Sex-ed

[nursingaround1]

I asked the boys, about 40 of them, aged from 16-18 if they'd ever watched Media, and they all laughed.

'Shall I take that as a yes?' I asked, and there were further chuckles and nodding heads all round.

You see, as the school nurse, I'd been asked to talk to the senior boys about 'sex and all that sort of stuff.' With such vague guidelines, I chose to talk about an area that has been coming an ever increasing concern.

'Do you like it?' I asked, and no one said outright they liked it.

'Do you think it's healthy or harmful?' They all said it's harmless, because the participants were consenting adults. So I asked them what's their favorite type of Media, and the answers were varied, although hot young blondes, and horny teens topped the list of favorites.

'Was that 'horny teen' legal?' I asked, and the laughter died away. They'd never thought of that before, they'd also never thought of sex-slavery, but now wasn't the right time to talk about that, as I felt they would stop listening if I started lecturing.

Although Ivan, one of the Russian lads raised his hand in protest. 'But sir, I only watch **** Media.' The room erupted, and the merits of **** Media were briefly discussed. I decided to get personal.

I asked them to raise their if they wanted to get married and have kids one day, and they all raised their hands.

'So what age is it okay for your son to watch Media?' They paused, giving it serious thought, before generally deciding that around 14yrs old is good.

'And what age is it okay for your daughter to watch Media?' I was greeted with silence.

No one wanted their daughter to ever watch Media, because deep inside of them, they know Media is not good, and they know it is degrading to women, regardless of consent.

We talked about other things, from relationship to STD's, but only briefly, because there's only so much you can teach them in one-off, one hour session.

But I wasn't there to lecture them, but hopefully to get them to think.

[LadyFree28, BSN, LPN, RN]

Oh, now I see from your other posts. I don't even believe you are a school nurse here in America. We have our own culture here, the way we do things. They are not going to be the same around the world.

You seem maybe a little obsessed with sex and decency in our culture. Remember not everything Hollywood puts out is true, and you need to get a grip. Stop trying to incite trouble here.

You said it better than I did!

[klone, MSN, RN]

It is my belief that it is the biggest danger facing children today.

I thought that was marijuana?

[Been there,done that, ASN, RN]

New account, three new threads about controversial topics in one day, and indignant replies to comments... I smell fresh-baked troll.

Oh yeah. This one needs to go.... mods???

[JenTheSchoolRN, BSN, RN]

Your job as a school nurse is not to teach kids morals. Parents have the right to teach their children whatever they would like to as far as their family stance on sex and sexuality. Which in a perfect world, would be non-judgemental.

However, any sex ed talk at school should be after the content of your education is reviewed by parents, and permission slip is signed that they are consenting to you teaching their kids sex ed. In America, this is what happens at any number of schools. It is important to note that in my experience, kids that are in large groups of same aged peers are going to jump on the train, laugh, giggle and carry on and look for shock value, as for most it gets the teacher off of a very personal subject.

With all that being said, some kids will look at whatever they can on video websites, from sex to burping contents and find them equally hysterical. Kids can also read "romantic" novels that involve vampires and werewolves and lots of sexual tension. Parents can choose to deal with each situation as they see fit to, as every kid who watches Media or reads Media is not immoral. And shaming them into thinking they are is not right.

Again, as I mentioned in another thread on a controversial subject, if one is at the point in their career that there is a real burnout factor, that what was dealt with in a professional manner with parent input is now a source of jaded contempt, now would be the time to take a look at how you can perhaps talk with someone who can assist one in putting this all in perspective.

Best wishes.

I am a school nurse that teaches sex education to 7th, 8th, and 10th graders. I want to like this post x10.

Media is not shameful. If I am asked about it in class, I present a fact (all my teaching is strictly fact based - my personal feelings on any subject have no place in a sex ed classroom) - watching Media is legal for those over the age of 18. I mention that like many situations in movies or TV, it is often not a good representation of a healthy relationship (and sometimes ask for examples of a healthy relationship between two people). Then we move on and the kids move past it very well - it's shock value.

But again, I am not here to teach student morals, just to present fact to help them make healthier decisions in a non-judgmental environment and guide them into more in depth conversations with a caring adult.

I will say, I think the way you steered the conversation was too personal and interjecting your own values into the classroom.

[Farawyn]

Oh yeah. This one needs to go.... mods???

Noooooo! Can't we keep him for awhile? Please?

[heron, ASN, RN]

This poster cannot be for real.

New account, three new threads about controversial topics in one day, and indignant replies to comments... I smell fresh-baked troll.

I disagree. I thought of this when I saw the username, but I have to say that the OP presented a real observation in the pot thread, and asked quite valid questions about how we are handling the question of pot use in kids. The only indignant replies I read were from other posters. But that's just me.

I believe s/he is presenting a real observation here, too. I find it interesting to note that both threads address aspects of known addictions. Plus, this one concerns sexual ethics. You are right, vanilla bean, it is explosive ... maybe too much for AN. But I don't think s/he's a troll.

Also, I get the impression that the OP is in Great Britain or somewhere in the Commonwealth. British culture is one of the roots of our own in the US. I consider his/her observations to be worth considering.

Anyway, I wish I had thought to ask my son these questions:

I asked them to raise their if they wanted to get married and have kids one day, and they all raised their hands.

'So what age is it okay for your son to watch Media?' They paused, giving it serious thought, before generally deciding that around 14yrs old is good.

'And what age is it okay for your daughter to watch Media?' I was greeted with silence.

My boy is now father to a son and a daughter ... I bet he's asking those questions now!

While I disagree that we should be teaching morals in school, I do think we can do a better job of teaching ethics, both in school and at home. These days, adolescents have to think through these issues for themselves. Almost by definition many parents have little to no moral authority for many teens. Teens are ignorant of most realities outside their own lives and are busily soaking up popular culture. Many of them turn to their equally ignorant peer groups for validation rather than to their parents.

The OP is talking about 14-year-olds. When my son was 14, he was a raving homophobe ... and anyone who's read my posts here knows that he sure didn't learn that at home. Eventually, he acknowledged that his own experience proved his peer group of the time to be wrong. But it took a few years and a few "outsiders" asking these kinds of questions to promote that growth. Anything I had to say about the subject got blown off.

Sometimes, when a question makes us angry or uncomfortable, it's because it scares us to think about the possible answer.

[Libby1987]

I didn't know about other threads or that this poster was brand new, but I would have been fine to have him have this discussion with my kids, sons and daughters both.

And I think it is a part of sex ed and teen/gender culture even if you don't want someone speaking to your kid about it. I didn't read it thinking about parental consent just the content.

[Red Kryptonite]

Being against Mediaography and its damaging effects is not limited to easily-dismissed "prudish Americans" by the way:

Russell Brand stars as anti-Media crusader

I encourage everyone to watch Brand's video and take what he says seriously. It was completely unexpected, but that's what makes it so impactful. I disagree with Russell Brand on a lot, but the one thing the man is NOT is stupid. His intelligence is one of the reasons his comedy is so good.

[OrganizedChaos, LVN]

I would've been really unhappy if you had this talk with *my* son, I'll tell you that much.

I believe that talk needs to come from my husband or me, at home, not the school nurse. Because what you believe or want to teach about Media is not what we may want to teach our son about Media.

I/we will talk to our son about Media, but I believe sex ed should be about sexual health & facts not beliefs.

[Red Kryptonite]

I just can't get over how many people think it's okay to turn other people's children into property and then use them as masturbatory aids. Just....why do you think that's okay? The groups that help people get out of Media have been really clear about how exploitative it is and about how many of the "actors" actually aren't "legal" when they start, and how much drug abuse goes on to facilitate what they're doing. And by being a consumer, you consent to all that and say it's acceptable. And you want to actively teach that to your child.

I'm sure you wouldn't want your own children to become Media actors, but you think it's perfectly fine for someone else's children to degrade themselves so you can get off. Gross.

Another article: Lost innocence: Why girls are having rough sex at 12 | Australian Women's Weekly

[OrganizedChaos, LVN]

I just can't get over how many people think it's okay to turn other people's children into property and then use them as masturbatory aids. Just....why do you think that's okay? The groups that help people get out of Media have been really clear about how exploitative it is and about how many of the "actors" actually aren't "legal" and how much drug abuse goes on to facilitate what they're doing. And by being a consumer, you consent to all that and say it's acceptable. And you want to actively teach that to your child.

I'm sure you wouldn't want your own children to become Media actors, but you think it's perfectly fine for someone else's children to degrade themselves so you can get off. Gross.

We obviously have different points of view. I can't control my son when he gets older. I know he's gonna be curious & look at Media, there's nothing I'm gonna be able to do. I/we will sit him down & talk to him about it. It's not like I plan on handing him the Media but I know I should be proactive & talk to him about it & not be ignorant to it, who is that helping?

As far as him wanting to work in Media, I HIGHLY doubt it. But if that's what he decides to do then I have to support him because he's my son & I love him. If people are of legal age & chose to become Media stars the right way, that's their job of choice. You may not like it. But apparently they do.

[heron, ASN, RN]

I would've been really unhappy if you had this talk with *my* son, I'll tell you that much.

I believe that talk needs to come from my husband or me, at home, not the school nurse. Because what you believe or want to teach about Media is not what we may want to teach our son about Media.

I/we will talk to our son about Media, but I believe sex ed should be about sexual health & facts not beliefs.

I see Media addiction as definitely a sexual health issue, along with unrealistic expectations of sexual relationships, female physicality and sexual responses.