S.C. 5th Grader Dies After a Fight at School

Bjulissa19 · Apr 12, 2019

2 minutes ago, Workitinurfava said:
I agree, the school system needs to protect the kids while they are in their care. This is some of the reason that parents home school their kids if they are able to, aside from wanting to make sure they get the best education without distractions.

Thank you for identifying the problem. It is the real issue here. Public schools are responsible for creating a safe environment - zero tolerance for violence.

Creating a positive atmosphere requires the involvement of the superintendent, school staff, and student. Empower the kids and let the students lead this change. idk - brainstorming out loud. it's just sad, and i'm afraid for my own children.

NutmeggeRN, BSN · Apr 12, 2019

3 hours ago, CanIcallmymom said:
This is a failure of the school system.

In many respects, yes...but the child who witnesses domestic violence on a regular basis, or is the recipient of domestic violence...may very likely exhibit those behaviors, as that is the "norm" ion their world.

There is only so much a school can do.

MrNurse(x2), ADN · Apr 12, 2019

11 hours ago, TriciaJ said:
I didn't take this as a slam on working mothers. I think it refers mainly to parents who just aren't very involved with their kids for one reason or another.

Exactly. Economic forces created a vacuum in the middle class for stay at home parents, but the real blow is the self absorbed generation we and the boomers created.

CanIcallmymom, BSN, RN · Apr 12, 2019

1 hour ago, NutmeggeRN said:
In many respects, yes...but the child who witnesses domestic violence on a regular basis, or is the recipient of domestic violence...may very likely exhibit those behaviors, as that is the "norm" ion their world.
There is only so much a school can do.

Very true.

Workitinurfava, BSN, RN · Apr 12, 2019

Bullies exist across all socioeconomic groups and the schools can do a lot more than they choose. I would want to stop the behavior at school while the child is young, because when that child becomes older, it is the teacher who will be next. There has been an increase in teacher attacks. If these kids can't control themselves, they need to be kept out of school.

LockportRN · Apr 12, 2019

On 4/9/2019 at 9:29 AM, ruby_jane said:
Then it becomes mutual combat and both students are prosecuted.
Not saying that's right. Just saying how it is.
However, that did not stop me from telling my kid that if anyone grabbed her she could swing her 40-pound backpack at 'em.

You are so right. As for your child, I told mine the same. A boy that was transferred in from another school was a notorious bully, but somehow 'protected' by administration. He was very very well reheorificed and good at punching behind the teachers back. The only ones to get in trouble were the kids that he hit.

His mother would pick him up from school, where invariable, he was starting with name calling of the other children. Mom would pull up, he would turn and punch another child in the face and jump into the car with mom. Mom would quickly drive away, KNOWING that it was her child being the bully.

One day, I received a call from the principal that my child was being suspended for hitting this kid after months of this kid hitting him with no change whatsoever. I told her that I was proud of my son and that I was going to take him out to dinner to celebrate. She was sooo mad and stated that I was a bad example. I told her that had she been doing her job and stopped this kid from hurting so many others for so many months, it wouldn't have come to this. My son told me that he was just so frustrated by being sucker punched right in front of this kids mom, that when he got hit the last time, his arm just shot out and he hit the kid back without thinking. I still think it's funny to this day that the kids that protected themselves or retaliated were all suspended, while this child just kept up the name calling, punching, pushing (down stairs, off the play gym) and they did nothing. This child never finished the year but transfered out once again.

I just don't understand how these bullies get by for so long, and are allowed to do so much harm to others without repercussion. Isn't this considered assault? If it were done by adults, there would be charges. But as children with the current state of schools being so hands off, nothing? Who protects the innocent child? How can a child learn if he/she is always worried about being hurt?

allnurses Guide · Apr 12, 2019

1 hour ago, LockportRN said:
You are so right. As for your child, I told mine the same. A boy that was transferred in from another school was a notorious bully, but somehow 'protected' by administration. He was very very well reheorificed and good at punching behind the teachers back. The only ones to get in trouble were the kids that he hit.
His mother would pick him up from school, where invariable, he was starting with name calling of the other children. Mom would pull up, he would turn and punch another child in the face and jump into the car with mom. Mom would quickly drive away, KNOWING that it was her child being the bully.
One day, I received a call from the principal that my child was being suspended for hitting this kid after months of this kid hitting him with no change whatsoever. I told her that I was proud of my son and that I was going to take him out to dinner to celebrate. She was sooo mad and stated that I was a bad example. I told her that had she been doing her job and stopped this kid from hurting so many others for so many months, it wouldn't have come to this. My son told me that he was just so frustrated by being sucker punched right in front of this kids mom, that when he got hit the last time, his arm just shot out and he hit the kid back without thinking. I still think it's funny to this day that the kids that protected themselves or retaliated were all suspended, while this child just kept up the name calling, punching, pushing (down stairs, off the play gym) and they did nothing. This child never finished the year but transfered out once again.
I just don't understand how these bullies get by for so long, and are allowed to do so much harm to others without repercussion. Isn't this considered assault? If it were done by adults, there would be charges. But as children with the current state of schools being so hands off, nothing? Who protects the innocent child? How can a child learn if he/she is always worried about being hurt?

I had a similar situation with my bullied child. The bully was a kid with several issues, adopted from a foreign country, reactive attachment disorder, Intermittent explosive D/O. The bullying started with verbal and escalated to physical attacks that involved weapons (bricks, rocks and scissors) I enrolled my son in martial arts training and he quickly gained confidence. During this time I was diligently working with the school to do something about the issue which they refused to do. They refused to identify the bully under FERPA (Like my son didn't tell me who he was) and basically said they couldn't do anything because of the child's mental health issues. So I informed the principal that I was giving my son permission to defend himself with whatever force necessary if this kid laid hands on him again. Kid attacked my son and he (my son) put said bully in an arm bar and held him that way until the playground monitor came to break it up. When released the bully came up swinging and the monitor just stood there so my son knocked him on his buttocks. I was informed that my son was suspended for fighting. We went to dinner and movie.

When my son returned to school the bullied kids started hanging around him and the bullying of everyone stopped.

I just told this story to a psych intern who asked what the cure for bullying was and I said teach the bullied to fight.

Bullies are predators plain and simple and one they I know about predators is they only go after the weak.

Hppy

LockportRN · Apr 14, 2019

On 4/12/2019 at 6:50 PM, hppygr8ful said:
I had a similar situation with my bullied child. The bully was a kid with several issues, adopted from a foreign country, reactive attachment disorder, Intermittent explosive D/O. The bullying started with verbal and escalated to physical attacks that involved weapons (bricks, rocks and scissors) I enrolled my son in martial arts training and he quickly gained confidence. During this time I was diligently working with the school to do something about the issue which they refused to do. They refused to identify the bully under FERPA (Like my son didn't tell me who he was) and basically said they couldn't do anything because of the child's mental health issues. So I informed the principal that I was giving my son permission to defend himself with whatever force necessary if this kid laid hands on him again. Kid attacked my son and he (my son) put said bully in an arm bar and held him that way until the playground monitor came to break it up. When released the bully came up swinging and the monitor just stood there so my son knocked him on his buttocks. I was informed that my son was suspended for fighting. We went to dinner and movie.
When my son returned to school the bullied kids started hanging around him and the bullying of everyone stopped.
I just told this story to a psych intern who asked what the cure for bullying was and I said teach the bullied to fight.
Bullies are predators plain and simple and one they I know about predators is they only go after the weak.
Hppy

Youch! I hate that it has to be this way sometimes but enough is enough. I like that you got him into martial arts as very often, they are taught self-confidence, quiet strength and the ability to stand your ground and very often can diffuse bad situations. I love that his strength helped other kids to band together. I do hope that the bully eventually gets help as (sigh I know it sounds contradictory) he probably has some needs that he doesn't know how to deal with any other way. Tough situation for all.

TeenyTiny, ADN, BSN · Apr 19, 2019

I've watched this thread as a lurker and haven't been able to chime in. I thought you all may be interested in the update that has been released this morning:

http://www.live5news.com/2019/04/19/investigators-schedule-friday-morning-news-conference-death-th-grader/

It was an arterial venous malformation that caused her death. During the press conference it was revealed she had been seen for headache complaints over the past two years prior to this - most recently two weeks before the incident.

Glitternurse, LVN · Apr 19, 2019

Thanks for posting the update. Interesting turn of events. I'm glad the other student won't have to live with the reality of causing a death. I do hope maybe she will learn from this experience.

DTWriter · Apr 20, 2019

Who is to say that the bully's actions did not hasten her death?

The bully terrorized the victim for 2+ years.

At the very least, the bully ought to face criminal charges for assault and harassment.

CanIcallmymom, BSN, RN · Apr 22, 2019

Wow, interesting. Thanks for the update.