Went into a patient's room today - the son(patient) is a pleasant man in his 40's with mental retardation. The MD's removed his epidural today and he still has a chest tube. I tell him, "Ask for your pain medication when you need it. If you don't need it, it would be better not to take it."
Right before this - Mom had told me she was going to go home at 10 pm. But after I said this, she became irate.....she said the following.
"New nurse's don't know anything. I have been a nurse for a long time. A nurse kills 2.5 patients in her career - that's a statistic. Nurse's don't have the corner on dealing with pain and doctors don't overperscribe what patients can have. I am glad that when I am old, I won't have to worry about being in a nursing home because you young nurses will take care of me to where I don't leave the hospital."
I really tried not to be baited by what she said. I commented that she had a dim view of her professions future, that I WILL give her son pain meds when he asks for them and needs them.
She demanded to know my last name, and when I asked why, she said, " I only take down the full names of people I don't think are going to give good care to my son. His father died 6 years ago and he's all I have left."
I was stunned that someone would have such a dun view of our profession! And after I was just trying to give the patient some options!
So I had the doctor talk to her and I wrote a note detailing all this and put it in the chart. The intern said that she said she was just tired andgrumpy and she knew she was out of line.
So There you have an older nurse's view of where our profession is going.
Have any of you ever seen research data to collaborate her claims that a nurse "kills 2.5 people in their career." ?
She has a very fatalistic view - but does not want to help the new nurses out.
I have been wondering for a while what those of us who have been doing this for a while can do to mentor and encourage and teach new nurses....... We need to be building each other up, not tearing each other down.
Sorry you have to deal with this DG. If nurses eating their young exists, this might be a good example.
Also, if she's a nurse how many pt's has she killed? I'd ask her.
I have never heard of this statistic. And if I calculate this right, you've been a nurse for ~5 years. You're not new. You travel so obviously people trust you if you can be thrown into an environment with very little orientation and succeed.
Yup - I have been a nurse for almost 6 years......Clearly not new! LOL
I have no doubt that nurses failures contributes to patient deaths, but I there are times when there are multiple system errors that contribute to these things.
I get cranky too when I have not slept. It brings out the worst in us all -
Yeah - I am really curious about the statistics she referenced. She said she had a good friend who was a nursing instructor, and I think that was where she heard that information.
Having been a nurse for almost 21 years, I can tell you there is a lot new nurses don't know. They also have a lot to teach some of us more experienced nurses, if we are willing to listen. Nursing has changed a lot since I graduated 20+ years ago. My experience is very valuable, but I admire how tech savvy and how much more of a grasp of physiology some of the newer nurses have than I did. I try to share my experience and pick up things from them at the same time. I hate to see when we look down our noses at other nurses. Putting someone else down does nothing to elevate who you are. I am glad this person apologized to you. I had a similar experience about 5 years ago. I do not think my psycho labour pt's mom was even really a nurse though. I feel for you. Good luck!!!
well, i think you're being a tad bit judgemental on "older nurses". i think you have to remember that nurses, dr's etc are people too. when we are pt's or family members of pt's we have the same stresses as those we care for. that's why when you do pt teaching to other nurses etc... you always teach them like you would the average person off the street. because of stress etc.... things that make sence to them when they are in the nursing role may not make sence when they are caring for their loved one. the same when they lash out. it may have been congering up memories of her husband. when people die in icu or er, many times they family are mad at the staff. when really, they are upset at the situation. this "mom", just knew what buttons to push to get to you. looks like it worked. hang in there try to remember that even though she's a nurse , at that time she was a person that needs limits set, empathy and cared for. if you're a new nurse, it's going to continure to happen, might as well find a way to deal with it. bringing issues up here is a good start. talking to others that have delt with it is good. welcome the the nursing profession. forget the "research", research is only as good as the one that collects the data. you'll find that nursing isn't so much about what data says but how to take such moments and survive them.
Specializes in rehab, antepartum, med-surg, cardiac.
Diary Girl,
I have been called names and told that I was incompetent by a patient and I have been a nurse for almost 23 years. It happens to a lot of us, regardless of the length of time we have been in the profession.
I was reading your post and the responses. If you look at this lady's underlying statements to you, you realize that she has suffered a lot of losses recently, including her spouse. This may be her only son. Her perception, while probably not accurate, is just that---it is how she saw the situation. It wasn't accurate, according to your posts. But to the person complaining, their perception is their reality. How do you change that? You probably can't. The best thing to do is not to get defensive with the person who is going off at you. It only increases their anger and frustration and makes them more likely to complain. If you sit down and listen to the person who is complaining, they will 9 times out of 10 calm down. Their perception of you and situation may change as well. They perceive that you care enough to listen.
This is how I choose to defuse negative situations. It doesn't work 100% of the time, but most of the time I have seen it calm situations down. It isn't "evidence-based" scientifically speaking.
The patient that called me a name didn't change his perception. I asked a colleague to switch my assignment the next day, which he did. I can laugh at the situation now.
I'm glad that she came to you and apologized. That was the right thing for her to do. You did a good job handling the situation.:bowingpur
Just my two cents, depending on his level of functioning, is he able to ask for pain meds? Also, they teach us in school that it is best to take pain meds before the pain gets severe...to "stay on top of it" if you will. Do you have rationale for it being best not to take it if you're not in severe pain?
Do you have rationale for it being best not to take it if you're not in severe pain?
I agree it's best to stay on top of the pain, like we're taught in school. But I think there are also legitimate reasons or special circumstances that would warrant not jumping for the pain meds right away, like the toll most pain meds take on liver & kidneys, possible respiratory depression, etc. As someone who, uh, struggles with GI issues of her own, I'd personally be worried about getting all "backed up," if ya know what I mean:lol2:
bethin
1,927 Posts
Sorry you have to deal with this DG. If nurses eating their young exists, this might be a good example.
Also, if she's a nurse how many pt's has she killed? I'd ask her.
I have never heard of this statistic. And if I calculate this right, you've been a nurse for ~5 years. You're not new. You travel so obviously people trust you if you can be thrown into an environment with very little orientation and succeed.