, but hopefully to get them to think.
I'm trying to show some of the difficulties that are facing teenagers these days, but I'm obviously not doing a good of showing it.
Perhaps I should explain a bit better some of the huge problems we face in school due to Media. It is my belief that it is the biggest danger facing children today. And while I avoid doing it, I almost feel we need to start teaching kids about morals.
Do you know that last time we had a talk on relationships, with the 4th formers (14yr olds) I confiscated a phone of two boys who were giggling, and they were about to watch Media involving a goat.They thought it was harmless, they weren't even shocked.
Have you ever noticed a sudden change in a 10yr old girl, that no one picked up on, and when you bring it to the attention of teachers/parents, discover that on her phone, she'd stumbled across Media, and in two weeks of this, it had affected her. She's in counseling right now, and the parents are feeling so guilty because they thought the phone protected.
Do you know that those protections parents put in on online are useless, and kids effortlessly bypass them, 'hide my ass' is only one site of many they use to get around Media filters.
Your comments is insulting. I've worked with children for the last ten years, and I'm disgusted at you.
How would you handle a sex-ed talk, when the Russians believe gay people should be shot, while the Saudis want to hang them. I'm sure in your politically correct, non-judgmental world you'd somehow manage to get through to them, good luck.
I would never put down someone or brush them off because I feel as though what I went through was worse. You seem to misunderstand what I was trying to convey. People are sharing their views due to the Bible, their culture, enhanced morals. I just wanted to share my view on it.
I do feel that, once again, there are worse things facing our youth that Mediaography. That's all. Media is not the evil to end all evils.
Of course not. Kids are faced with all kinds of tangible dangers. I work in a high school and have 2 teenagers. There's not one day goes by that I'm not thankful for my own kids being relatively safe and well adjusted.
Media: I really don't want my kids looking at Media all day instead of going out and having real life relationships. If they are older, and they choose to do that, hey, it's not MY choice, but knock yourself out.
Kids are too plugged in and everything is too accessible. They need to connect for real first, and I'm not talking sex, but friendship, student, work relationships...romance?
I'll be honest I haven't even talked to my 9 year olds about sex because they are still more concerned with playing Minecraft and when we're going swimming next. They have their own laptops that I parental protected (maybe not well enough based on this thread) and they haven't looked up anything unusual.
After all this I feel like I need to come down on them with a sex talk I don't think they are ready to have yet...
I'll be honest I haven't even talked to my 9 year olds about sex because they are still more concerned with playing Minecraft and when we're going swimming next. They have their own laptops that I parental protected (maybe not well enough based on this thread) and they haven't looked up anything unusual.
After all this I feel like I need to come down on them with a sex talk I don't think they are ready to have yet...
Mine with my older son came around age 9/10 when I was quizzing him back in science for asexual/sexual reproduction of plants and we started talking and all of a sudden it got real and I said "member Into lady parts!"
He was "So, what you just walk up to someone and announce I'm going to do this to you?"
*facepalm*
So then we had to really talk, about life, love, yadda yadda. I don't think either one of us was ready, but at least he got it from me.
And then he told his little brother. I think.
Don't push "The Talk". Don't hold off on it either.
There is overkill. Older son asking me if men could live together, age 3/4. I went in to a whole thing on gay rights and marriage and how hopefully someday men could get married. So Older Son turns to Younger son and says, "Okay, so we can live together when we grow up, but we can't get married!":blink:
If you read my posts, I've been clear that it damages the human dignity of all involved with it. I never said it was only degrading to women.
Heron, I absolutely adore your posts on this thread. Thank you for your level head and wisdom. :)
Also, my kids attend schools that use the Socratic method, so I always enjoy seeing advocacy for that as well. I find it hilarious many times that all I do is ask questions and assert nothing, and man, people get super PO'ed! I think many people REALLY hate being forced to think.
My apologies, I was not referencing you when I made my comment about Media being considered degrading to only women. It is an anti-Media argument that I hear a lot and I always wondered why those making that argument only reference the woman and never the man. Again I was not commenting on your posts . I was just sharing a thought I had. I didn't actually read all the posts when I made my comment so I must have missed yours.
However, I have to disagree. In my opinion, I do not find Media degrading (unless of course the Media depicts something illegal such as rape). All the main stream Media producers are legitimate businesses that have rules and guidelines that they follow regarding safety. As long as the participants are consenting adults, I do not feel that it is my place to make comments on my perception of their self-respect. If they value themselves as humans then they have dignity. Their career choice does not affect that. I think the opinions that really matter are the ones participating in the act. If the actors and actresses feel that it is degrading, I doubt that they would even be in that line of work. Of course, this only applies to the big companies that are legit businesses that are operating within legal standards.
You all do realize that a lot of the "Media" the kids are exposed to is not "actors and actresses" with 401K and dental plans but their own 14 year old classmates masturbating on snap chat, right?
Ay ay ay, another person who equates legal with moral.
All I'm saying is that my idea of moral is obviously vastly different than yours. Just because I don't like something, that doesn't make the act immoral.
. I was just sharing a thought I had. I didn't actually read all the posts when I made my comment so I must have missed yours.
BuckyBadgerRN, ASN, RN
3,520 Posts
How old are YOUR children? Curious...