Respect for sleeping time

SarasotaRN2b · Jun 8, 2005

When I finish with nursing school, I will most likely work a shift such as yours. You have to speak up for yourself. I know that it must be hard with having kids, a husband (another kid in a way!) and other responsibilities, but if you don't take care of yourself and get rest, you'll be no good for anyone. For your kids, I would see about maybe hiring a babysitter or mother's helper to get them to their activities. For your husband, maybe calling him during your shift at different times may realize that he is doing the same while you try to sleep.

Do you have maybe a friend that you can beg a couch for a couple of days...maybe if your family sees that this is important to you, maybe they will give you the hours you need to rest. As long as you continue seeing to everyone else's needs but your own, they will never respect your time.

Best of luck!

Kris

Trauma Columnist · Jun 8, 2005

I worked nights for about 15 years total and my family realized that if they didn't allow me to sleep, I wasn't very nice to be around. As my kids grew up, they did very well - never calling me unless there was a LOT of blood - lol.

gwenith, BSN, RN · Jun 9, 2005

Ring your husband at 2 am in the morning for a "chat" :devil: When he complains point out that HE wakes YOU while you are asleep and it is the same effect.

z's playa · Jun 9, 2005

Go to a hotel. Seriously. 12 hours of peace.

Z

fergus51 · Jun 9, 2005

Gwenith, you took the words right out of my mouth. I had a boyfriend who used to wake me up and I finally just lost it with him. I pointed out how inconsiderate he was being and made him feel extremely guilty. I would suggest you do the same (more calmly of course). Next time someone at church tries to guilt you, return the favor. Point out that you are human and actually need more than 2 hours sleep a night and appreciate that they understand that. Say something like "You wouldn't believe how many people are so inconsiderate and expect me to go without any rest. I'm so glad you aren't like that:)". After a sentence like that they can't possibly keep pressuring you without realizing how inconsiderate it is. People can only treat you badly if you let them. Stop being a martyr and take back some control in your life.

Tweety, BSN, RN · Jun 9, 2005

You're really going to have to get ugly. They'll learn after a few tongue lashings not to bother you. Obviously you're a Christian, but you're going to have to get ugly about it.

Good luck to you.

suzanne4, RN · Jun 9, 2005

A nurse that I used to work with was home room mother, leader of her son's Boy Scout troup, etc. and worked nights. If there was something that was pre-planned on, she was always there. If not, then she wasn't to be woken between 10 am and 5 pm. One particular mother used to call her all of the time during her lunchtime, about 1 pm. After multiple attempts to get her to stop doing this, she phoned her the next two nights while she was at lunch, once at 1 am, and the next, at 2 am.

Never had a problem with those calls again. :)

Just set some ground rules of when you are and are not available and stick to it.

mstigerlily · Jun 9, 2005

Start waking them up at 1am and tell THEM 2 hrs sleep is plenty and see how they like it. Make sure you sleep in darkness, with a lock and a sign on your door threatening dire consequences if they wake you up. Wear earplugs and a sleep mask. Turn the phone off. Get the out of the house as much as possible at least for the first four hours.

That said, if you work 12 hr shifts you should only work 3 a week, right? Why woudl you work 4-5 straight??? Maybe you could break them up anyway. won't work 3 in a row, I only work 1-2 in a row. As far as church, cut them off with a curt, "I work Saturday night and am not available that day and especially that time of day, sorry". Surely you don't have to work every Saturday night so maybe they will be appeased if you promise them one Sunday per month or every other month.

I have the same problem with my husband telling me that 4 hours is "plenty" however unless I have to back to work for a second consecutive night I usually agree with him and just get up. I worked last night and slept 9-12:30 today then got up and I feel perfectly normal right now. I will go to bed as usual tonight and work again Friday night.

Melissa

I have been working graveyard shift for about a year (12 hours shift 1800-0600) and I am constantly amazed how little respect that people have for my sleep time. My family feels that 2 hours sleep should be plenty and if I sleep longer than 4 hours, my husband is waking me up. My kids activities are scheduled around 10:00 am and I am constantly guilted into comitting to help in my church from 9:00 am to 12:00 on sundays even though I have just worked 4 or 5 12 hour graveyards straight. I have tried everything I can think of to convince everyone that I need to sleep too, but it falls on deaf ears. Anyone else have problems like this? What did you do to finally get your sleep?

Marie_LPN, RN, LPN, RN · Jun 9, 2005

I had a friend that thought nothing of calling me during the day for ANYTHING, even though she KNEW i did nights. And wondered why i was asleep?? Despite saying "i work at night" repeatedly, she'd say "oh" and then rattle on about something.

Finally had to do what someone already suggested. I took a few of my breaks around 2 or 3 am and called HER.

Point taken, no more calling.

baby&mommynurse · Jun 9, 2005

It's amazing how many people don't get it no matter how many times you tell them you work night shift... it's even more amazing when it's family members who don't get it. I used to work night shift. It was only for a very short time, but I know what it's like to come home and not be able to get any sleep... and usually I'm the kind of person that sleeps like a log. Seriously, I don't know how night shift nurses can do it. Ethereal, you're just going to have to get ugly or beat them at their own game. It worked for me. As much as you want to help out with your children's and church activities, you need your rest, too.

SmilingBluEyes · Jun 9, 2005

Well it's simple. You make it clear to others your sleep is sacred. You turn off the phone if needed. You use a fan or other white noise machine to block out noise. You get nasty if you have to.

But make no mistake. Your life and health depend on respecting and guarding your sleep. You have to teach others what this means.