I've been nursing for about 4.5 years on a 30 bed Neuro unit. I love my job (for the most part) and feel pretty confident. I feel comfortable approaching most of the doctors and feel I have a good rapport with most of them, except one. This doc is known for being extremely nasty. This MD has been known to "find your weakness and go for the jugular" as some other nurses have put it. I respect the MD for their work. They are a very good and talented surgeon, but they will eat you up. This MD has a notorious rep among the nurses and most nurses dread dealing with them.
For the most part, I've not had any problems with this MD and they almost seemed to respect me. There was a particular incident earlier this year with this doc that has left me terrified of them. The MD ordered an MRI of the L-spine, which another nurse took as a telephone order (I was in charge that day). The order did not say STAT or today, it just said MRI L-spine. The patient was going to have to have it in an open MRI, so they weren't able to get to the patient until the next day, which I thought was fine since it was already 4pm in the afternoon and the order was not STAT or timed. Well, that MD called to the floor later and asked if the patient had the MRI. I said no, that's when the crap hit the fan. This MD is very passive-aggressive and has a way of making you feel 2 inches tall. The MD basically asked me why this MRI wasn't done STAT. I explained another nurse took the order and it was not ordered STAT. I told the MD I certainly would have made sure the MRI was done ASAP if the order was STAT. Then the MD basically went on and on in their passive-aggressive tone about how it should have been done asap, the pt could have a hematoma, am I willing to take responsibility if he's paralyzed, and on and on. After that, the phone went silent and they said 'thank you' in a smart *** way and hung up. I'm left speechless.
Anyhow, ever since this incident I am really terrified of this MD. I feel that I was slowly building some respect with them, and now they don't trust me and view me in a negative light. Everyone tells me to let it go, but I can't. When I see that docs name on the board, my heart sinks because I dread facing them. Even if I dot every single I and cross every T, they will find something wrong, give you a look that makes you want to crawl under the desk, and start lecturing you in a very demeaning tone. I can deal with docs yelling and acting like babies, but this doc just attacks you on a more personal level. Apparently this doc has been known to get nurses fired at another hospital. This MD has the 'gift' of making you feel worthless and stupid. I charge a lot and I get panic attacks knowing I will have to deal with this MD. I'm not sure how can I get over this fear of this MD. I know they are just a person, but I feel so disrespected around them. Sorry, needed to vent... Thanks for listening!!
Don't sweat it. You've been lucky that you haven't been screamed at very often. At some workplaces it is common to get screamed at and blamed for things that are beyond your control. There is at least one jerk in every workplace. Just realize that you can't do anything to change it. Worrying about it is only going to make you feel worse, it isn't going to improve the situation. Talking to her, unfortunately, probably won't clear the air.
Be very matter of fact and to the point with that doctor when communicating with her in the future. No niceties, no small talk, no favors, no extra anything. Use those good old therapeutic communication techniques. Ha ha! That way she has no ammunition if she wants to be ****** with you in the future.
Allow them keep at it, and you wouldn't be so jolly again. Words when used rightly or wrongly can be very powerful
Oh no doubt about it.
I'm a weekend nurse, the issues I had to contact the doctor about should have been taken care of by the weekday nurses. I'll be having a nice chat with my supervisor this week about these issues.
SCARED of a doctor? How many times have a heard that? Remember the old cliche about "picture your audience in their underwear"? Try that. IF that doesn't work, try this.....KILL HIM WITH KINDNESS!! (not literally) I do not mean going out of your way however. I mean, each and EVERY time you see him say "hello, doctor......" Make small remarks about how the day is going, etc. Remember this, however, some doctors stay focused by NOT making small talk so don't worry if he doesn't respond. What this is doing is bringing him to your level of being a kind and receptive human being. THEN, when discussing a patient or orders or procedures, you'll feel a positive connection with him and more on his level and appreciate where he is coming from. Not all doctors can be the friendly being you're seeking. BUT more often than not they are pretty darn good at what they do and out of that should come respect from you. Spread positive remarks about him and his work and his patients going home alive. Those positive remarks will help you also to appreciate this man. Don't stay up at nights because he gives
off negative vibes....that's HIS problem, not yours. What goes round, comes round, right?
When I entered nursing 4 decades ago, other than dysfunctional family members, I had never experienced being spoken to with angry disrespect until working as a nurse with so many mean spirited, egomaniac doctors. There were far too many of them. Initially and for years, I went into a nurse-post-traumatic-stress-reaction. Meaning, I took the abuse (there were no other options in those days), kept my mouth shut and did a terrific job.
Over the years I began to realize they were normal people with medical degrees, no better, no worse; with the advantage of position in a hierarchical structured business.
Like Holly, I began to study what ANGER was all about.
To summarize I determined there were 3 types of ANGER:
ANGER ONE - I SINCERELY feel I am (or someone I care about) is being or is about to be, VIOLATED and I don't intend to tolerate it. I am taking back my POWER.
ANGER TWO - I am SINCERELY AFRAID and am puffing up my anger in reaction to regain some power in what feels like a powerless situation.
ANGER THREE - I have learned I can manipulate people by causing FEAR. I can get people to think and to act the way I want through fear. I can also blow smoke in their face so they do NOT see what I really did or really intend. I can make them feel responsible for my actions and omissions. In other words, it is B.S. anger, not real. It is a technique they have learned to use successfully to BULLY and to TERRORIZE others.
I discovered most family members and patients showed me Anger One and Two. Some family members, managers and ALL of the mean spirited doctors were showing me Anger Three.
Anger One and Two - I found if I stayed calm and let them ventilate they usually started to feel safe again and the anger dissipated, meanwhile I could figure out what caused the anger and help solve the problem.
With Anger Three - first, I had to see it was Three. This became almost instantaneous recognition over the years, so I had a choice how to respond once I recognized it. My B.S. monitoring skills improved. They could no longer manipulate me. My choices to respond would vary. I might give their phony anger a calm anger one/two response, or I might give them my own Anger One response (essentially a BACK OFF I know what you're doing and you don't scare me response). Once they see that you see through them they back off. They may seek other victims, but that would be another thread (see "Thrown under bus" by Sugarcoma.)
Specializes in burn ICU, SICU, ER, Trauma Rapid Response.
You've been lucky that you haven't been screamed at very often.
*** Obviously I am not the OP but I am going to jump in here. It's actually lucky for physicians, or anyone else that they don't scream at me. I don't tolerate it well and react very badly.
At some workplaces it is common to get screamed at and blamed for things that are beyond your control. There is at least one jerk in every workplace. Just realize that you can't do anything to change it.
*** This attitude is exactly why such horrible behavior happens, because it's tolerated. It should never be tolerated. When you tolerate it you are just enabling the behavior.
I have lots of my own nursing rules. The first one is that only people who sleep with me get to yell at me, so Ms. Physician you either need to shut the hell up or put out.
Specializes in OR, public health, dialysis, geriatrics.
Doesn't matter what sex the doc is. What they did is bullying and creating a hostile work environment. They need to be up. Most organization's have no-tolerance policies in place these days related to the fact that you could actually sue the organization for allowing an worker to intimidate staff.
There will always be those that get off on belittling others. I can understand having a bad day or an off moment, but if this is how this doc interacts with staff always they need to be talked to and they need to apologize to you. Most likely such an apology will be less than sincere, but it may wake them up to the fact that such behavior in the 21st century is not tolerated.
Your manager at the very least should be involved with defending the staff against this behavior and he/she should get the Chief of Staff or Chief of Surgery involved.
I have found that it is the most insecure mds, regardless of skill, that are the ones that act out. Always act as a professional this this or any doc. You cannot go wrong by not sinking to their level. I bet this md doesn't really recall this incident. It was one of many times in their opinion that the "nursing staff didn't do their job." When in truth it was yet another incident of this physcian not doing their job.
I agree completely with another poster that stated that this is a perfect example of why computer-based order entry works--if the doc didn't enter the order as STAT in the computer, I can't read their mind (ugh! Who would really want to anyway?!) and just "know" what they meant to tell me or another nurse. Jeez.
Why on earth is it your task to organise MRIs? I'm in Aust & no Dr would ask a RN (not in the hosp's I've worked in anyway) to do this. They either ring themselves or get their registrars/RMOs/interns to do it.
Is this part of your job? I would be querying why I'm doing all these extra duties. I don't understand why you have to do this. It is up to the Drs to organise the patient appointments, especially urgent ones.
And if anybody spoke to me like u say this Dr spoke to you, I would refuse to deal directly with them. I would make a formal complaint, & ask for an apology. Tell them they have to make their own appt's especially for urgent scans, etc, or get their interns or whoever it is in ur country, to do this.
I think this is just laziness on the Drs part to be honest, & it's a controlling way to keep you down as well.
I just read your story.....I am sorry this happened to you and DO know how you feel. If I were you, I would recall all the details of the event to the best of your knowledge and proceed with a write up of some type. At our facility we actually have a "disruptive behavior in the work place" policy. I had an episode with one of our MDs (actually happened to be the Medical Director of our service) and I did proceed with a write up. The outcome has been great actually! This Doc trended toward behavior issues ......very up and down. Like one day he would be very nice, teaching without being impatient etc......the next day he would be a totally impatient, hyper- critical of how things were done, questioning me on EVERYTHING i had done and why I had not called the MD (even if the things I had done were within our scope of practice for my job).
Bottom line.......I wrote him up, he was talked to by two of my bosses, I spoke with him individually and was very honest about how his behavior was impacting patient safety ie (Some Nurses & Residents would actually change their practice a bit, if they were dealing with him, or not quite tell him ALL pertinent information). I have to say this happened a few years ago and his behavior is MUCH better!!! He is now, very helpful, patient oriented, and a good teacher. I have to think I was NOT the only one who spoke up!!
This is why you need to think seriously about formally recording this incident. NO ONE should be a bully like that, don't care what kind of degree they have!!! Be strong and do the right thing!!!!!
resumecpr
297 Posts
Oops...please replace man and he with woman and she! LOL!