a "friend" looked me up on the BON?????

Nurses LPN/LVN

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So, I haven't been active on this board in a few years, as I've had two children in the last 4 years, letting my LVN license lapse (intending to renew soon). BUT, I have been involved in a mommy/playdate meetup group for the last 10 months. I'm actually a co-organizer (appointed by the organizer). So the other day, after a playdate that ended at 11:45am, I get a random text from the fellow mom/organizer, basically saying she was "concerned" about me saying I got my BSN, because she LOOKED ME UP ON THE BOARD OF REGISTERED NURSING AND COULDN'T FIND ME! ok, so first, who's "friend" looks them up and is concerned about it in the first place? Must note, we've never hung out outside of the meetup group play date events and have not hung out as friends. When we DO meetup for the play dates, I'm there with my children for 2 hours max. I do not watch her kids by myself, I am not being hired by her for any reason whatsoever, so why the concern?

When i said I dont remember saying I ever had my BSN, she proceeded to COPY AND PASTE A TEXT MESSAGE i had texted her during a previous conversation in reply to her getting her masters degree in psych online. I had said "I almost went through an online program for my BSN." Which to me, meant I had looked into getting my BSN. I did not feel the need to even say I never went through with it because I was only relating to her saying she was going through an online program. So odd. She had looked me up on the BON as her mother is a nurse and referred her there, and couldn't find me.

So she had wanted me to "clear things up for her" because of her concern. I kept it short, feeling quite violated (I think also, because she's kinda crossed the boundaries w/ other members of the group). I said I never went through the program and I have my LVN, which is a vocational nurse but have let it lapse since having my second child. She proceeded to tell me I should renew it but empathizes w/ me wanting to be a full time stay at home mom (?????)

I simply replied "yes, that's something my husband and I have discussed." That was it. I was shaking. I mean, she told me she's very forward, so that's how she addresses things, but I mean, why did she feel the need to do it via text and why then? Couldn't she have waited until a future playdate and casually asked me about where I got my BSN from?

She texted me like 3-4 other paragraphs about what she was doing as far as school and how she was going to get her masters in psych (even though she knew the content well), so people would TRUST her. I'm like oooook.

So from a "psych" perspective, texting someone about something of this nature, probably isn't the best way to approach it, as the person on the receiving cannot see your body language or hear the tone in your voice (or lack of voice b/c it's a text). Sheesh.

Sorry so long. I have NOTHING to hide. I think she was thrown off b/c i also have a BA in art, so she said i was saying that, then the nursing thins. She was probably genuinely confused, but bring it up in face to face conversation, instead of being accusatory. i'm sorry, it was really odd and felt totally out of place and really just put me off to wanting to continue being active in the group.

Another mom I had been friends w/ left the group b/c this person had been texting her nonstop about an issue. and then when she asked if i wanted to be co-organizer, I politely refused but then a few weeks later, she automatically updated the info on the group by putting me as co-organizer and i went with it.

Ok, rant over. Would like some input if you've stuck with me this far ;) I initially had a weird feeling about her and then this. I'm a person who minds her own business and doesn't like to rock the boat, so getting something like this via text was a little unnerving.

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I would personally avoid a boundary stomper like that at all costs. I would also never stick around in a moms group where I am disrespected like that. Keep the friends, lose the passive aggressive boundary stompers.

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Run lol

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Specializes in Complex pedi to LTC/SA & now a manager.

Time to disengage from this attention seeking individual

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How about asking her what made her feel a need to look up your license? If you don't want to be very direct about it you could say something like "So, what was the job you wanted to recommend me for?" and when she asks what you're talking about, then say that you assumed that was the reason she decided to check on your license.

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Wow, yes . . . run. She should be required to have some psych assessment during her program.

Some programs do have that as part of the deal . . . social workers, psychologists, etc. I think it is a good thing so you can recognize your own . . . . .tendencies.

And maybe work on them?

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Uh.. I would run... not walk away. She clearly has boundary issues and is mentally unstable. She most likely is bored with her own life so she tries to create chaos to add some "fun" to her day..

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run far and fast

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Specializes in Emergency, Telemetry, Transplant.

If she brings it up again, "Sally (Alice, whatever :)), we are not going to talk about this anymore." If she brings it up again, time to find a new playgroup. :sorry:

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Thanks for all your support/input :) I plan on sticking with communicating only through the meetup forum with her from this point on, will issue an email to group members stating I'm stepping down as co-organizer & will be focusing our energies on other extra curricular activities that will conflict with our availability to participate in the group. If she tries to text me or say anything about it, I will let her know I'm not willing to text about it & am unwilling to talk about it on the phone but wish her the best.

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Specializes in MDS/ UR.

Technically, anyone can look you stuff up on line.

Why the need to perplexes me.

The need to discuss it with you in the context you describe is weird.

Nutter alarm going off wildly.

I would disengage and move on as you state you are.

Good luck.

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WACK-job!! Do not engage this person further, as pp have suggested.

Too much time on her hands, with getting her psych degree and all....

Don't know what the heck ails people.

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