Hello,
I received a BA in psychology in hopes of becoming a clinical psychologist. After I graduated, I got a job working on clinical research trials at a wonderful hospital in Nor Cal. I really enjoyed being in a hospital and after speaking with the clinical staff, I believed I could really enjoy a career in nursing. I must admit I also liked the idea of working on my feet rather than at a desk and not to mention and I really want to work with patients. I shadowed some nurses and decided to go for it.
I decided to get a CNA certificate and applied to the same hospital as a CNA, per diem. After my first CNA orient, I was a wreck. I had a major break down and realized that I do not want to be a CNA and do not want to purse a future career as a RN. It was overwhelming and I felt like my CNA training in a skilled nursing facility did not prepare me for acute care at all. Also, I do not like working on the hospital floor setting. You never know what can happen and that stresses me out. It is also very fast paced and you must get in and out of each room as quick as possible. I would rather get to know my patients on a mental health level. I believe my first instinct to be a clinical therapist is more for me. I need to take my time in my work and need a calm environment. I have very bad anxiety. I know I don't want to be a RN. However, I just completed my first orient and have four more to go. It is per diem so I could work as a CNA while I explore other career options. However, the thought of doing this for a long period of time stress me out. I truly hate it and know I will have some much anxiety every day going into work and I don't want to waste anyones time and money. Ideally, I would like to quit the CNA job (esp. because i know I don't want to purse RN) but I don't want to burn any bridges. Is it best to stick it out even if i'm miserable and will potentially do very poorly or should I quit now?
Please help, feeling very upset and lost,
- Sophie