Scared of MD

Nurses General Nursing

Published

Specializes in Wound and Ostomy care, Neuro, Med-Surg.

I've been nursing for about 4.5 years on a 30 bed Neuro unit. I love my job (for the most part) and feel pretty confident. I feel comfortable approaching most of the doctors and feel I have a good rapport with most of them, except one. This doc is known for being extremely nasty. This MD has been known to "find your weakness and go for the jugular" as some other nurses have put it. I respect the MD for their work. They are a very good and talented surgeon, but they will eat you up. This MD has a notorious rep among the nurses and most nurses dread dealing with them.

For the most part, I've not had any problems with this MD and they almost seemed to respect me. There was a particular incident earlier this year with this doc that has left me terrified of them. The MD ordered an MRI of the L-spine, which another nurse took as a telephone order (I was in charge that day). The order did not say STAT or today, it just said MRI L-spine. The patient was going to have to have it in an open MRI, so they weren't able to get to the patient until the next day, which I thought was fine since it was already 4pm in the afternoon and the order was not STAT or timed. Well, that MD called to the floor later and asked if the patient had the MRI. I said no, that's when the crap hit the fan. This MD is very passive-aggressive and has a way of making you feel 2 inches tall. The MD basically asked me why this MRI wasn't done STAT. I explained another nurse took the order and it was not ordered STAT. I told the MD I certainly would have made sure the MRI was done ASAP if the order was STAT. Then the MD basically went on and on in their passive-aggressive tone about how it should have been done asap, the pt could have a hematoma, am I willing to take responsibility if he's paralyzed, and on and on. After that, the phone went silent and they said 'thank you' in a smart *** way and hung up. I'm left speechless. :eek:

Anyhow, ever since this incident I am really terrified of this MD. I feel that I was slowly building some respect with them, and now they don't trust me and view me in a negative light. Everyone tells me to let it go, but I can't. When I see that docs name on the board, my heart sinks because I dread facing them. Even if I dot every single I and cross every T, they will find something wrong, give you a look that makes you want to crawl under the desk, and start lecturing you in a very demeaning tone. I can deal with docs yelling and acting like babies, but this doc just attacks you on a more personal level. Apparently this doc has been known to get nurses fired at another hospital. This MD has the 'gift' of making you feel worthless and stupid. I charge a lot and I get panic attacks knowing I will have to deal with this MD. I'm not sure how can I get over this fear of this MD. I know they are just a person, but I feel so disrespected around them. Sorry, needed to vent... Thanks for listening!!

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Specializes in Trauma/Tele/Surgery/SICU.

Obviously this doc is a bully and is trying to make you take ownership of his oversight. If the MRI was supposed to be STAT it should have been ordered STAT. Who cares if he doesn't trust your judgement that really wasn't your judgement to make in the first place. As far as repsonsibility for the pt. being paralyzed that would be his not yours. We have a couple docs like this on my unit and I deal with them by being short, sweet, and to the point. When they start to drone on about something I just cut them off with a so thats your order o.k. bye, or I will say since your having an issue perhaps you would like to speak with my manager her extension is XYZ. When taking phone orders from him I would always ask from now on do you want that STAT?

Who cares if this guy respects you or not.

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He sounds like an ***. So treat him like the donkey he is. Hold your head up, you were right. HE, ordered the MRI wrong.

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Specializes in Wound and Ostomy care, Neuro, Med-Surg.

Thanks! I guess I didn't mention this in my original post, but this MD is a woman. For some reason they tend to get to me more than men. Sounds crazy. I can deal with male docs being mean and hateful, but for some reason female docs really get to me more. I'm not sure why. Maybe because she knows where to hit to make it hurt...

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Specializes in Trauma Surgery, Nursing Management.

I agree with the other posters. This jackwagon is simply embarrassed that he didn't order it STAT, and is taking it out on you. Stand your ground with him next time you see him. He is a bully. If you show the smallest amount of self doubt, he WILL go for your jugular. Be firm, be professional, but be strong. I have dealt with bullying surgeons many, many times and the fastest way to disarm them is to be confident, calm and factual.

Being scared of this guy is giving him power. Don't be scared...be assertive. It is a fine line to walk, I know. If everything is documented well and in a timely way, you have nothing to worry about.

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Specializes in Certified Med/Surg tele, and other stuff.

I don't take crap from Dr's and I'm not intimidated by them. Like another poster said, pass it on to your manager. The second one of them tried to be snotty, I'd be writing them up. I will take an occasional bad day, but ongoing nastiness won't fly with me.

Good luck with this woman.

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Specializes in critical care, home health.

I can totally relate to your experience. Fortunately, I now work at a place where the doctors are almost never abusive. Once in a while, a particular doc will be a jerk, but there is no screaming, throwing things, or physical assault. At my first hospital, verbal and even physical abuse by the doctors was the norm. It was terrifying to me; I didn't realize until I got out of there how much of a toll that environment had taken on me.

I just did a google search for "dealing with difficult people" and "dealing with angry people". I found many excellent articles, which I read with interest. Apparently, there are a lot of simple things you (and I) can do when dealing with these people; it's very empowering to know you don't have to be terrorized anymore.

My advice to you would be to do a little research of your own, then apply what you've learned when you deal with that doctor (or others like him) again. You might even find yourself looking forward to dealing with that doctor so you can try out your newfound knowledge on him.

One thing's for sure: you can't magically change him, but you can change the way you react to him. It's definitely worth your time to look into it because being stressed out like you have been is a living hell.

I intend to take my own advice and read more about this topic. I hope you do, too. Thanks for bringing up the topic, and good luck to both of us!

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Specializes in critical care, home health.

*Since the doc is a woman, please read my male pronouns as female ones. :)

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Specializes in ICU + Infection Prevention.

Remember, that MD puts on their scrub pants one leg at a time too.

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Listen to your coworkers. You are taking her too personal. Don't let her bother you- she is not bothered by it. Right now you are at home obviously worried because you posted this, and you need to wonder what she is doing right now? Certainly not thinking about what she said to you or any other nurse for that matter.

Anyone that has to insult, degrade, or belittle has an ego that needs to be stroked. Telephone orders should be read back and verified and it sounds like if she followed this routine and had the nurse read back the order for the MRI she would have corrected the mistake. Perhaps instead of using energy on yelling she could have used the same energy in ensuring the order was taken correctly the first time.

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Specializes in pedies and er.

I agree w/ the other posters too. quite obviously this MD has doubts about herself, therefore taking anything out on staff that she could. "when you have to build your own ego....", yada yada yada.. she has also obviously had this same problem giving an order over the phone, maybe a few times..who knows. that's one of HER "jugulars".

you have nothing to worry about. keep your confidence. make everything w/ her short, sweet, concise/factual. make yourself "indispensible", to all, but specially to her. don't be cocky, just be yourself. And..w/ each order..I too, would ask "do you want this stat"? what an a**.

I once worked for an MD that others were afraid of, people were fired,..the whole nine yards. when I heard that she didn't want me as her nurse...it ****** me off and I made myself better. guess who's NM came to me just a couple of months later..telling me to "sit down, youre not going to believe this. guess who wants you as her primary nurse?" LOL.....I worked w/ her for 18 years until I moved out of state.

hang in there, you're a great nurse!

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Specializes in ER, ICU, Education.

I would turn the comments back on her.

Example:

doc- "Why are you such an idiot! You should have known that MRI was stat!"

nurse-"According to facility policy, orders received as STAT will be completed within 30 minutes. Why did you not order it as STAT?"

doc-"Are you ok with that patient dying?"

nurse-"If you felt that the MRI was that urgent, you should have conveyed a STAT order and followed facility protocol."

Just keep putting the ball back in her court. It was not your oversight. It was hers. She was angry that she made an error and wanted others to take the blame.

PS- when people constantly criticize or gripe, you can also turn it back on them in the same way. If they are rude on the phone, tell them "I am calling you to communicate a change in patient status/get orders/etc. I am speaking in a professional manner. I expect you to do the same." If they continue to be rude, I say "I am behaving as a professional. When you are prepared to do the same, call me at 555-1212." Then I hang up.

People like this pick on those who accept it because they are miserable and see you as an easy target. Don't be an easy target.

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