I've been nursing for about 4.5 years on a 30 bed Neuro unit. I love my job (for the most part) and feel pretty confident. I feel comfortable approaching most of the doctors and feel I have a good rapport with most of them, except one. This doc is known for being extremely nasty. This MD has been known to "find your weakness and go for the jugular" as some other nurses have put it. I respect the MD for their work. They are a very good and talented surgeon, but they will eat you up. This MD has a notorious rep among the nurses and most nurses dread dealing with them.
For the most part, I've not had any problems with this MD and they almost seemed to respect me. There was a particular incident earlier this year with this doc that has left me terrified of them. The MD ordered an MRI of the L-spine, which another nurse took as a telephone order (I was in charge that day). The order did not say STAT or today, it just said MRI L-spine. The patient was going to have to have it in an open MRI, so they weren't able to get to the patient until the next day, which I thought was fine since it was already 4pm in the afternoon and the order was not STAT or timed. Well, that MD called to the floor later and asked if the patient had the MRI. I said no, that's when the crap hit the fan. This MD is very passive-aggressive and has a way of making you feel 2 inches tall. The MD basically asked me why this MRI wasn't done STAT. I explained another nurse took the order and it was not ordered STAT. I told the MD I certainly would have made sure the MRI was done ASAP if the order was STAT. Then the MD basically went on and on in their passive-aggressive tone about how it should have been done asap, the pt could have a hematoma, am I willing to take responsibility if he's paralyzed, and on and on. After that, the phone went silent and they said 'thank you' in a smart *** way and hung up. I'm left speechless.
Anyhow, ever since this incident I am really terrified of this MD. I feel that I was slowly building some respect with them, and now they don't trust me and view me in a negative light. Everyone tells me to let it go, but I can't. When I see that docs name on the board, my heart sinks because I dread facing them. Even if I dot every single I and cross every T, they will find something wrong, give you a look that makes you want to crawl under the desk, and start lecturing you in a very demeaning tone. I can deal with docs yelling and acting like babies, but this doc just attacks you on a more personal level. Apparently this doc has been known to get nurses fired at another hospital. This MD has the 'gift' of making you feel worthless and stupid. I charge a lot and I get panic attacks knowing I will have to deal with this MD. I'm not sure how can I get over this fear of this MD. I know they are just a person, but I feel so disrespected around them. Sorry, needed to vent... Thanks for listening!!
Try not to let her intimidate you. She's a doctor, not GOD. Doctor's may viewed as the top of the chain of humanity but they aren't any better than anyone else.
You can also try to think of it like this.. even if she was a grocery clerk, you probably wouldn't like her. She's just not the kind of person you'd get along with. Do you let grocery clerks intimidate you?
In many hospitals, you can document the entire conversation (especially if there are witnesses), sign it, and submit it to the appropriate administrative parties as evidence of a hostile work environment.
When MDs pull an attitude with me, I tend to pull the "gosh, golly, gee, I'm just a dumb nurse" act. As in, "Golly, Dr. Spine, that sounds pretty serious. I'm just a dumb nurse and had no idea the patient's condition was so serious. As a dumb nurse and all, I can't really modify you're order or anything...gee, would you like to modify the order? That would be swell."
I read your post and had to respond before I even read any of the replies, as I was just telling someone today how back in the days when I was a young nurse in the late 1980's, docs could still throw a chart at you if they felt like it and get away with it. I don't know if thats still true today because for this and many other reasons, I got away from the bedside a long time ago. My experience was, there isn't anything you can do about these docs. Its the doc who brings in the business, not the individual nurse. And a hospital is a business that cares only for its bottom line. Thats the reality. The doc will win, and can treat a nurse pretty much however he or she pleases so long as he (or she) is bringing in business. And so long as the majority of the other nurses are willing to put up with it, a nurse who attempts to challenge such a jerk will probably find herself/himself written up at the very least. I have managed, in recent years, to turn the tables on some of these jerks by auditing their charts for insurance companies. It feels awesome to have some jerk who might have thrown a chart at me 25 years ago suck up to me today, because whether he gets paid by the insurance company depends upon what I find in his documentation.
Ah well OP... Docs like that? it's easy to make 'em cry (j/k).
Hey, usually it's the short ones that get all red-faced and throw tantrums, isn't it? I'm tall and I'll stand tall and put my hands on my hips, and say nothing (but will let out a slow sigh of bordom) as I gaze down at the little guy. I'm truly horrible. Hey, 5'10" is a threat to the short tempered and (short statured) MD.
Or, if on the phone, I'll loudly tap, tap, tap my pen on the desk, to just let him know, that "Her Highness" tires of this conversation and he'd better finish his tantrum before I hang up.
Just because the doc is able to do their job, that doesn't mean they don't have a personality disorder. She has found a job that tolerates that behavior. I hate to say this, but anyone who tolerates it is enabling them, which is very, very common. There are many avenues of recourse starting with HR, your boss, the CMO, or your state nursing association. You might not get satisfaction, and might suffer retaliation, but at least there will be a trail. None of this is your fault, she yelled at you for nothing that you did. You might get some satisfaction by thinking about her life. Do you think she is happy, with good relationships? Probably not. Don't let bad people get you down, you are in control of your thoughts and feelings. Let her stew in her dysfunction, you at least have the choice to opt out. One of the best things about bedside nursing is when you clock out, you are free.
nurses are part of the healthcare team. and without us, the whole operation would be frozen. unfortunately, some doctors think they are superior. from where i work, a lot of doctors jump at a chance to point out a nurse's mistake instead of giving credit to a job well done. i hope that in time it will be more fair and that nurses will learn more how to be assertive without getting aggressive. this is a major problem esp for nurses coming from a culture where doctors must be obeyed and revered.
it will be great if nurses working in the US where the set-up is really that of a team can give new graduates tips on assertive communication. [
Thanks! I guess I didn't mention this in my original post, but this MD is a woman. For some reason they tend to get to me more than men. Sounds crazy. I can deal with male docs being mean and hateful, but for some reason female docs really get to me more. I'm not sure why. Maybe because she knows where to hit to make it hurt...
No wonder.
Right now forget about respect or not. Stand your ground. Do not cower before her.
Firstly, I feel your pain. Sometimes docs can be mean and disrespectful, and it only makes our job more stressful having to deal with people like that.
Second, you do need to get over it! This man probably doesn't even know your name, or remember the incident. He decided to take his frustration out on you because you answered the phone. It could have easily been someone else had they been there instead of you.
Third, perhaps the person responsible for this miscommunication is the nurse who took the order. Did you ever approach her about this issue? Did she indeed write the order correctly? She is the person the doc should have ranted to - not you.
Maybe in the future when you get your wits back, you can talk to this MD about his actions and how it makes it difficult for you to have a positive working relationship with him. I believe that some people just need to be told. Maybe he doesn't even know that he's an orifice.
itsmejuli
2,188 Posts
I had one doc chew me a new ear yesterday and another today for matters that were not my fault.
Whatever.
I got my job accomplished to the benefit of my resident.
In one ear and out the other.