"What do you need Christmas off for? You don't have kids!" (rant)

[Marie_LPN, RN]

It's that time of year again, even though the holiday schedule has been out for a year, people are making last minute switches. No big deal except for a co-worker that approached me, after seeing i have Christmas Eve and Christmas Day off.

Started out nice: "I saw you had both days off, are you interested in trading them?" I said "Actually i'd like to keep both days off, my family has been through a lot, my dad's brother died a couple of weeks ago, and i'd like to go back home for those days." She said "Hmm, guess i won't be home for my kids for Christmas." I didn't say anything or do anything. Then after a minute she says "You don't have kids, what do you need Christmas off for?":angryfire

It's a wonder my head didn't explode. First off it wasn't her dang business what i wanted Christmas off for anyway, secondly how dare she make such a comment, as if those days won't mean squat to me all because i don't have children.

I'm sure her kids are important to her, i'm sure she would like to be there on those days, but the fact that i do not have children doesn't mean that things in my life are no less important. Nor should it mean that i should want to rearrange my life to accomodate someone that does. Which i've had to do a few times as a result of her taking 3 days weekends since august (we do self-scheduling). As a result of her doing this, i get screwed out of 3 days weekends 90% of the time. Her excuse for needing 3 days weekends? "Because i have kids." Not "My kid(s) has an appt., game, tournament, etc." "Because i have kids."

In no way am i knocking her because she has kids, or anyone, but it's almost like she expects accomodation from people because of the kids. It's not fair to everyone else. Everyone else manages and they have children. And everyone else at work wouldn't have made such a self-entitling statement about someone with no children having the holidays off, because most people take their turns every year. Just because i don't have children doesn not mean that i don't have a life or that i don't have things to do.

[penguin2]

She was rude to say that, and if she doesn't want to work Christmas "because she has kids" she should do something besides nursing or she shouldn't have had kids!! There are options-- I worked 3-11 when my kids were young, that way I always had Christmas morning w/them- when I switched to days, we had our Christmas on the eve if I had to work C'mas day-- you can't go into nursing expecting to get special treatment "because you have kids"- I really hate these inflexible types. I worked w/one who never wanted to take call on holidays because "my husband's a TEACHER......". Puleeze......

[SmilingBluEyes]

Ummm, who are you directing this to? I certainly hope not me. I am not even in school, let alone 'putting my child-related woes and concerns on my childfree coworkers.' the quote you responded to was directed to me, a thinking-about-nursing type who is pretty sure she wants to wait until all these 'woes' aren't an issue, or can at least drive themselves around :) I was just wondering out loud...isn't that the percursor to you-knew-what-you-signed-up-for? Sheesh!

It was directed to ANYone thinking he or she is "entitled" to be off on Christmas (or another holiday) simply because he/she has kids. If the shoe does not fit, you certainly need not put it on.:)

ps...I have kids.

[Cute_CNA, CNA]

I am not a nurse yet and heck maybe I may sound like a jerk about this. But I am not working Christmas day or Thanksgiving day. Period. I don't mind working any other holiday or taking other wacky shifts. But those two days each year I would want to spend with my family and I refuse to work them. Christmas Eve, the day after Thanksgiving or the day before, Easter, my birthday or anything else I don't care. I don't think having kids or not having kids should affect who gets days off. I just refuse to work those two specific days. I realize as I write this that I must sound like such a brat.

You might want to consider a change of occupation, or work in a clinic instead of a hospital. Heaven forbid you might be expected to work on a holiday.

[nurse_clown]

i have two kids, a husband and a dog. i'd love to have christmas and new years off. i worked thanksgiving. i don't mind working christmas but i'd rather have new years off.

just because i have kids, doesn't mean i should expect special treatment. i never ask to leave early to pick up the kids from daycare. i don't come in late because i've had to drop off the kids. my work wont put up with that. where i work, if you can't handle the schedule, then find work elsewhere. pretty cold, eh?

it's hard finding a balance. just because someone doesn't have kids, it doesn't mean that they should work all the time either.

you know, different strokes for different folks!!!

[Mona Mona, BSN, RN]

Wow. This thread is so enlightening....

I am taking pre-requisites for nursing right now, on the waitlist. I don't have kids yet either....

I would never expect someone to switch with me for that reason (kids) alone. I am an adult, and I know what I am going into (giving up accounting/office work for nursing/hospital work.) Yes, it will suck working some holidays, weekends, etc. However, I have a very understanding DH, and also, plan to take some time OFF when I have kids--and yes, I know not everyone can do this either.

To each their own.....I don't care what floats your boat, as long as it doesn't sink mine.

And DON'T say anything to me about kids, and me not having them, because believe me, I would love to, and just have not been blessed yet. That would really make me mad, and sad - to get it thrown in my face that I don't have kids.

I just, in general, cannot believe some people's rudeness. Not even about this subject, but ANYWHERE. At the grocery store, gas station, movie theatres, etc. Some people are just rude, period. I have to just hope that it's not only "me" they are mean to, and just do the best I can.

[sweet31eve]

I am a nurse in surgery and have to take call over Christmas. Actually I am on call Friday the 23rd-Monday the 26th. Am I upset about it? Yes! Would I like at least one day to be home with my husband and kids? Yes! Do I expect a nurse without kids to take it for me? NO! But it would be nice if a nurse- any nurse would offer to take some of it for me...even half of a day would be nice. (Heck, I would like it if someone would cover me for an hour to go to church on Christmas Eve) I know it is just one holiday and next year I won't have to do it, but it still is frustrating that my co-workers, my so-called friends aren't willing to help have some time to spend with my family. I would never leave a nurse to cover a four day run of call....especially over Christmas!

:angryfire Sorry...sore subject for me right now....:chair:

but to get back what the original post was talking about-my time is not any more precious than someone that is not a parent. I would never say that!

Shame on that nurse. I hope she realizes how wrong she was to say such a thing....But hey, Merry Christmas

[Bipley]

LOL... staff may well close one thread but this thread proves, we either start a new one or open an old thread.

Lesson to staff.. some issues simply need to be discussed and debated. It may not be pretty but that does not mean it does not need to be discussed!

[Marie_LPN, RN, LPN, RN]

This thread's been going for awhile.

The nurse that had that rude reply to me, I only speak to her if it's pertinent to the job. Two days ago, she sat down beside of me in the breakroom (only chair at one of the tables), and i got up and moved to one of the couches.

Why?

She constantly whines to anyone that will listen that she HAS to work Christmas. Now what she says after that i don't know, i tune her out after that.

She never did apologize for what she said. She attempts to talk to me like nothing ever happened, but i don't answer.

Maybe one of these days she'll get a clue and realize it's all not about her.

And the supervisor had announced in report a couple of weeks ago about everyone taking their turn for holidays, and if they don't want to work the day, either find someone to trade with, or suck it up and work.

[grimmy, RN]

i am a nurse in surgery and have to take call over christmas. actually i am on call friday the 23rd-monday the 26th. am i upset about it? yes! would i like at least one day to be home with my husband and kids? yes! do i expect a nurse without kids to take it for me? no! but it would be nice if a nurse- any nurse would offer to take some of it for me...even half of a day would be nice. (heck, i would like it if someone would cover me for an hour to go to church on christmas eve) i know it is just one holiday and next year i won't have to do it, but it still is frustrating that my co-workers, my so-called friends aren't willing to help have some time to spend with my family. i would never leave a nurse to cover a four day run of call....especially over christmas!

:angryfire sorry...sore subject for me right now....:chair:

but to get back what the original post was talking about-my time is not any more precious than someone that is not a parent. i would never say that!

shame on that nurse. i hope she realizes how wrong she was to say such a thing....but hey, merry christmas

we have an rn who is on call for christmas eve offer $25 - cash - to anyone who would take half or all of her call that night. i don't know if anyone's taken her up on it, but its a novel incentive...seems like everyone is looking for more money these days. i'm sorry you're saddled with that much call. i volunteered to take christmas day call, and everyone who's oncall or working that day is sharing in a potluck lunch. we're going to make it festive!

[MrsWampthang, BSN, RN]

I have kids and I have never had the good fortune of having any kind of tradition with my kids for the holidays. First I was married to a firefighter for 12 years and always had to work Christmas around his schedule, then my ex and I divorced so we had to not only work Christmas around our two schedules but then we had to work around his current wife's family schedule for the holidays which really made it hard to have any type of traditional Christmas. On top of that, I worked on the ambulance and later became a nurse so holidays haven't been anything special to me since I was a kid. In fact, if it wasn't for my kids, I probably would have stop celebrating Christmas a long time ago; but that's another story. Anyway, over the years, I have learned to adapt my time that I celebrate to my schedule and have simply celebrated on different days as needed. It isn't right for anyone who works a job that requires holidays to expect anyone to work for them, simply because they hve kids. If your coworker wants time off with her kids when she wants time off with them, then she needs to find a job where she can do that and not expect her current job to work around her. Have fun with your family at Christmas and enjoy your time off.

Pam

[realnursealso/LPN, LPN]

I just wanted to say, Merry Christmas to all my friends on AllNurses. Isn't that what it is all about? Happy Holidays, God bless you all. Some of us will be working, some of us will be home, but remember, it's all about a baby, born long ago, and he was someone's child.

[lee22]

Who cares about her kids-really!!!!!!!!!!!!! Are you worth less as a person because you don't have any? Is your family any less important? All of us know that nursing involves working weekends, holidays and nights. Why should the childless staff have to do the crappy part of their job? If you don't like the hours and it interferes with your family life, find another profession. For all you childless people out there----think about the benefit to the planet and the environment--less consumers means a prolonged and less polluted world---you are doing something great for the "collective good"