Went into a patient's room today - the son(patient) is a pleasant man in his 40's with mental retardation. The MD's removed his epidural today and he still has a chest tube. I tell him, "Ask for your pain medication when you need it. If you don't need it, it would be better not to take it."
Right before this - Mom had told me she was going to go home at 10 pm. But after I said this, she became irate.....she said the following.
"New nurse's don't know anything. I have been a nurse for a long time. A nurse kills 2.5 patients in her career - that's a statistic. Nurse's don't have the corner on dealing with pain and doctors don't overperscribe what patients can have. I am glad that when I am old, I won't have to worry about being in a nursing home because you young nurses will take care of me to where I don't leave the hospital."
I really tried not to be baited by what she said. I commented that she had a dim view of her professions future, that I WILL give her son pain meds when he asks for them and needs them.
She demanded to know my last name, and when I asked why, she said, " I only take down the full names of people I don't think are going to give good care to my son. His father died 6 years ago and he's all I have left."
I was stunned that someone would have such a dun view of our profession! And after I was just trying to give the patient some options!
So I had the doctor talk to her and I wrote a note detailing all this and put it in the chart. The intern said that she said she was just tired andgrumpy and she knew she was out of line.
So There you have an older nurse's view of where our profession is going.
Have any of you ever seen research data to collaborate her claims that a nurse "kills 2.5 people in their career." ?
Went into a patient's room today - the son(patient) is a pleasant man in his 40's with mental retardation. The MD's removed his epidural today and he still has a chest tube. I tell him, "Ask for your pain medication when you need it. If you don't need it, it would be better not to take it."
Right before this - Mom had told me she was going to go home at 10 pm. But after I said this, she became irate.....she said the following.
"New nurse's don't know anything. I have been a nurse for a long time. A nurse kills 2.5 patients in her career - that's a statistic. Nurse's don't have the corner on dealing with pain and doctors don't overperscribe what patients can have. I am glad that when I am old, I won't have to worry about being in a nursing home because you young nurses will take care of me to where I don't leave the hospital."
I really tried not to be baited by what she said. I commented that she had a dim view of her professions future, that I WILL give her son pain meds when he asks for them and needs them.
She demanded to know my last name, and when I asked why, she said, " I only take down the full names of people I don't think are going to give good care to my son. His father died 6 years ago and he's all I have left."
I was stunned that someone would have such a dun view of our profession! And after I was just trying to give the patient some options!
So I had the doctor talk to her and I wrote a note detailing all this and put it in the chart. The intern said that she said she was just tired andgrumpy and she knew she was out of line.
So There you have an older nurse's view of where our profession is going.
Have any of you ever seen research data to collaborate her claims that a nurse "kills 2.5 people in their career." ?
I'm not a nurse yet, so you can take my response with a grain of salt (please) but I think she is only lashing out because she is distraught. She will probably look back and feel bad for what she said (if you didn't take the bait that is and start an argument). I think that when any professional has to view things from the other side of the fence they might not "think" like a professional...sometimes they think like a parent instead.
As a parent I know I do a lot of research on somethings and may know them (or think I know them) but suddenly when I'm faced with something with my own children I feel like a complete dolt and my mind becomes a bit foggy. That is probably her situation...she's upset and can't think straight and wants to lash out and find fault in any way she can to "gain control" of the situation. You just happened to be at the right place in the right time for a tongue lashing!
That is just my When I was in the corporate world and was working with a more "seasoned" coworker that didn't like that I was in charge of a project and tried to berate me...I would try the befriending tactic...by asking their advice or past experiences...when they felt they could be "used" they let down their guard. I was always the youngest employee in the departments but always was the most respected (not to toot my own horn) mainly because people want to "feel" appreciated. Now granted it was just a tactic! I'm not really thinking the same way I'm acting!:chuckle
Try not to take her remarks personally; she probably would have said the same things to any other nurse. I would write the mother a "fools pass" for that day.
I wonder if she misunderstood your intent about the pain meds. A guy needing an epidural post-op is likely to run into some serious pain control issues if you don't keep close tabs on his pain. He might not have the ability to call for pain meds when he needs them. He will need them before his pain becomes unbearable and more difficult to get back under control.
As you can see by my signature, I think of myself as someone who is a work that is not completed. I am not the person that I thought I would be and I am journeying towards the person that I want to be. We are all on that same journey. We all have stresses in our lives. Something that you cannot tell by looking at us that drives us crazy and when someone hits us wrong, makes us lash out.
That's what happened to that lady. I guess I get really sensitive to this kind of comments because I have been burned by physicians, co-workers, and patients who were 2-faced backstabbers.
I also think my response to her was something that would not have been possible a year ago. A year ago, I would have been focused on "winning" adn "being right". This year, I just let it roll over me, try to make neutral comments and not say anything inflammatory to accelerate the situation.
Older nurses can teach us a lot. But I also think that the newbies know a lot, they just need a little grooming to get them to be the great nurses they can be.
I did hear somewhere that medical mistakes kill 195,000 Americans/yr -- but that certainly wouldn't be limited to NURSES! I think she twisted it just to be mean & intimidating.
I have noticed that some family members come in on day one and are incredibly rude, complain about everything and then by day two or three have calmed down and actually apologize about their behaviour. I think it's because they are scared, however, it doesn't excuse the behaviour.
I hate it when they sleep in the room.
It's really difficult on the night shift because the family members wake up every time you come in, ask you what you're doing and why you need to do it, and then complain about everything you did to day shift. And we either come in too often and us waking up the patient is impeding recovery or we don't come in often enough and that is why the patients recovery is so slow. Grr.
Nurse's don't have the corner on dealing with pain and doctors don't overperscribe what patients can have.
?
Was she kidding?????? Most of the pain management cases I have on my load today are a direct result of physicians overprescribing pain medications. I think you just got hold of a cranky mom who was being defensive. What you describe is normal behavior for the parent of many retarded patients. Too bad she had to bring nursing into it. Haven't heard the the 2.5 patient kill stat. If this is true, all of us must wonder who they were.....
Yeah - I am really curious about the statistics she referenced.
From what you've said here, she didn't "reference" that statistic at all.
Since each of us individually cannot kill 1/2 a patient, that little tidbit, even if based on data of some kind, is the kind of pseudo-statistic hyperbole commonly presented by the media.
Too bad she, a nurse herself, believes it. How terrible to carry around low-self esteem like that.
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:lol2:
Abishag
168 Posts
I'm not a nurse yet, so you can take my response with a grain of salt (please) but I think she is only lashing out because she is distraught. She will probably look back and feel bad for what she said (if you didn't take the bait that is and start an argument). I think that when any professional has to view things from the other side of the fence they might not "think" like a professional...sometimes they think like a parent instead.
As a parent I know I do a lot of research on somethings and may know them (or think I know them) but suddenly when I'm faced with something with my own children I feel like a complete dolt and my mind becomes a bit foggy. That is probably her situation...she's upset and can't think straight and wants to lash out and find fault in any way she can to "gain control" of the situation. You just happened to be at the right place in the right time for a tongue lashing!
That is just my
When I was in the corporate world and was working with a more "seasoned" coworker that didn't like that I was in charge of a project and tried to berate me...I would try the befriending tactic...by asking their advice or past experiences...when they felt they could be "used" they let down their guard. 
I was always the youngest employee in the departments but always was the most respected (not to toot my own horn) mainly because people want to "feel" appreciated. Now granted it was just a tactic! I'm not really thinking the same way I'm acting!
:chuckle