I would love to hear from some more experienced ppl some ways to deal with these types of personal questions. In my region, there are many devout evangelical Christian people who I think are genuinely concerned about the state of my soul. When folks like this are in the hospital, they're also feeling vulnerable, and they probably want to discuss their faith with someone who can help them feel more grounded. I am not necessarily that person.
I get the questions, "Are you saved?" "What church do you go to?" "Have you accepted Jesus as your lord and savior?" etc. frequently in the hospital where I work. 1. I don't believe my personal religious stuff is my patients' business. 2. I do not want to be dishonest about my personal religious/lack of religious stuff.
So far, the best I've come up with is, "It sounds like Christ is important in your life. Tell me more about that."
I politely defer that conversation by saying that I prefer to keep my religious belief and affiliations private, out of the work setting.
Funny thing though: I work in a Catholic hospital. Every morning at 8 am there is a daily prayer. We are all expected to stop and "pay our morning devotion" no matter what our belief. I think it is only respectful...but it doesn't mean I share in the same belief.
If the person persists, then I firmly insist that I understand that their religion is important and I will respect it, I will not discuss my beliefs.
Or a cop out is to say I'm Jewish if they see my "mother-designed" Star at my neck. That doesn't explain my religion, but it keeps 'em quiet.
A more general question is - how do we deal with questions that patients ask us that are personal in nature and we don't really want to share it? How do we answer in such a way as to respect the dignity of our patient and at the same time does not violate our own personal boundary? How do we respond in such a way that is thereuputic(sp?) for the patient?
For example, "Are you a Republican?" and you are a Democrate in a Republican state. "Are you married?" "How old are you?" (especially for young looking nurses) ...
This is slightly off topic. Stevierae, your post reminded me that in the PACU at our hospital, above the nurses' desk, is a picture of His Holiness the Dalai Lama and a line of prayer flags. Appropriate for people who are "waking up!" I take refuge in the Versed....
Pretty cool! Sounds like a very enlightened PACU, and a great place to work!
A more general question is - how do we deal with questions that patients ask us that are personal in nature and we don't really want to share it? How do we answer in such a way as to respect the dignity of our patient and at the same time does not violate our own personal boundary? How do we respond in such a way that is thereuputic(sp?) for the patient?
For example, "Are you a Republican?" and you are a Democrate in a Republican state. "Are you married?" "How old are you?" (especially for young looking nurses) ...
I am saved, and don't mind telling anyone who should ask that particular question, but I do know that some people can get really personal, and esp. in a work setting where you're trying to do your job.
I personally don't appreciate people who don't me from Eve, asking me really personal questions that I don't want to discuss.
Marital status, age, # of children, things like that is too much information for complete strangers to be asking.
I mean, that person might be a serial killer/rapist/stalker that might show up on your doorstep. Who knows why they want that information?
Even though I don't follow or agree with their beliefs, the LDS men have always been very sweet and nice when they have came to my door.
I know; the LDS missionaries are always very, very sweet; very polite young men. I hate to turn them away--even when I explain that I am Catholic, they always give me a Book of Mormon (I have several, now; don't want to hurt their feelings) and encourage me to come to upcoming ice cream socials and such. Of course, I never do.
The Witnesses, though---here, they usually bring an adorable child with them; usually a girl, dressed in a frilly Sunday dress (like children wear at Easter.) You feel bad being rude to them because of the presence of the child. However, they just won't take no for an answer. If you refuse "The Watchtower" ("I try to cut down on the amount of paper that I have to put out for recycling" is my excuse) you find the material stuck in your door or on your car windshield anyway after you go outside several hours later.
Most of my patients have to think about it, pause, look at their relative and just say C of E to cover themselves :chuckle
I'm not being rude but just a geniune query but what areas in the US should an agnostic avoid if they don't want their kids to be brought up in an overly religious environment?
The Witnesses, though---here, they usually bring an adorable child with them; usually a girl, dressed in a frilly Sunday dress (like children wear at Easter.) You feel bad being rude to them because of the presence of the child. However, they just won't take no for an answer. If you refuse "The Watchtower" ("I try to cut down on the amount of paper that I have to put out for recycling" is my excuse) you find the material stuck in your door or on your car windshield anyway after you go outside several hours later.
Maybe they should just use the government to impose their religious beliefs on you like mainstream Christians.
I never have a problem with Witnesses or LDS missionaries.
Rebecca, I think those folks asking you if you are saved truly care about the state of your soul, you should not be offended or embarassed. It doesn't matter what you believe or I believe it only matter what God says and he says in John 3:7, "marvel not that I say unto thee, YE MUST BE BORN AGAIN!" so Rebecca, next time someone ask you if you are saved, "tell the truth and shame the devil" and just say "no." Because if you were, you would want to shout it to the world and ask others, "are you saved"?:). Until someone disproves the Bible as God's words, then I'll continue to believe it "cover to cover" including the cover. God Bless, Sherry
This is one example of the line I learned in Nursing School: "For what reason do you wish this information?"
I like your response, really we are there as professionals to take care of their medical/surgical needs. Spiritual to an extent, but there is no need for patients to know our personal information such as religion, marital status, gender preference etc.
The question should be referred back to them in terms of what it is they need/want keeping our own personal beliefs/values out of the exchange.
it all boils down to freedom of speech. they have the right to ask you the questions about salvation, but you also have the right to not discuss it.
personally, i am offended by the millions of children murdered each year in their mother's wombs. i am offended that our nation allowed a handicapped woman to starve for almost 2 weeks before she died, yet we euthanize animals with more humanity. i am offended that there is soooo much sexuality on the tv, radio, newspaper, magazines, everyhwere. i am offended at the horrible language in all the media, the violence. i am offended by the homosexual lifestyle choice. however, i have the right to choose to not participate in the things that offend me (see above list), just as you do (conversations about salvation).
i agree that your job as a nurse is first and foremost to care for the patient's medical condition(s). i think you should explain to the patient that this is your focus and that you would be happy to ask someone with more training in spiritual matters to speak to them about their spiritual condition. i don't think that a rude, smart alec answer ("let's save your poop") will do anything to benefit you or the patient.
"a kind answer turns away wrath"
also, i don't think patients understand all the red tape you have to deal with in terms of hospital policies. if you explain that you could be reprimanded for such a discussion, then i think they would back off (and you could be in trouble if you 'offend' them and they write an ugly letter complaining to administration)
if your atheistic/agnostic beliefs are so strong and that patient is so offensive, then couldn't you ask your charge nurse to reassign you because you felt that your religious beliefs were being violated?
i am sure that some might be offended by reading my post (as i was offended by reading their posts), but it all boils down to freedom of speech. i am not attacking anyone, just stating what i believe.
lifelongstudent,
--:bowingpur thanks be to god that i live in a red state (and a red country)!
p.s. for the patient who wanted "two or more gathered"... i think this passage refers to two or more believers (christians), so an agnostic nurse and a christian patient would not be adequate.... maybe i am mistaken.
also, i don't think patients understand all the red tape you have to deal with in terms of hospital policies. if you explain that you could be reprimanded for such a discussion, then i think they would back off (and you could be in trouble if you 'offend' them and they write an ugly letter complaining to administration)
if your atheistic/agnostic beliefs are so strong and that patient is so offensive, then couldn't you ask your charge nurse to reassign you because you felt that your religious beliefs were being violated?
CA CoCoRN, RN
173 Posts
I politely defer that conversation by saying that I prefer to keep my religious belief and affiliations private, out of the work setting.
Funny thing though: I work in a Catholic hospital. Every morning at 8 am there is a daily prayer. We are all expected to stop and "pay our morning devotion" no matter what our belief. I think it is only respectful...but it doesn't mean I share in the same belief.
If the person persists, then I firmly insist that I understand that their religion is important and I will respect it, I will not discuss my beliefs.
Or a cop out is to say I'm Jewish if they see my "mother-designed" Star at my neck. That doesn't explain my religion, but it keeps 'em quiet.