"Negative" work behavior write up

bossman · May 25, 2016

So first you had a meeting that you were unprofessional and rude. Then after the meeting you got multiple complaints that you are rude and unprofessional. Really the first complaint may be an outlier but the second shows a pattern. Here are the two options. Either you are in a toxic environment (really unlikely) or you really are rude and unprofessional.

You obviously show a pattern of being negative. You had a trainee leave because of your negativity and then later were called in and then had "multiple" complaints. We all can have a complaint now and then but again you were called in to the office and then still had complaints against you after that! I give people the benefit of the doubt but it seems like you are toxic. What can you do to protect yourself? I guess sue but really anyone can sue now a days. I really suggest moving on and changing your attitude. You have burned the previous bridges to the ground and if you continue to do that you will burn bridge after bridge.

Anonymous865 · May 26, 2016

You can still turn this around, but it is going to require an extreme makeover.

You are now viewed as negative, so to change that opinion you have to be more positive, more cheerful, more helpful than anyone else. You have to be a ray of sunshine all the time.

Never vent to anyone you work with. If you need to vent call EAP, talk to a counselor/minister/priest, post on AN. Tell everyone else how much you love your job.

Smile ALL the time.

No matter what your manager/another employee requests, answer "I'd be happy to."

No matter how frustrated or stressed you are, do not let it show.

Never ask not to have a certain unit or patient. You are "happy to do anything the organization needs."

Smile at the patients. Talk kindly to them. Have time for them. Talk kindly about the patients to other nurses.

I know this sounds extreme, but once you have a reputation, it takes extreme changes to turn that around.

The facility exists to provide care to patients. If they think you might cause them to lose business, they are going to lose you instead.

Organizations don't want negative employees, because negativity is contagious. A single negative employee can make all the employees unhappy.

Even with all these changes, you probably should start job hunting. You can turn this around, but even 1 more complaint about you might be the last straw.

Kooky Korky, BSN, RN · May 26, 2016

Do a self-assessment. Ask yourself what the pros and cons are of trying to change yourself and keep your job. What are the pros and cons of this job?

Do you have any idea how to be more positive? Do you have some strength-giving sources? God? Other spirituality? Diversions? Recreation? (re-creating yourself) Relaxation? Breathing techniques? Positive affirmations? Exercise? Hobbies? Interests - gardening can be refreshing and gets you in touch with nature; Feed and watch the birds. Keep a journal, write a book, do not violate HIPAA or make your employer identifiable. Group therapy. 12 Step meetings, even if you aren't a drinker or drug user or overeater or relative or friend of any of these. (for whom the groups are formed)

If the job is just too stressful, look elsewhere.

If you were so negative that you drove off a new employee, think how that looks to your boss. How would you think of an employee of yours who did that?

Do you enjoy being around negative people?

I remember a particular coworker who was justifiably negative, but it got so old hearing her c/o all the time. ALL the time. Never anything + to say. And it's been 30 years since we worked together. And that's how I remember her. And I liked her and empathized with her, just was so dragged down by her incessant c/o about the job.

Count your blessings TID for 30 seconds. No fire, no flood, no famine, no war in our country, you have an income and benefits, you are physically able to work and there's 30 seconds right there and you are just getting started. You can see, hear, walk, use all of your organs and parts, you have someone who loves you and whom you love, you are in a line of work that offers numerous opportunites and lots of variety.

Become a nurse on a cruise ship and see the world. Join the military and earn great benefits and see the world. Become a CRNA - the military seems to produce a lot of them. Fabulous pay as a CRNA.

Be creative and don't beat yourself up - that does no good. But don't speak negativity. You can learn a new way of living.

You might try taking in some donuts or bagels or a veggie tray and announcing to your boss that you realize you really have been negative and that you are grateful for having this pointed out because you really do like your work and that, as of today, you are turning over a new leaf and this food is just a little something to mark the occasion. People are often very glad when someone who has been counseled comes around, sees the light, admits to realizing that he or she has been doing not so well, and wants to correct the situation. Tell her you are sorry for adding to HER stress and that you realize how hard SHE works - and she really does. Being a boss can be a highly stressful situation, even if you don't see her doing bedside care.

I truly wish you well.

LadyFree28, BSN, LPN, RN · May 26, 2016

Hi! I was written up recently at work for workplace negativity and unprofessional. I've been an RN at my job for almost 2 years and in that time I've actually become one of the more senior nurses on my shift because there is so much staff turnover. I really don't feel I'm negative at all, I vent of course like most nurses do and maybe people misinterpret that.

Do you vent "like most nurses do?"

You may believe this, however, your actions are presenting a very different story, OP.

On 9/7/15 the DON met with Gale to address complaints that she was extremely negative and unprofessional on the unit. Despite this meeting there continue to be complaints that Gale is "Rude, unprofessional and has an "overall bad attitude." Reports include concerns that Gale "lacks compassion" towards her patients. These complains have been reported by multiple peers. Gale must demonstrate immediate and sustained improvement. All interactions must be professional and the negativity must stop. Failure to make these improvements will result in termination. This is a last and final warning.

It seems as though in the past, you have been reprimanded for the same issue, and now it has been escalated to a final warning; you even admit to being "talked to":

****I was talked to a few months back for being negative **** while training someone who ended up quitting before they even completed their training. They were essentially blaming me for someone quitting when I'm pretty sure he made that decision all by himself. On the day I trained him I was pretty negative for multiple reasons. My assignment was unclear until about 30 minutes into my shift and I had to call my supervisor and DON to sort it out. I had over 20 patients with no secondary support nurse, and I had to train this new nurse. To top it off, a few days ago I had requested to not be put on the unit I was on that day anymore because I did not like that unit, it was too stressful for me and the DON at the beginning of that day's shift told me she couldn't promise me anything. I guess I was too overwhelmed that day to even remember to ask for help, but both the supervisor and DON were probably pretty aware of how crappy my day had started and they didn't offer any help either.
As for the real reason I feel I got the write up the head case manager at my job wrote my DON a letter instead of going through the chain of command and talking to me or even my immediate supervisor. The head CM was working later one day and I had just gotten some phone orders from a doctor. My new patient rolled in and the CM introduced herself to the patient and let me know the patient was there. I acknowledged what the CM said, but continued to write the doctor's order because I didn't want to screw up the order. I'll admit I wasn't all warm and bubbly with the patient, but part of that was my irritation with the CM and the fact that she went to me instead of any of the other nursing staff to welcome this no patient to the unit. I should have been nicer to the patient, but I don't feel my behavior warranted an e-mail to the DON.
The DON said that multiple people say I'm rude and negative and aside from the two above example I really feel like people are either being oversensitive or the DON is making stuff up because she wouldn't give any details on what exactly I'm doing wrong, just that I'm "negative." I have no idea what to do at this point other than keep my head down and carry on.

You admit to being negative towards others; this is affecting your performance up to the point if there is another incident, you will be out of a job; despite your challenges, whether it's being overwhelmed or upset at someone; being a professional is meaning to handle such challenges with tact; enter it is discussing staffing with the DON and giving ideas to the DON, or speaking privately and assertively with the CM about issues-not being angry and blowing off a pt.

I don't think people are being insensitive nor think that your DON is making stuff up; you have established a pattern by your own admission that you tend to be negative and offer excuses in your post, and by your post, your tone seems so cavalier about not addressing your pt because you are "mad" at the CM.

Face it-you have made a reputation; and not the best kind. :no:

I was shocked when I got this. The following paragraphs have more details for context, but I honestly just feel like I'm being picked on. Does anyone have any advice on how to deal with this or what to do to protect myself?

Why are you shocked? You have been talked to before about the situation; the previous discussion about your perceived negativity needed to be a chance for you to either perform an attitude adjustment, or find another facility or specialty that will result in greater career satisfaction; at this point, those are your options, along with a PP's suggestion to seek out EAP and talk to someone that is free and clear from judgement and can help you work on those favored where you need to hash out your challenges that you have with your facility.

Best wishes.

Been there,done that, ASN, RN · May 26, 2016

Rude and negative are subjective descriptions. You are miserable with your job.. and it is showing.

There is SO much more you can do than "keep my head down and carry on."

This ridiculous write up should provide you with the energy to move on. Please.. think about what you really want to do... and go for it.

Horseshoe, BSN, RN · May 31, 2016

The DON said that multiple people say I'm rude and negative and aside from the two above example I really feel like people are either being oversensitive or the DON is making stuff up because she wouldn't give any details on what exactly I'm doing wrong, just that I'm "negative." I have no idea what to do at this point other than keep my head down and carry on.

What you need to do is get honest with yourself, not convince yourself that everyone else is the problem. You have gotten multiple complaints for a reason. You cannot change what you don't acknowledge. So says Dr. Phil.

whichone'spink, BSN, RN · Jun 1, 2016

I think you have let this toxic workplace get to you and perhaps change you and your attitude. It's an awful feedback loop, and you're going to get fired sooner or later. Find another job, leave this one behind and take the lessons learnt to another place.

allnurses Guide · Jun 1, 2016

Whenever I have been given negative feedback - either verbally or in writing -I have to take a moment to get over the initial defensiveness and seriously look at what part if any I own. There was a time a few years ago when I was going through a lot, my father passed away suddenly, my husband and I were on the verge of divorce, etc......and I was letting "My" life issues bleed into my work. To say I was being negative would have been and understatement Still I took the information to heart and realized that while all these things were stressful to me they were not my employer's problems. I set about "Fixing my attitude". Regardless of what you have going on or what you are feeling there is never and excuse for unprofessional behavior. You must always leave your attitude at the door when you step into the work place. I guarantee that no matter how bad a day you are having your patient is probably having a worse one. I have also been on the receiving end of being the orientee to a "Negative Preceptor". No new employee wants to hear that the place they just got hired to work for is a miserable place to work.

Contrary to what you may think most nurses are not negative about their work or prone to venting on the unit. In fact in the 16 years I've been in the field I find it actually quite rare. Most of the time co-workers and employers will give you a little latitude for a "Bad day" - but when every day becomes a bad day they have to step in and do something. Like it or not hospital reimbursements are driven by customer satisfaction so as hard as it is sometimes we have to go the extra mile to make sure that even a troublesome patient is satisfied.

You can turn this around by suiting up and showing up everyday you are scheduled with a smile on your face and a go get 'em attitude. Be polite humble and kind not just to your patients but to your co-workers as well. You may be pleasantly surprised when you see the response you get.

Hope this helps

Hppy

psu_213, BSN, RN · Jun 1, 2016

When I was a CNA, I was training a CNA who was new to our facility. For some reason, at the beginning of the shift, she felt the need to tell me, "I never complain. I just complain about the complainers." She then spent the rest of the shift complaining to me about the charting, her schedule, the 'lead' CNA, the parking situation at work, the parking situation at her apartment, the size of the break room refrigerator, etc, etc. Either (a) she flat out lied to me about not being a complainer or (b) she never realized just how much complaining she was doing; I suspect it was the latter. Point is--and I've encountered this with other coworkers--people are generally not aware of how negative they can be (unaware of a poor attitude, unaware of the amount of complaining, etc.). Perhaps, OP, that is what is happening here. It seems you are aware of times that you may be negative. However, it seem your negativity is really rubbing people the wrong way, and, perhaps, you are being more negative more often that you realize. I am not there, obviously, so this is just a theory. It does seem like some introspection is in order.

What else to do about it? You state that you have gone to the DON and she will not give you specifics. Perhaps this has a bit to do with attitude also. If you go to her with attitude and put her on the spot about it, she maybe be defensive and less likely to open up about it. If you go and (likely wrongfully) accuse her of making stuff up, she is not going to be in a position to be open with you about what is going on. Instead, schedule a meeting with her. Prepare your words carefully. Try saying, "I realize that I may have some attitude issues at times. I've though about it, and I want to improve the situation. As part of that, could you tell me specifically what you have heard about me from others. It would really help me be a better coworker and a better nurse if I could address the specifics of ways in which I have been negative." That way, she sees that you are trying to better yourself, and you will be able to improve your relationship with her.

jadelpn, LPN, EMT-B · Jun 2, 2016

Not all nurses negatively vent, OP. It is sometimes hard not to get caught up in it once it starts, but you can be the one who walks away or bites your tongue. By venting and being negative, it does nothing to change the situation at hand, just puts a damper on things.

That you were "mad" at the case manager should not even be an issue. You can be as mad as you would like to be, but it need not show in how you do your job, and most especially in front of a patient.

Not sure what kind of a unit has one nurse and orientee to 20 patients--acute care? What kind of acuity? Was the orientee a brand new nurse or more seasoned? In the spirit of teamwork, you could go down the line and do one patient at a time. If we are talking high acuity, then would be the time to state without putting drama and emotion in it that in fact the assignment was unsafe.

That you don't like a unit, asked and were told there were no promises you would not be put on the unit, is unacceptable in most workplaces. Providing that you are competent and qualified to work on said unit.

So if you would like to keep your job, or any job for that matter, you need to be sure that you are doing what is right for your patients. No personal hatefulness, being mad, venting about how poopy the unit is, and otherwise draining any positive energy that needs to be present to work as a team.

In other words, if a person you cared about was coding, needing a rapid response, or otherwise scared and ill, wouldn't you want the most for your loved one? Not someone who is in the hall complaining about how awful the unit is, declining to go to another unit because they don't like it or declining to work with certain people because they are mad at them?

Now that you have behavioral expectations, make sure they are clear. That you have a mentor who can help direct you accordingly. That you are spoken to privately if you are engaging in behavior that is inappropriate BEFORE it gets out of hand. That you meet with your manager weekly to discuss progress.

Seems to me that this is your wake up call. Know better so that you can do better.

Ruby Vee, BSN · Jun 3, 2016

Hi! I was written up recently at work for workplace negativity and unprofessional. I've been an RN at my job for almost 2 years and in that time I've actually become one of the more senior nurses on my shift because there is so much staff turnover. I really don't feel I'm negative at all, I vent of course like most nurses do and maybe people misinterpret that. Here's my write up but for my privacy I'm calling myself Gale and I've changed the date.
On 9/7/15 the DON met with Gale to address complaints that she was extremely negative and unprofessional on the unit. Despite this meeting there continue to be complaints that Gale is "Rude, unprofessional and has an "overall bad attitude." Reports include concerns that Gale "lacks compassion" towards her patients. These complains have been reported by multiple peers. Gale must demonstrate immediate and sustained improvement. All interactions must be professional and the negativity must stop. Failure to make these improvements will result in termination. This is a last and final warning.
I was shocked when I got this. The following paragraphs have more details for context, but I honestly just feel like I'm being picked on. Does anyone have any advice on how to deal with this or what to do to protect myself?
I was talked to a few months back for being negative while training someone who ended up quitting before they even completed their training. They were essentially blaming me for someone quitting when I'm pretty sure he made that decision all by himself. On the day I trained him I was pretty negative for multiple reasons. My assignment was unclear until about 30 minutes into my shift and I had to call my supervisor and DON to sort it out. I had over 20 patients with no secondary support nurse, and I had to train this new nurse. To top it off, a few days ago I had requested to not be put on the unit I was on that day anymore because I did not like that unit, it was too stressful for me and the DON at the beginning of that day's shift told me she couldn't promise me anything. I guess I was too overwhelmed that day to even remember to ask for help, but both the supervisor and DON were probably pretty aware of how crappy my day had started and they didn't offer any help either.
As for the real reason I feel I got the write up the head case manager at my job wrote my DON a letter instead of going through the chain of command and talking to me or even my immediate supervisor. The head CM was working later one day and I had just gotten some phone orders from a doctor. My new patient rolled in and the CM introduced herself to the patient and let me know the patient was there. I acknowledged what the CM said, but continued to write the doctor's order because I didn't want to screw up the order. I'll admit I wasn't all warm and bubbly with the patient, but part of that was my irritation with the CM and the fact that she went to me instead of any of the other nursing staff to welcome this no patient to the unit. I should have been nicer to the patient, but I don't feel my behavior warranted an e-mail to the DON.
The DON said that multiple people say I'm rude and negative and aside from the two above example I really feel like people are either being oversensitive or the DON is making stuff up because she wouldn't give any details on what exactly I'm doing wrong, just that I'm "negative." I have no idea what to do at this point other than keep my head down and carry on.

What you do right now is take some time out for introspection. YOU don't feel as though you're negative, but evidently your boss does and your colleagues concur. You can decide whether you want to leave this job and start fresh somewhere else or try to rehabilitate your reputation where you are. Both are very difficult undertakings . . . and both require you do the self examination and figure out why everyone thinks you're so negative.

You're in an unenviable position with your job, and you've got an uphill road ahead of you to fix things. But you've been given some warning, and you've had time to reflect on the feedback you've been given. Might I suggest some counseling to help you sort things through? It can be enormously helpful.