Say What??????!!!!!!!!!!

Nurses Relations

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Say what??????/What is the strangest:uhoh21: , or funniest :lol2: things your pt's have told you, or that you've heard!!!!!!!!!:uhoh3:

Specializes in Psychiatric.

Along the lines of 'So what brings you here today?' I've gotten the following responses from my mental health community:

'The police'

'The cab dropped me off'

'I don't know; ask him' (that guy pointed to an empty corner in the room)

I also had on the medical unit recently a VERY cute LOL in for exacerbation of CHF, and her (very) anxious daughter came in to help with the admission. When we got to the medication list they kept telling me about 'the little pill that makes me pee!' I of course assumed they meant Lasix and asked them...the daughter yelled, 'That's close! It's called Latex!' lol

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My former MIL----sweet lady----had a hysto due to "endodemeosis"

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This is too sad to be funny. I hope she doesn't hurt anyone. Apparently the NCLEX isn't hard enough.

once asked an NP for B12 for a patient, she (shuffling through papers) says "but his thiamine level in the hospital was fine........

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As a fourteen year old girl was being prepped for her c-section....."You can't shave there....I just got those"

:stone

Had an sweet LOL who was confused. As I was attempting to put her in the geri chair (with tray) she said in a sweet voice "honey, you can't put me in a high chair. What will the babies eat in?"

She was the same one who said when I was helping the nurse insert a catheter "stop staring at my va jay jay".

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Specializes in Neuro ICU and Med Surg.

We had a elderly man on the unit one night and his family was at bedside overnight. The one daughter would constantly come to the nurses station right across from the room and ask the craziest questions. She would stare at the monitor and say "OH MY his b/p is only 109/70 and they want it at 140. YOU NEED TO DO SOMETHING!" The nurse went over and did get orders appropriate. She would start all over again and made us crazy. The most interesting question was when she came up to the desk around 0400 and aksed his nurse "Is my dad dead?" We did tell her infact her dad was alive. He had a HR and BP. He is breathing with the help of the vent. I couldn't believe she came up to us and asked us if her dad was dead. I have never had anyone ask us that before. She was one of the worst visitiors we have had on the unit in a long time.

Last week I was getting report for my new assignment since we had to make changes. At 2300 I went to get report and the offgoing nurse was telling me about the pt and why he was admitted ( trying to get report while the nurse was watching basketball playoff game was not easy). Pt was vented s/p surgery for epidural abscess and to be possibly weaned off tomorrow remained intubated since was difficult intubation. She said he was coughing while he was on the vent due to bronchio spasam. (I had to try not to laugh) The pt was coughing due to secretions not broncho spasam. Once I suctioned the pt and gave him something for pain he was much better.

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Specializes in ER.

"If I'm pregnant, I'm gonna' kill my man 'cause that means he's been cheating on me". :smackingf

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Specializes in FNP, Peds, Epilepsy, Mgt., Occ. Ed.

Quite a few years ago now, we were having lunch with my in-laws. My SIL had just been remarried. My MIL proudly announced "She's having her diaphragm removed so that she can get pregnant!"

Fortunately we were still standing in the cafeteria line and not eating/drinking yet. In fact, I managed not to laugh out loud.

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I had a hispanic guy (non Eng. speaking) come into triage one night around 2300 (whatever, it was late in my shift) and he had a friend w/ him who spoke a little English. When I asked how we could help him he pointed to his teeth and b/t him and his friend I thought he was asking for something to fix the gap...I knew I couldn't be hearing right because after all it was the EMERGENCY dept...I called the translator and sure enough the man was in the ED for braces...

I said "BRACES?????" ARE YOU KIDDING ME? THIS IS AN EMERGENCY DEPARTMENT! Go figure...

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Specializes in ER, Occupational Health, Cardiology.
I had a hispanic guy (non Eng. speaking) come into triage one night around 2300 (whatever, it was late in my shift) and he had a friend w/ him who spoke a little English. When I asked how we could help him he pointed to his teeth and b/t him and his friend I thought he was asking for something to fix the gap...I knew I couldn't be hearing right because after all it was the EMERGENCY dept...I called the translator and sure enough the man was in the ED for braces...

I said "BRACES?????" ARE YOU KIDDING ME? THIS IS AN EMERGENCY DEPARTMENT! Go figure...

Hey-seriously, there are a lot of immigrants (our area is inundated with them) who think the ER is where you come for anything and everything medical, and that it is FREE! :angryfire I'm sure any other ER nurse can tell you the same thing.

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Specializes in Emergency Room.

Had to cath a toddler, 2 or 3 years old at the most, whose mother was a psychiatrist we all knew and disliked. As I'm prepping, I hear mom tell her daughter "she's going to put that thing in your va-jay-jay." Um, hello? Anatomy lession? Or do psychs get to miss that day? I just let it go. I know we use some euphemisms for that "area" with kids, but why not say privates? Va-jay-jay is a pretty advanced and ridiculous euphemism for the genitals.

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I worked with a nurse that called pharmacy to ask if she could give 2 B6 po vitamins to her patient instead of B12 shot that was ordered because she couldn't find the B12 in the pixis!!!!!!!:uhoh21:

:lol2: I'm glad she called. Hopefully, they gave her the right answer. :lol2:

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Hey-seriously, there are a lot of immigrants (our area is inundated with them) who think the ER is where you come for anything and everything medical, and that it is FREE! :angryfire I'm sure any other ER nurse can tell you the same thing.

I hate to tell you but, usually for them, it is free. You and I pay for it. :o

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