"I am a nurse!"

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Ever have a patient or family member who, the first thing out of their mouth is "I am a nurse!". Then they proceed to brag about their illustrious career, showing off their knowledge, grandstanding and expecting the red carpet treatment. They fiddle around with monitors, turn off pumps and saline lock IVs, crossing boundaries right and left.

Then they announce that they love it here and plan on applying! You go to the BON site, verify their status, then email your supervisor ASAP!

Specializes in Case manager, float pool, and more.
OK how about this...I attend a basketball game, or other sporting event, watching one of my kids. A lot of people know me and know I'm a school nurse...some kid takes a tumble and doesn't immediately jump up...I look around and a hundred heads on our side of the bleachers will turn and give me THE LOOK; "well are you going to do something?" Ugh...

I would jump up with no problem and assist. A medical emergency is different than when family bombards you with nursing questions.

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It's been my experience that visitors who straight off the bat identify themselves as nurses generally aren't. We had one real troublemaker who claimed to be a nurse and interfered with everything we tried to do with her aunt. She plagued us. It came to a head one day over something she thought was a arrhythmia on the monitor. I'm a nurse myself. You need to call the doctor NOW. Asked which ICU she worked in. The patient herself said, "I've had enough of this! My niece is not a nurse. She flunked out of nursing school!" The patient put her out of the room!

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Specializes in Private Duty Pediatrics.
I really am a nurse (RN w/ active license) but when I am with my family, I am family.

I can't use " I am a _____ nurse" since I work float pool and am cross-trained for a variety of areas.

My point was when I am not at work and with family, I just want to be a part of the family.[/QUOTE]

Yes. Especially when the patient is someone whom I love deeply (my Mom), don't expect me to think clearly during her crisis. I'm her daughter! Let me be her daughter.

Wow, tears in my eyes as I write this.

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YEP its that kind of nonsense that gets "nurses" sent to the waiting room

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Specializes in Critical care.
My parents do the exact same thing. Even at the doctor's office. I try very hard to fly under the radar but it's hard to suppress the lingo I've been using for over 30 years so I usually get made. I make darn sure that I'm not "that" family member though.

I never thought I'd be "that" family member either until I had a relative in the hospital having issues 10+ hours away. This family member had had surgery at the hospital 2 months before and had no issues. I got general updates from my family and let everything be. With the second surgery and hospitalization multiple people (nursing and providers) dropped the ball and complications developed. I spent over an hour on the phone with the spouse who was so upset and knew something was wrong, but didn't know what and was just ignored. I told them what to do and what requests/demands to make and to whom to make them to. It definitely put the facility on alert and they questioned the family member who eventually told them another family member is a critical care nurse. The hospital actually opened up an internal investigation because of some of the things that happened. I found somebody to swap shifts with in case things didn't turn around and I wanted to fly out last minute to actually be at the hospital. I think I was very rational with the whole situation- I never called the hospital or asked to be added to the updates list. I just empowered my family member and was prepared to make a personal appearance if things didn't turn around.

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Specializes in OB.

I've definitely never experienced what the OP has, in terms of family fiddling with IVs or intervening in that sense. My worst experience with a nurse family member was when I worked med/surg, and got in report that one of my patients had two daughters, one of whom was a nurse and both of whom were being incredibly abusive and hostile towards the staff. I cringed and prepared myself, only to enter the room and find the nurse daughter was...my former professor! It was SO awkward. She was nice to me that shift because she knew me, but it became clear that she, her sister, and her mom (the patient) had a very toxic dynamic between them, and the daughters were taking out their guilt about their relationship with their mom on us. Screaming at us in person or over the phone when the plan of care didn't fit their expectations, literally down to her mom getting a Therevac enema instead of a Fleets, demanding surgical procedures she didn't need, it was ridiculous. I've never been so disgusted by the behavior of a fellow nurse, particularly one whom, prior to that, I had really liked and who was a great teacher. It just goes to show how much familial relationships can make people regress to childhood and bring out sometimes the worst in people.

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I never thought I'd be "that" family member either until I had a relative in the hospital having issues 10+ hours away. This family member had had surgery at the hospital 2 months before and had no issues. I got general updates from my family and let everything be. With the second surgery and hospitalization multiple people (nursing and providers) dropped the ball and complications developed. I spent over an hour on the phone with the spouse who was so upset and knew something was wrong but didn't know what and was just ignored. I told them what to do and what requests/demands to make and to whom to make them to. It definitely put the facility on alert and they questioned the family member who eventually told them another family member is a critical care nurse. The hospital actually opened up an internal investigation because of some of the things that happened. I found somebody to swap shifts with in case things didn't turn around and I wanted to fly out last minute to actually be at the hospital. I think I was very rational with the whole situation- I never called the hospital or asked to be added to the updates list. I just empowered my family member and was prepared to make a personal appearance if things didn't turn around.[/quote']

Don't get me wrong. I have been through so much medical crap with my parents since 2014 and another friend with multiple surgeries that I have started to feel like regular staff at the hospitals they go to. There's a big difference between being "that" family member and and being an advocate. Sometimes I have to step in, but I pick my battles wisely and it seems to be working. When I call one of their doctors I get one of their doctors because I rarely call so they know when I do there's something serious to attend to. I avoid interfering if I can. I don't critique the nursing care unless something really stands out. I make suggestions rarely and only when I know it will positively affect the outcome for everyone. So far I haven't butted heads with anyone but I'll stand my ground if needed.

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Specializes in ICU.

I didn't read this whole thread, but if a visitor touched equipment, turned on/off my pumps, etc you had better believe that I would give them one firm warning that it was inappropriate and that if they did it again they would be asked to leave. They should know better, especially if they are a nurse. If they did it again my first call would be to security to have them removed from the bedside, no questions asked.

I'm all for advocating for friends/family members and for using my knowledge of healthcare to help them navigate the system. But there is a clear line between helping and interfering, and what the OP described with a nurse/visitor touching things at the bedside, that is interfering.

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I was the unlucky family member who was put in the position of assisting with care because when my dad got sick the hospitals he went to were EDs that i knew majority of the nurses in from doing EMS. A whole bunch knew I was also a nurse so they asked me to help with his care, which I didnt mind but my dad always says "my daughter is an ED nurse" and it makes me uncomfortable. When i have family that say "im in the medical field" "im a nurse too" I ask them about their area and gauge their level of understanding. I've found that its all about finding common ground. You may need that family member on your side to reassure family or the patient. I try to see them as an asset and not a pain in my butt and for the most part it works. :)

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...I have noticed it the other way actually.

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Specializes in PACU, Stepdown, Trauma.

My dad was hospitalized recently and I wasn't going to mention anything, but I went in to visit him after my shift was over wearing bright blue scrub bottoms, and then the nurse who came in knew me anyway... busted!

Not to mention, my dad tells everyone he knows that his daughter is a nurse. Makes it hard to remain incognito and since I did my nursing school clinicals and worked at the same hospital where he stayed, chances are I'd run into somebody who knew me.

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Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.

Oftentimes they're not really nurses at all. They're a CNA or an MA or the housekeeper that works in the pharmacy. Or they work in a hospital and they KNOW they could be a nurse because nursing is an easy job and they can do everything that nurse does. Then you're faced with having to explain things to someone who swears they know everything about nursing but doesn't even have the vocabulary to understand the diagnosis!

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