"New Nurses's Don't Know Anything."

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Went into a patient's room today - the son(patient) is a pleasant man in his 40's with mental retardation. The MD's removed his epidural today and he still has a chest tube. I tell him, "Ask for your pain medication when you need it. If you don't need it, it would be better not to take it."

Right before this - Mom had told me she was going to go home at 10 pm. But after I said this, she became irate.....she said the following.

"New nurse's don't know anything. I have been a nurse for a long time. A nurse kills 2.5 patients in her career - that's a statistic. Nurse's don't have the corner on dealing with pain and doctors don't overperscribe what patients can have. I am glad that when I am old, I won't have to worry about being in a nursing home because you young nurses will take care of me to where I don't leave the hospital."

I really tried not to be baited by what she said. I commented that she had a dim view of her professions future, that I WILL give her son pain meds when he asks for them and needs them.

She demanded to know my last name, and when I asked why, she said, " I only take down the full names of people I don't think are going to give good care to my son. His father died 6 years ago and he's all I have left."

I was stunned that someone would have such a dun view of our profession! And after I was just trying to give the patient some options!

So I had the doctor talk to her and I wrote a note detailing all this and put it in the chart. The intern said that she said she was just tired andgrumpy and she knew she was out of line.

So There you have an older nurse's view of where our profession is going.

Have any of you ever seen research data to collaborate her claims that a nurse "kills 2.5 people in their career." ?

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Oh she refused to go home too..... she's sleeping in there now...

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I'd have been tempted to just smile and say "Not to worry, Mom. I've already killed my quota."

What a moron. Sorry you have to put up with such an idiot.

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What I wanted to ask was, "How many patients have you killed, since you have been a nurse for so long?"

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It might be better for him to take his pain meds as the dr. prescribed, esp. on the first day after epidural is d/c - pain is managed better if you medicate it before it gets bad. Maybe that's what the mother was getting at.

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I agree that we should be medicating his pain, what bothered me was that her views of me and of our profession in general.

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Specializes in Jack of all trades, and still learning.
I agree that we should be medicating his pain, what bothered me was that her views of me and of our profession in general.

Good on you for involving the doctor and documenting everything. What did she think you were going to do to him? For goodness sake! Now, you should have asked her if she had gone over her 2.5 patients! Perhaps if she takes such a dim view of nurses then she shouldn't have any nurses at all looking after her son...after all, they may kill him!!!!

(((diarygirl)))

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She has a very fatalistic view - but does not want to help the new nurses out.

I have been wondering for a while what those of us who have been doing this for a while can do to mentor and encourage and teach new nurses....... We need to be building each other up, not tearing each other down.

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I wouldn't take the mothers comments to heart.

From working in an Emergency Department and nursing for a while, you realise that people often say things in anger, frustration, stress or fatigue that they don't literally mean.

Sure there may be an element of intent, in what she had to say, but not necessarily the way it actually came out. The mother is obviously concerned for her childs welfare (Which mother/parent wouldn't be), and she is probaby fatigued, especially as you mentioned she was sleeping in the boys room. You can also guarantee, that if she has a health background, she is possibly going to scutinise anything the health professionals do, because they would never be up to the standard that she would wan't for her son. I would not be surprised that this woman had been the patients primary carer, outside this admission.

I have kids, and I know when I am stressed from study, work and sleep deprivation, I can say ridiculous things in my rantings. When I yell at 3 o'clock in the morning, I don't really mean that, "I CAN'T STAND THEM ANY MORE!". I really mean, "Please go back to sleep, I am tired, and it is very early." (which is intended in a calm serene voice of course).

I had a colleague who had a daughter who worked at McDonald's, who asked why she (her mother) got aggitated when clients complained. Apparently the McDonald's philosphy is "any comment, is constructive criticism, no matter how it is delivered." Therefore their employees should be greatful, for the advice so that they can deliver a better service. (I don'y know if they smile as they spit in your burger out the back).

Sometimes you just need to grit your teeth, ensure you are doing the best you can, and reflect on the comments to see how you can do it better later. Don't forget the benifit in debriefing to a collegue over a beer at the pub (or equivelant), have a *****, then do the previous and move on.:typing

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Specializes in Cardiac Telemetry, ED.

Sounds like an unhealthy coping mechanism. Don't let her problem be yours.

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Specializes in ICU/Critical Care.

Had an older female patient who I would guess was in her late 80s. Her daughter was a retired nurse. The patient was admitted for CHF and pneumonia and the cardiologist ordered a 2Decho. When it came time for her to go down for the echo, her daughter flipped out on me, screaming at me at the nurse's station "WHAT ARE THE CLINICAL INDICATORS OF CHF, SHE HAS NOO PEDAL EDEMA, (insert more ranting and raving),DOCTORS HEAR ORDER EVERY TEST THEY CAN, SHE JUST HAD A 2DECHO LAST YEAR"...I was tempted to say "but this is this year".. After her little tirade she threw her hand in my face and stomped off. Whatever!!!!

I just couldn't believe that she went off on me. I didn't order the test. Later that day when the attending came in I had him write transfer orders to a med/surg floor. The patient was too stable to be on my unit anyhow.

Excuse posts 11/12...my computer was acting up. don't know what happened, I swear...

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The mother just apologized to me. She said I was doing a good job, and we came to an agreement on how to manage his pain without discouraging him from asking for meds.

Anybody know about the studies she refered to though>>

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