all the moderators get notified of all reported posts. we look there and the first dozen posts are wonderful, helpful,really good.
then on occasion a little bickering between posters, totally off the subject starts up and takes up a couple of pages back and forth and sometimes gets nasty.
now, do we leave this mess, do we delete this mess...heck even i don't know. if you want to "disagree one on one" take it to pm and don't spoil the good posts.
ok y'all. debate is good. consolation is good. challenge is good.
backbiting, bi*****g, nasty comments are not good.
play pretty now and follow big daddy's rules you all agreed to when you registered here.
Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.
Good points, cargal..you are right..there are among us those who look for controversy and WILL Have THE last word, if it kills them.They are on my ignore list. Works for me.
Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.
rofl jon, my husband, who retires from the Air Force in just 3 years says that too...Walmart greeter, handing out stickers and shaking hands of the lil old folks on the benches at the front of the store. After more than 20 years in the military, this sounds good to him. I can't argue that. Me, I may wind up at the Outback or Olive Garden....at least I can get a NICE TIP for bending over backward to please people. sounds simple huh?
The greeter is a binary job, either the customers wants a cart, or they don't. Simplicity itself. Good luck to your husband, and thank him for his service for me. I bet old uncle Wally's sounds pretty good to him.
Specializes in LTC,Hospice/palliative care,acute care.
Originally posted by RNPD
BTW, I do think it is a good idea to remove posts that degenerate into bickering and name calling. When there are strong debaters who still offer useful info it should stay but if the purpose of the post is to inflame or name call-I say pull it!
I agree-and I find that when one resorts to taunting and name calling it is because they have run out of intelligent things to say......
One poster can change the entire tone of a thread. Usually, it's because they come with a judgemental, hyper-critical, non-empathetic attitude. When someone takes offense (can anyone blame someone who does?) then there is a snappish response. The war has begun! Eventually, the judgemental poster gets all self-righteous. "Well, I was just stating my opinion! Can't you allow for another viewpoint?" Or, even more sick, "I was just trying to help!" they whine. (Big Sigh). There's rarely an understanding or acknowledgement that maybe their critical post was offensive or inflammatory. And, soon, the Adrenaline Queens jump in to help mob and nit-pick every little thing. I've been called by someone for using the word "suck" in a post and calling it an obcenity. I would sure look at my wording if I didn't later see that same person using "suck" in several other threads. The point is, that the issue wasn't what word I said, but finding something to blast. The objections aren't real, at that point. It's a matter of finding something to nit-pick from a line out of an entire post, to a word, to an opinion or viewpoint.
I've had to learn that at allnurses, some people just are too abrupt, dogmatic, abrasive, opinionated for me to ever respect or get along with. For that, SmilingBlue Eyes, I agree entirely! The Ignore feature has been very helpful.
I would also like to suggest that we, as a collective group, begin to recognize that first post that changes the tone. We don't have to respond. Just hit the "report to moderator" link. No matter how justified, or provoked you feel, responding to the attack only esculates it. These people are far too good at what they do for you to ever successfully defend yourself. And these people do not have the ability to be insightful enough to understand how they offend people. So, just put them on the ignore list, report the post, and save yourself the aggravation.
(Learned from the school of hard-knocks here at allnurses.)
This online bullying serves no purpose except to erode the posting atmosphere, where those backed into a corner feel great frustration and inability to post in a manner that is constuctive and respected even though they may differ in opinions.
There are times when some who use their debating skills to belittle others to not posting, and if they dare continue, incur the wrath of those with greater debating skills.
We are not all master debators, and while I appreciate the opportunity to enhance my skills, verbal bullying, even in an articulate manner is still just bullying. In other words, the ability to exert verbal prowess does not make you right or contributory.
I find that stating one's views in an articulate passionate manner while listening and respecting the other posters" view and right to state it to be most productive. When online bullying starts, the thread is usually reduced to taking sides and the original content is lost and nothing is gained.
Blessings,
Ditto and WOW to all that you stated. I just reread your post and am needing to comment that I am so proud and pleased to be in such fine company... thank you for articulating what I have felt frustrated with...
I'd sure like to know which thread this post is referring to and I pray to the dear Lord it had nothing to do with me. Could somebody PLEASE tell me what this is all about???????
I think too, with regards to verbiage, that we all need to remember that it's not certain "words" alone that are taboo, but, how they are used. For example, I call my dog Fattie, but certainly wouldn't use that to refer to a member here who was trying to lose weight. It's not the WORD Fattie but how it is used. This is just common sense.
There is a major difference b/t stating "My job is shytty" to saying "You are a shytty person!" Again, it's not the word shytty but how it was used in context.
I'm sure we all know this but just in case...thought I would mention it.
I don't want to know. It's probably just the usual
stuff that happens every so often of which I've grown accustomed to, but never get into. So carry on folks and I hope this thread doesn't take up too much band width. Have fun!
cargal
411 Posts
Thank you Suzy, that is it......and nightengale,
thanks for your words, like the song....We are family, LOL.