Ridiculous Reasons to See the Nurse

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So, we really need a place to log the ridiculous reasons some kids have to get out of class and come see the nurse. You know, those pressing medical problems like, "my lips hurt." I had that one today.

Earlier this year I had a student come see me because she had a hair on her tongue!!

Somewhere there is a teacher giving these kids a clinic pass for these visits!

What are the crazy reasons to see the nurse at your clinic??

Specializes in ED, School Nurse.

"Can I get a bag of ice?"

Me: "What for?"

"He shook my hand and squeezed too hard."

Me: "Sorry, I'm out of ice."

This from a SENIOR in high school.

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"Can I get a bag of ice?"

Me: "What for?"

"He shook my hand and squeezed too hard."

Me: "Sorry, I'm out of ice."

This from a SENIOR in high school.

The bigger they are, yadda yadda...

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One time I had a girl come into my office because she was twirling her hair with her pinky and it got so tangled it cut off circulation to the finger. I had to cut about half an inch of hair off. Needless to say mom was laughing hysterically about the situation.

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Specializes in School nursing.

Student: "I have a pimple and it hurts!"

Me: "And?"

Student: "I've never had a pimple before." (Student is 7th grader.)

Me: "Welcome to puberty."

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I'm not a school nurse but I feel for you guys! When my now 4th grade daughter was in 2nd grade (and I was working nights) I got a call from the "school health aide" (ie someone in the office doing triage since the nurse was off that day) "can you come pick up your daughter, her neck is itchy" me....what? Is she sick? Did she get stung by something? Nope...her neck was itchy (the front not the back near her hairline) and you need to come and get her....

needless to say I drug myself out of bed and only stopped long enough to put on pants to get her....she was happy as a lark did some serious house cleaning that day she did while mommy slept off her night shift!

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Specializes in Hospice.
I'm not a school nurse but I feel for you guys! When my now 4th grade daughter was in 2nd grade (and I was working nights) I got a call from the "school health aide" (ie someone in the office doing triage since the nurse was off that day) "can you come pick up your daughter, her neck is itchy" me....what? Is she sick? Did she get stung by something? Nope...her neck was itchy (the front not the back near her hairline) and you need to come and get her....

needless to say I drug myself out of bed and only stopped long enough to put on pants to get her....she was happy as a lark did some serious house cleaning that day she did while mommy slept off her night shift!

Interesting how one school jumps the gun and another procrastinates; my daughter was in 4th grade she got dive bombed by 4 or 5 wasps in the school playground.

In spite of her feeling nauseated and just a little short of breath they waited 30 minutes to call me. Thirty. Minutes.

The principal (who knew I was a nurse) gave me this condescending "She's just nauseated because she's nervous" yada yada.

When I got to the school, she had puked all over his Italian loafers (good for her!) and was audibly wheezing.

Whisked her to the doc, got Benadryl, a shot of epi and a script for an epi pen.

Felt pretty satisfying to go back to school and inform the principal that she was now allergic to wasp venom.

And didn't apologize for her ruining his shoes.

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"OMG! Can you get the GUM off my UGGS?!!"

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:cheeky:

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I just got this: two boys walk in. The first one says, "My friend is feeling really tired." The second one says, "I didn't want to come down here but my art teacher said I had to. I think I'm tired because I went to bed so late." Really? REALLY? Back to class.

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Specializes in Acute Care, CM, School Nursing.

I had an 11th grader come to me with a headache. He said there was mayo on his chicken sandwich at lunch. He does not like mayo, and was so annoyed, that he got a headache... *sigh*

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Specializes in School Nursing, Hospice,Med-Surg.

Today is our Grandparent's Day/Veteran's Day Chapel. It never fails that if I try to go to one of these things I will get called out on some emergency. I wouldn't go except my own kid is a student here and presents with her class, too. ALWAY, as soon as her class is about to go on stage I am texted with a clinic emergency.

So, today, as her 6th grade class is about to recite the Declaration of Independence and my 89 year old WWII veteran grandfather is in attendance for the very first time, what happens??? I get an emergency text about a 7th grader..."need contact solution."

Someone please just come stab me in the eye now.

What have previous emergencies been, you ask?

"I just ate lunch and it feels like a chip is stuck in my throat."

"I have an itchy bug bite."

An actual full-grown adult staff member finds my note with my mobile # that says "text me in case of EMERGENCY" and determines each of these situations has been an emergency each time. Today, said staff member rolled her eyes because I waited 7 minutes to appear with keys to unlock contact solution. Yes, I sat through my daughter's presentation before appearing for the contact solution emergency.

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Specializes in School Nursing, Hospice,Med-Surg.

Speaking of such ridiculosity, can someone lead me to the list of things that constitutes an emergency at your clinic? I know I've seen it here before and plan to implement that here in my little piece of paradise. I feel that my little ones can survive just a while without cortisone cream and contact solution. Ya know, just rough it for a few.

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