Sad & Angry

Nurses Relations

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I am so upset about an issue in my unit.

A new CNS is working with us and she is horrible. She has terrible people skills & terrible manners & she had no class.

I think that they could of chosen better specially when there is someone that deserves a chance.

Im just venting.

Specializes in Critical Care.

Just asking if you don't want people to know you are talking about a work situation why are you using your name and also picture? You are making it real easy for someone at work to find out what you are saying here and that could cause issues for you at work!

Re work if you have time it's always good to read up on the pt such as H & P, consults and test results. Many times critical info can be missed or overlooked in the quick and harried bedside report, but that's another story!

As to the rude behavior, yes it would be nice if everyone was courteous, but the reality is in the high stress environment of nursing sometimes people can be abrupt. I wouldn't take it personally, but that's just me. If it bothers you could be assertive and let the person know they come across as rude. Whether that will make a difference in future behavior only time will tell.

So why do you think they promoted her to CNS? Do you think it is favoritism and that is what is bothering you or does she have the skills and knowledge but simply has an abrasive personality and she wasn't the one you preferred for the job?

Sometimes I think it is harder to accept a coworker getting a promotion because of our impression and relationship with them, but if you give them a chance many times they will prove themselves worthy of the job.

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Just asking if you don't want people to know you are talking about a work situation why are you using your name and also picture? You are making it real easy for someone at work to find out what you are saying here and that could cause issues for you at work!

** you are too funny. The avatar is a choice from plenty of avatars that all nurses has available & not my real name. I am sensitive but not naive

Re work if you have time it's always good to read up on the pt such as H & P, consults and test results. Many times critical info can be missed or overlooked in the quick and harried bedside report, but that's another story!

*** exactly IF I hAVE time!! There are so many conditions that are around that I only see once. At night we do not have access to things during the day such as a transport team, phlebotomy, iv nurse, OR tech, doctors (I have to call them at home). I focus on important things such as my orders and my patient.

As to the rude behavior, yes it would be nice if everyone was courteous, but the reality is in the high stress environment of nursing sometimes people can be abrupt. I wouldn't take it personally, but that's just me. If it bothers you could be assertive and let the person know they come across as rude. Whether that will make a difference in future behavior only time will tell.

** yes it would be nice if people were respectful such as what the hospital rules say. a few years ago on this program about employee "respect and courtesy" which is expected for every employee and part of yearly review.

So why do you think they promoted her to CNS? Do you think it is favoritism and that is what is bothering you or does she have the skills and knowledge but simply has an abrasive personality and she wasn't the one you preferred for the job?

*** I honestly have no clue.

Another nurse who I work with is also qualified and did not get the position. Definitely not me. They do not hire within the floor and promote floor nurses. They hired this woman who worked in the baby floor. So now she will work with us in surgery.

Sometimes I think it is harder to accept a coworker getting a promotion because of our impression and relationship with them, but if you give them a chance many times they will prove themselves worthy of the job

*** based on my history with her, and her interactions with me it has not been positive. She likes to gossip and talk about others which I refuse to do at work.

so that's why I come here.

I always liked the name Brenda so I use it in my avatar. I do not use real names and the people whom I speak of have different life details. Because I know this is a public forum that anyone can read.

I am such a respectful person and courteous even under stressful situations. I've never yelled at anyone at work nor ever put down a new nurse if they did not do something properly.

If she disrespects me I plan to address it right then and there because I will definitely not be a door mat to her madness

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You are right. I can't dwell on things like her low class manners.

I've never heard an educated person say "baby daddy". Not manny people say that here.

I am currently pregnant with my 2nd child (true story) and working and I've never heard anyone say how is your "baby daddy" when asking about my husband.

But it is what it is.

NOTE that I am venting here since I can't talk about this issue to anyone at work. None of my immediate friends nor husband work with patients so therefore No one understands nursing things I talk about.

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Specializes in Case mgmt., rehab, (CRRN), LTC & psych.
What does a CNS do? Is this a charge or reference nurse or something?
A clinical nurse specialist is one of the four types of advance practice nurses. They are educated at the graduate degree (MSN) level. The other three types of APNs are nurse midwives, nurse anesthetists and nurse practitioners.
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Specializes in NICU, PICU, Transport, L&D, Hospice.

Brenda1234

It's just that she doesn't understand nurse things since she is not a nurse.

Didn't you indicate that she is a CNS?

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That a CNS is actually working a unit and has patients is pretty astounding. Usually, they are the managers of a floor. If this is a manager and she sits in on report, then who knows when the last time was that she actually touched a patient or took an assignment.

Sometimes, people use phrases like "baby daddy" or whatever to attempt to be "amusing" or "ironic" or "sarcastic" or some other humor that after a night shift, I am surprised YOU are not rolling your eyes.

Just stick to the facts, Ma'am. And if Miss CNS wants the entire history of the patient, then maybe you can suggest the use of paper "brain" sheets with all of those facts listed.

Yes, it is very, very humbling when you are running amok and the CNS with the lawyer husband and the $200 hair-do comes in and starts being sarcastic and rude. But here's the thing--it will just eat at you. She could care less. So you need to keep your eye of the door for the end of your shift, be thankful you don't have to work with the woman, and know that you endevour to not be a nurse of questionable character. Because that is one of the main things that are missing in a number of facilities. Who cares about one's character--get the job done as cheaply as possible. And some people could care less about the money, and are just into the title.

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Specializes in OB-Gyn/Primary Care/Ambulatory Leadership.
Brenda1234

Didn't you indicate that she is a CNS?

Her counselor doesn't understand nurse things, not the CNS.

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Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
you are so right.

I used to work as a nurse assistant and I knew her when she was a regular staff RN. She gave me directions such as "move so I can sit" (when she wanted to use a computer I was using or sitting at)

she will say things such as "my baby daddy" when speaking about her son whom she had out of wedlock. She's married to someone else who's an attorney. After she got married to him, someone mentioned "her head couldn't fit through the door". When I give her report I will say the report and if I say "I am not sure what diagnosis this is" she will say in a very demeaning tone "it would be nice if you looked it up Brenda for your own information so you know"-

I work full time over night and in the morning I have no energy not desire to speak back to anyone.

I don't have to like everyone and I am sure everyone doesn't have to like me. But there is a way of talking to people so they can learn and grow. There is a way of talking to co-workers that is professional and less demeaning.

Simple things such as "please" and "thank you" go a long way.

Shes gotten in trouble for cursing at work. Thank God not at me because I would of gone straight to HR to report such behavior.

I like your advise because maybe she is blind to her behavior? ( I said that before to another co-worker -- and she said "no she knows who to talk down to and who to kiss up to).

But I think it's better to be honest and tell her what behavior of her towards me bothers me. I am much more confident as an RN in my skills, the way I treat my patients, and how I am as a person. So I definitely cannot let her be a doormat to her.

Attacking someone over a specific, job-related offense is one thing, but to talk about someone's marital status when she had her son, her newer marriage and her "class" or lack there-of is neither professional NOR classy. And she's right -- it would be good for you to look up your patient's diagnosis so you know. Going straight to HR to report someone's cursing isn't particularly professional or classy either. The classy and professional colleague would speak to the offender first. (And it's "would HAVE", not "would OF." The latter makes YOU look ignorant.)

So far, your complaints are still lacking in specifics. Did she actually curse AT someone, or is she guilty of looking at a monitor screen full of VT and saying "Oh, ****!", or did she stub her toe and make an involuntary exclamation when someone else was in the room?

Is this a case of YOU being passed over for a promotion you felt you deserved in favor of another nurse you don't like?

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You are right. I can't dwell on things like her low class manners.

I've never heard an educated person say "baby daddy". Not manny people say that here.

I am currently pregnant with my 2nd child (true story) and working and I've never heard anyone say how is your "baby daddy" when asking about my husband.

How's the air up there on that high horse of yours?

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Brenda, don't stew. When you find yourself stewing think of something cute and fluffy (that's what I do). Stewing is just a cloud of badness hovering over you making you feel bad about yourself and the people around you. Strive to always give others the best side of yourself--the one you respect, the one you would go to for advise or friendship.

I say this like a cheerleader for you because I know stewing--its a family heirloom for me, and I've learned a lot from watching people I love torment themselves with their frustration with others. It is not healthy. Turn the cloud into a freakin kitten. Or your favorite song.

This is your vent. Taking it at face value, it does sound like this person is pretty unpleasant. It's good that you bring this here rather than succumb to dumping it on a friend or worse, a coworker. But I would advise that you try to separate yourself from your anger. Don't let it ruin your day.

And when she is ridiculous toward you, (like criticizing you publicly for not having memorized one of your patient's exhaustively ICD-9 coded problem lists...) try to just let it go. That's her, not you.

There is a video on youtube--google "hamster eating popcorn on a piano". That one is stored in my brain and is one of my favorite thought diversions when I am getting grumpy. May you find peace and laughter in the snacking hamster.

Good luck

Kan

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Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
How's the air up there on that high horse of yours?

I wish I could "Like" this post repeatedly!

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Specializes in ER.
(And it's "would HAVE", not "would OF." The latter makes YOU look ignorant.)

I found the entire opening post to be a grammatical travesty. I think the OP isn't as 'classy' as she thinks.

My advise to the OP is, work on yourself. I have a feeling that you might also be coming across as unpolished.

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